Depression story

Tay_Blue · ‎08-11-2015

So basically I think I have had depression for a long time now, but I am currently in year 12 and everything has just been intensified. Every day I feel so overwhelmed and sad and anxious with my life (nothing can make me happy), it physically feels like there is a heavy weight permanently in my chest.... I am constantly weak and tired. What's even worse is that all my friends at school who I love sooooo much don't care about me at all! I normally try my hardest to act really happy but when I hit my low moods of being in a blackhole they just ignore me! They continue on talking like I am invisible which makes me feel even worse. I have lost my true self which has lead to self hate, I know that I could be someone people like but at the moment there is nothing good about me, on top of that I just feel so empty and dull and just miserable with everything! I don't even know what to do anymore, physically my body won't let me tell anyone, and I am just so SICK of being this person with little worth or value, at school people don't talk to me in class, I only have my girls at lunch time but they don't seem to like me anymore, for some reason I am not worth their time? Everything about me feels so wrong and dark, it is very very hard for me at the moment- not to mention the constant anxiety every day about going to school.

SeanM92 · ‎10-11-2015

Hey there Tay,
welcome to the forum

Im sorry to hear about your situation,

Have you considered seeing a therapist or your GP about these feelings?
It can be easy to slip into these kinds of mental states and its one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do to get out again. Especially in school. Try to keep in mind with your friends, they might not understand what your going through, but there is a chance that some of them have also felt the same or still do and just hide it aswell, you could try telling them how you feel. Or even maybe talking to your family about it.

Talking to someone about depressive and anxious feelings can usually help alot, better then alot of other things.
Keep in mind that when people suffer from depression or anxiety or panic attacks 9 times out of 10 they think they are alone, but they ar'nt, far from it actually.

Hang in there and don't be afraid to reach out.
Good luck.

Tay_Blue · ‎10-11-2015

Thankyou for your reply. It is very appreciated!

Lori · ‎10-11-2015

Hi Tay.Blue,

Welldone to you for reaching out, it's such a big step and one of the best step's to getting better!

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through, Year 12 can be extremely stressful and even more stressful with friendship issues. It's horrible to hear that your friends aren't being supportive when you are struggling most, it's hard to understand why they are acting like this? maybe they might not understand all that well and are unsure on how to act or what to say with out upsetting you more. Still they should be trying to be supportive and should be making sure your okay.

Can i just say even though your friends might not be given you the support you need, doesn't mean no one cares or your not worthy, you 100% deserve the best in life and your story deserves to be heard. Have you thought of maybe making an appointment with your GP and seeing what suggestions they might have for you to help you get through this? Or maybe seeking some professional help maybe speaking to a Psychologist or Counselor ? there is plenty out there that are more than happy to listen and want to help you.

You shouldn't have to pretend to be someone else and have to put a fake smile on, Be yourself be proud of who you are and how far you have come, you've almost finished year 12.. that's amazing! great achievement and you ill have many more to come. Don't ever give up on yourself or talk yourself down, you deserve to be truly happy and you will be. Once school has finished you will be able to focus on yourself more and work to getting better unfortunately these things take time but you can definitely get there! and one day you will look back and will be extremely happy and proud you pushed forward and you can prove everyone else wrong!

I have all faith in you!

You can do this, don't give up. Push yourself to the best of your abilities and you might just surprise yourself. Keep fighting you will get through this and come out stronger than ever!

Stay Strong! & Keep in touch

-Lori 🙂

Tay_Blue · ‎13-11-2015

Wow thankyou... I really needed to hear that! And of course I have considered talking to someone but I just have no will to do so.

Tay_Blue · ‎13-11-2015

Wow thankyou.. I really needed to hear that!

Lori · ‎17-11-2015

You are more than welcome 🙂

Yeah absolutely it's extremely hard and daunting to do so i know, but guess what it will literally be one of the best things you will ever do it is so helpful. But if you don't like it you can stop.

I have faith in you, i believe you can do it, you just need to believe. I say go for it! Its always great to try new things 🙂

- Lori