Confused, Depressed, Lonely, and Empty

Mint_Choco · ‎02-07-2018

I am 20 and live overseas with my boyfriend, we met back in our hometown and decided to study abroad. My family is perfect, you can say I have a lot of friends and has no problems in my personal life. I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 years, He is my first boyfriend and I am his first as well. We're always together and every time he leaves, I feel sad.

We started dating in 2015, he lives 1 hour away from me and I always want to see him every day, otherwise, I'll feel empty. In 2016, we decided to go study at the same university and I would sleep in his dorm room every day for 1 year. When our industry placement started, we've been living together until now and I am very happy about it.

We work in the same workplace but we have different shifts, he would work from the afternoon till midnight and i start early in the morning till afternoon. When i get home, I usually just wait for him at home so we can sleep together, I even always say no to my friends when they ask me to hang out. And sometimes he would sleepover at his mate's house for 1 night and I would cry at night.

And now he's gone home to our hometown for only 6 days but I feel VERY lonely, depressed, and feel like I have no life and what keeps me going is that I am going to see him again. I even count the days so it will feel faster... When he's not with me at night, I would take sleeping pills so that I wouldn't cry at night and sleep longer. The first thing I think about in the morning is him and always him throughout the day. When my friends contact me, I wouldn't answer because I would rather sleep and forget the pain. I feel like people will think i'm overreacting, I feel like I am too, but i don't know what to do...

Even doing the dishes requires a lot of energy and I just want to lay down in my bed until he comes back.

There was this time where he went on a trip with his friends for 4 days, believe it or not, I didnt go out of my room AT ALL. My mom would bring me food and I didn't even take a shower even though there is a bathroom inside my room. I didn't have any life at all...

I talked to my boyfriend about this and he feels sad, he doesn't wanna leave me at all. He always says we'll get through this, just think about when you're gonna see me again.

I do know that this is very unhealthy for myself, yet I don't know what I should do...

Croix · ‎03-07-2018

Dear Mint_Choco~

Welcome here to the Forum, I'm sorry about the delay, it is nothing to do with you, or what you are posting about. It is simply something that happens from time to time.

Needing your boyfriend all the time in order to feel happy and secure is probably not good for either of you. I would think as your boyfriend does go away from time to time it is not exactly the same for him and it would be pretty good if you were more equal wiht him in that way..

I'd suggest seeing a GP and explain what is happening. Ask to be tested for anxiety and see what happens. It may be you will end up with treatments like therapy or counseling.

It is fine to have needs, and you need to realize they are real and do have to be met. However accepting that you have to fulfill some yourself rather than relying on someone else for all of them is hard, which I'd imagine is where counseling may come in.

I would think that by being a bit less reliant you will make yourself a better and stronger partner for your boyfriend, someone to be strong for him when he has troubles.

Croix