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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Swift Dear diary this is me
  • replies: 2

I have never done this before. I owmed a few diaries over my time but they were about my day not about myself. As of late I am noticing my bad traits. My reflex to lie to new people I meet in order to improve my image or story telling. My lust for se... View more

I have never done this before. I owmed a few diaries over my time but they were about my day not about myself. As of late I am noticing my bad traits. My reflex to lie to new people I meet in order to improve my image or story telling. My lust for sex and enjoyment in flirting whilst being in a relationship and my general disorganization at home. I am in my early 20s and my life has been quite a ride since I can remember. I never had a father and I was bullied throughout high school even by people I considered friends. I didnt really know what it was. I got over it by fighting back. I kicked their asses for waht I thought they deserved. Why are you treating me badly physcially and mentally when I did nothing to you. My mum was never as angry as I thought she would be when I got suspended for hittong someone who bullied me. She was proud but also told me their are other ways. Looking back I really enjoyed primary school and although highschool was a challenge and intense at times Im glad I got through it. In year 9 (13yrsold) my school counseler asked me if I had considered I might have depression. I cried a lot all the time and O was lonely. I was scared when she told me it might he a possibility. I ignored it and focused on making friends. From then until I was 19 I never felt depressed again. What came after highschool was like another life. Everythong i had worked hard for I lost within a year and a half. I graduated with poor grades but I had a dream to be a personal trainer. I did really well over the summer in the study and I graduated at the top of my class. Sadly I fell into a poorly organised contract with a gym. I took advice to get a second job. I did and it was fun. My first hospitality job. Then I met a guy who had an aura about him. I wanted to be his friend. We went out to clubs every friday. I did MDMA for the first time with him and some people he knew. I loved ot at the time. He ended up being a fake friend. I lost my job because I was always late or hangover. I was unemployed for 4 months following. Everyday I played games and smoked. I womdered if the MDMA had changed how my brain worked forever. I met a girl who was so unique and so attracrive. We casually saw each other for 6 months. She encouraged me to get a job along with my mums friends support. We went well for a while she knew of this bad friend and kept me in order and disciplined. Her discipline later turned into a control complex I would say and she made me feel pressured.

Gemini05 Trying to be strong for everyone else
  • replies: 3

I believe that I am a hard nut to crack sometimes. I find it hard to open up to people and let them see the real me. Sometimes I think it comes down to the fact that I want to be strong for everyone in my life. My sister has aniexty and my mother has... View more

I believe that I am a hard nut to crack sometimes. I find it hard to open up to people and let them see the real me. Sometimes I think it comes down to the fact that I want to be strong for everyone in my life. My sister has aniexty and my mother has had mental health issues all her life. My best friend has bulimia and there is a long history of depression in the family. I'm surrounded by people with mental health issues. It makes it hard for me because I've always been perceived as the tough, outspoken and outgoing person of my family I feel like I constantly have this image I need to keep up with, but deep down inside I've never been so unhappy. I feel like it's so hard to open up to people about the way I feel, some nights it's so bad I cry myself to sleep. I guess I've always been the person who helps, cares and supports everyone else going through tough times. I feel like everyone around me expects and needs me to be their rock and I feel like if I was to break down I would just be a burden on them. I guess that's why I'm writing this on a foraum because I don't have anyone else to talk to. I never felt more lonely and hopeless in my whole entire life, I try to remember the last time I felt happy and It breaks my heart because I can't think of a single time in the last 3 years I felt like myself. I wish I could go back in time to when I was a kid I use to be full of happiness. This last year has been the worst year of my life I've lost all my friends from school, I failed at uni so I left and I've just been working, I gained so much weight, I hate looking at myself in the mirror because the person staring back at me I hardly recognise. I've never had a decent relationship any guy I've ever been slightly interested in have always rejected me. I feel like I'm constantly stuck in a deep hole trying to climb my way back up to the surface, I binge eat to make myself feel better but then instantly feel regretful, and the whole time I'm feeling like this I'm being everyone else's rock and putting on a smile. I just don't know if I'll ever be happy ever again. I'm not sure how to talk to anyone about it because I've tried in the past and just can't seem to open up about how I feel or find the right words.

168843689 How to stop crying
  • replies: 5

Hi I haven’t posted on here before so sorry if I don’t do this right. I just cry all the time. Curl up in a ball and hide and cry and literally can’t stop it. I want to stop and just feel a bit happy but I don’t know how. I’m seeing a doctor already ... View more

Hi I haven’t posted on here before so sorry if I don’t do this right. I just cry all the time. Curl up in a ball and hide and cry and literally can’t stop it. I want to stop and just feel a bit happy but I don’t know how. I’m seeing a doctor already but it’s taking so long to feel better and I just want to get out of bed and not cry

rosiemay Communicating with my partner
  • replies: 3

Hi, I'm a young women who has had anxiety and depression for 8 years now and I've kept it very private. I have had help in the past but I struggle with trusting people and opening up. I have been with my current boyfriend for 2 and a half years and h... View more

Hi, I'm a young women who has had anxiety and depression for 8 years now and I've kept it very private. I have had help in the past but I struggle with trusting people and opening up. I have been with my current boyfriend for 2 and a half years and he is almost too good to be true if that's not too sappy. He is very loving and very caring and wants what's best for me but I still struggle with opening up to him about what I need and how he can help. I'm not even sure what to say. I don't want to ruin what I have but I'm so scared about inconveniencing people and asking for help. Any suggestions? Thanks

Saddo_in_Stilettos_22 Mean Girls
  • replies: 8

Hey everyone, I really need some honest, logical advice here. I just joined this site and I to be understood. My dad has an influential position in my country, and he is always away! Sometimes he goes internatially, and I really always miss him. Thou... View more

Hey everyone, I really need some honest, logical advice here. I just joined this site and I to be understood. My dad has an influential position in my country, and he is always away! Sometimes he goes internatially, and I really always miss him. Though I feel bad, because sometimes I forget about him when we are eating dinner or something like that I have really good friends that make me feel happy, but I dont really feel comftable telling them how I feel, when I'm lonely. I want somebody to talk to, when I really can open up. I feel so lonely and sad sometimes, and stay up crying a lot. My mum hears me sometimes and comes into my bed to give me a cuddle (yes, I'm a teenager and she still does that) and asks what's wrong, but I don't want to tell her. She doesn't seem like the right person. Nobody in my life does. I'm constantly pressured about how I look, because I have a lot of zits and they just won't go away even if I put cream on. The popular girls at my school gossip a lot and sometimes I think about me. Girls can me names I've heard, but they are too much of cowards to say to my face. I've started to cry so much that I feel queasy. I don't like life anymore, with the stress, loneliness and sadness. I just want to feel happy and good about myself again, the bubbly and loud girl that isn't afraid to have fun and be weird. I would never commit suicide, that would be too selfish. No matter how much I am not enjoying life, people in my life love me, and I can't stamp on their hearts like that. It would make their lives harder, and making my life end would be awful. It would hurt a lot too. So I'm definitely not doing that. What can I do to get my life, body and mind mentally healthy and happy? I don't want to hear sappy sentimental stuff, just some advice and support. Have you all got my back? What do you think I should do? Saddo_in_Stilettos_22

Stevedonk Anxiety confused
  • replies: 2

Hey my names Steve I’m 23 year old male it’s a long story but last year I ended a 5 year relationship towards the end of it I was feeling amazing all my self and felt like I had to go out and attack the world! So I were single for 4 -5 months after e... View more

Hey my names Steve I’m 23 year old male it’s a long story but last year I ended a 5 year relationship towards the end of it I was feeling amazing all my self and felt like I had to go out and attack the world! So I were single for 4 -5 months after ending it and was doing single stuff with mates but noticed that I was slowly loosing interest in everything I once loved like everything!! The main thing I noticed is that I have lost interest in females and have no sexual attraction to them (always have loved them and still do) if I find a attractive female in town I don’t even think twice to look and feel no emotion to them? As the year has gone on my head has been a big mess it’s making me go crazy and really depressed, last couple of weeks I have been freaking out thay I am gay? Nothing wrong with being gay but from what I was to all this confusion I’m freaking out! Like I used to have such a big ego and so much energy but now I feel like I am in a big deep dark hole with a cloud over me constanly thinking and thinking the worst I know I’m not gay but does this relate to depression and anxiety? Thank you

Miranda55 Ex Bf with depression do I help or move on?
  • replies: 8

I had been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and we had a perfect relationship. Until two months ago he grandma died, he was in a job he hated and other things happend then he got depression. Eventually on one of his downs he broke up with me say... View more

I had been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and we had a perfect relationship. Until two months ago he grandma died, he was in a job he hated and other things happend then he got depression. Eventually on one of his downs he broke up with me saying he doesn't want to drag me into it and he needs to work on himself (which I totally understand) But he contacts me everyday texting and calling. He then had said a couple times he didn't actually brake up with me. And he also calls me Bub again when he's in a good mood and puts x's on messages. When I don't message him back or call him. He messages me heaps and call heaps and gets hysterical. I thought we were all good again. But then I said about going to see him and he had another depression down and basically broke up with me again. It's so confusing he's so dependent on talking to me. Ive told him not to contact me anymore as I need to move on with my life. And It's hurting being his friend. Im not sure what I should do. He won't get help. he's cut his friends out and his parents aren't helping. I'm the only one he talks to and he bawls his eyes out when I say I can't talk to him anymore. what should I do?

Imagine_That Anxiety, Depression & Weight issues
  • replies: 2

Hi. This is the first time I've opened up to anyone (other than family) about my personal battle with my Weight, General, Social & Panic Anxiety as well as Depression. I suffer from all of the above which is apparently largely because of my weight (d... View more

Hi. This is the first time I've opened up to anyone (other than family) about my personal battle with my Weight, General, Social & Panic Anxiety as well as Depression. I suffer from all of the above which is apparently largely because of my weight (doctors statement) I agree with that to an extent. So I'm currently on medication to help with the weight loss, but losing weight doesn't seem to be doing anything with my anxiety or depression. I've lost 12kgs in a year! (Im 180kg+) it's been an huge up hill climb for me. I'm good for a few months then one day I'll wake up with self doubt & hating myself and go straight to comfort eating. My panic attacks are so bad that even while on medication I'll still have minor attacks, but I don't have one attack and that's it. No I have a panic attacks for minimum 2 hours, light headedness, heart palpitations & sweats. My first panic attack was so scary I called an ambo as I thought I was having a heart attack, when the ambo arrived they hooked me up to the heart machine. My heart was 134bpm. I was diagnosed with everything 1 year ago, it was actually the mental health doctor in the emergency room that said it. My social anxiety is what causes most of the attacks. Just the thought of being in a heavly populated area, people judging me, if I was to trip over in public and the list goes on. My depression is well.. depression. I lost my uncle 4 months ago, it was a long week in ICU and it was basically icing on the cake with everything else terrible going on. It's damaged me to the point that I've blocked all emotions and am so emotionally vonrable that anything could break me and I'm afford of it. I'm not a huge talker/sharer I rather listen and try to help other people so I apologise if any of what I typed it short or weird but yeah... I would just like to know if there is anyone else like me or if anyone has tips for anything I've typed. I'd appreciate help/inputs.

sad-artist Bad reaction to breakup.
  • replies: 2

I'm a 20 year old female who recently broke up with a live in boyfriend. We had been together for 5 years. I'm struggling. I can't eat, I can't get motivated to do anything. I'm constantly anxious and get nauseous. My stomach has a heart beat and my ... View more

I'm a 20 year old female who recently broke up with a live in boyfriend. We had been together for 5 years. I'm struggling. I can't eat, I can't get motivated to do anything. I'm constantly anxious and get nauseous. My stomach has a heart beat and my chest is tight and heart beats fast. I know it's for the best. I'm glad it happened. But I'm reacting badly. I don't know who I am , I don't know what to do now. And I don't like being in the flat on my own. I spend no time there I'm always with my mum. I don't want to feel like this, I don't like constantly crying , I don't like not feeling like myself. But I don't know what to do to fix it. The break up was mutual we were to different he just wanted to hang out with friends constantly, never texted me never came home never wanted to spend time with me and would never make sacrifices, and I'd be angry and horrible because of it. I feel like I'm going to explode physically. And emotionally. It's frustrating because I know it's for the best. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I guess I've never been alone, and don't have my own life. And now I'm on my own I don't know how to handle myself. I'm scared and can't get myself up to get into a new routine. I need help. I'm missing work, I can't function normally.

Cjt121 Relationship vs family - confused and overthinking
  • replies: 3

My anxiety is being triggered again by overthinking I think it is leading to worry. First of all I’m in a relationship of 6 months and my father isn’t very supportive of it at all. He has laid some ground rules that he doesn’t want to meet my boyfrie... View more

My anxiety is being triggered again by overthinking I think it is leading to worry. First of all I’m in a relationship of 6 months and my father isn’t very supportive of it at all. He has laid some ground rules that he doesn’t want to meet my boyfriend unless we have been dating for two years (I think this is way too far and it’s slowly killing me). He has this thing where he doesn’t think it will last and this worries me. I catch myself thinking “maybe he’s right” and it won’t last and I may as well break up with him now to save myself hurt. But I love him, I love him so much that it makes me cry. And I’m terrified of being left by him or alone. Secondly, we are moving out together next year in January but not just us two, with other people. Like a share house. My father has doubt about this and doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and my nan doesn’t either. But they both haven’t met him. My nan is more old school though and doesn’t entirely understand. I’m scared, confused and worried about the situation when I know I should be excited. I don’t like having these doubts clouding my head, I wanna do this and be happy. Why do I feel like this.

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