constantly being alone

[why1]

I dont really know what I am doing or even how to explain it but here it goes.

I am a 21 year old male and i cant go to shopping centers or anywhere that has a high volume of people without stressing i start to sweat and feel like everyone is watching me and it doesn't make sense because i work in the retail industry. And in general i just cant stand people my ideal world is to live in the middle of nowhere away from everything. I act like an idiot while drinking and i hate it i try not to drink but end up drinking. I get angry really quickly as well i just dont know how i can sort out my life i dont enjoy living nothing is exciting. I just want help 

[Flight]

Hello why1

Are you speaking with a psychologist at the moment?  If not it would be a good idea to go to your GP and speak to him/her about a seeing one, they are brilliant at helping you with your thoughts and fears.  You are not along with your thoughts, I to feel the same way about living in isolation.  Best of luck.

[why1]

Hey Flight

 I haven't seen a psychologist, I just don't know if I can talk to a complete stranger (in person) about my issues it kind of frightens me. That also applies to my GP. I will try and work up some courage to see someone though I know in the end its the best idea, just getting the courage will be the hardest thing for me. 

Thank you for the support.

[white knight]

Hi Why1, welcome to beyond blue forums

Flight is right, first step to your doctor. Your condition and fear is not uncommon.

At 21yo you might still be developing mentally, getting to know yourself, your limits and your needs. Many people avoid crowds. I used to but I decided I would concentrate on what I need to buy then - I'm out of there.

If I can shop after hours I do. Luckily my wife is the same.

And dont be afraid or worried if medication is prescribed. That along with therapy and exercises is all part of the package to recovery.

Good luck.      Tony WK