Depression from emotional abuse

[Brooklyn33377]

I really need some advice. First time poster.

I have been with my bf for around 14 months. The start of the relationship was great until i found he was on dating sites and msging 4 other girls with explicit content for the first 3 months of the relationship. Despite this we eventually worked things out and has been faithful ever since. I still find it hard to trust him.

My biggest problem now is emotional abuse. Around 4 months ago he quit his job. I have been supporting him since even though i work and study at uni whilst raising a toddler from a previous relatioship. Me and the bf do not live together. He still lives with his parents or stays at mates houses. Lately he has become so far in debt and is on the brink of losing his car. Instead of finding another job he is trying to make quick money and has now taken up smoking weed with his friend that he sees all the time.

I have tried to sympathise that things aren't good right now. Ive tried being there. He often goes days without proper contact and i rarely get to see him. I never truely know what he is doing and alot of his stories are really hard to believe. Ive been questioning him about where he is and what he is doing. He makes promises and doesnt commit to them. Lately we argue non stop because i feel so disconnected with him. He will resort to name calling and telling me im mentally fucked because i cant understand he is trying to sort his life and there are more important things then me in his life. Im so anxious and upset all the time because of him. I dont know what to do! He is supposed to be coming over tonight to talk about our relationship. I dont know what direction to take. I feel all these emotions because of him.

He makes me feel so alone and will reduce me to tears nearly everyday. I feel like i need to let him go because i dont want to be with someone like that. We had such a deep understanding and now thats lost. Im still here because im so negelect and im waiting that same connection we had. I dont know what to do.

I dont want to be cruel. I just want to be appriciated. Ive done so much for him and he is never there for me when i need it.

Please someone just give me some strength anc advice so i can move on. Its so hard for me for some reason and i feel really sick to my stomach.

[white knight]

Hi Brooklyn, welcome

Im sorry its taken so long to get a reply. How did you go last night?

do you think he is the right kind of guy for you?

Will he make a good step father?

Do you want weed around your child growing up?

Trust is number one in any relationship. Emotional abuse is abuse.

Google

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Tony WK

[geoff]

hi Brooklyn, I'm sorry but I have to agree with Tony here, there are too many questions that need to be asked here and whether you are going to get the truth told back to you is doubtful, I'm sorry and I know that this isn't what you want from a r/ship.
You are looking for someone to be faithful and in love with you, and certainly a person who is trustful and honest with you. Geoff.

[MissMySon]

Hi Brooklyn,

When you give someone your trust, and they break it, they have shown you that they are not worthy of your trust.

He says that there are more important things in his life than you, well, that says it all, he would rather smoke weed, and hang with his mates. This is a guy that shouldn't be around your child.

He's also completely dismissive of you, he has no respect for you.

His debts are his responsibility, any money you use to cover his debts, is money thats being taken from your child.

This guy is a loser, you and your child deserve so much better.

Peace and love,

MMS/Scott.

[Brooklyn33377]

Thankyou all for your advice !!!

As you can all guess it ended up with me not being listened to and him just blaming me for everything. None of what i was saying got through to him. I cried alot and he just keeps digging at me saying things like "why would i want to be with you or care about you when your like this?" My reply is always because he neglects me and treats me like the lowest point on his list of priorities.

The next morning i was quiet upset still. But I think i have grown alot today. Instead of sobbing around my house i got out and did some things i had been neglecting and took my little one on bike rides and park trips after being at daycare.

I spent time cooking and studying today as well (even though it was hard to concentrate) .

i think i have accepted that we are on different levels in life now and he is only weighting me down. He keeps msging me asking if im ignoring him etc etc. I just dont ever want to talk or see him again.

thankyou all.

I know i will go though the stupid grieving stages back and forth but today had proven i am strong and i can do this !

Love and ja bless !

Brooklyn

[geoff]

hi Brooklyn, I'm so proud of you. Geoff.