Can't handle criticism

[Lolue]

Hi,

A few weeks ago I expressed my interest to my manager if I could apply to be on our works succession plan for the team leader role. I was told no at this stage and the feedback I got was I'm too quiet, keep to myself and that because of my health issues I wouldn' be able to handle other people's issues when they come to me.

Tis has been escalating as I was told that the third feedback was borderline discrimination as my manager was skirting around my mental health. I was told by my site manager to try to resolve it with my manager. However I have not been able to get clear feedback on how to work on the feedback only that I'll do moc scenarios in coaching but our coaching sessions could be cancelled at any time due to shrinkage.

I have other co-workers say that I can't handle criticism and that I'm a daddies little princress behind my back.

i feel like I'm coming across wrong and that I don't take on feedback and I just wondering to stick it out or quit 😞

Ill be at my work for 2 years and I don't know what kind of jobs I would apply for. I just feel lost and empty at the moment.

[blondguy]

Hello Lolue

Criticism will always be there unfortunately. However if its at the stage where your quality of life is being effected it may be a good time to keep an eye out for another position

I used to have issues with criticism too and can bring us down. I understand where you are coming from.

May I ask if you enjoy your work? If you still do maybe have a chat to your GP as you will find some clarity...maybe a double appointment? You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

Im not sure if you have any anxiety as I do. Having any mental health problem can make criticism worse than what it really is

What do you think?

My kind thoughts

Paul

[Doolhof]

Hi Lolue,

Do you see any one for your mental health issues at the moment? Have you tried writing down how you feel then going over that and seeing what you can change?

Criticism is something I have trouble with due to my low self-esteem. When I accept that I can not be the perfect person, but I am who I am, than I feel better about myself.

I know there are things I can do to help myself as well. One is not letting other people's comments hurt so much. If I do think a comment does apply, than I consider how I might be able to change my behaviour so I don't react so much.

Another thing I have realised, that if you have an issue, going to a different place might not help, as that issue is going to be right there with you unless you have learnt to deal with it.

Is there a HR person you can talk to? What does your organisation policy and procedures say about your employee rights and about how people with mental health issues can be treated within the organisation?

Maybe now is not the time for you to be in that position. Maybe now is the time to work on becoming the best you can be so yes, you can be considered for that position in the future.

Cheers from Dools

[Lolue]

Hi thank you for replying.

I have been seeing a psychologist who today has decided that I should do cognitive analytic therapy (cat). Cause we have both notice I have a pattern of unhealthy coping mechanisms I have and that it goes round to the point I feel the need to punish myself.

I do try to go away and work on the feedback. But I tend to feel frustrated if I can't see tangible results.

[Lolue]

I enjoy work when I get to do coaching and focus sessions cause I enjoy helping others.

[blondguy]

Hi Lolue

Good on you for having a quality counselor. CAT or even CBT is a smart move as it helps us deal with the issues that keep bringing us down. I had 7 months of intensive Cognitive Behavioral Therapy a few years ago and it worked wonders and made a huge difference to my outlook on my work and life in general

Thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue community 🙂

I hope you can stick around the forums

Paul

[Doolhof]

Hi Lolue,

Hopefully you will find the therapy beneficial. It only works for as long as you do it...so I have found out! I learn all these great ways to cope, than forget to keep up with the homework and practising the strategies.

You might also find a thread called "Talking to your inner critic" by quirkywords in the Staying Well section to be beneficial to you.

I find trying to accept criticisms possible words of encouragement instead of total negatives helps me sometimes. It isn't always to deal with it though.

Cheers from Dools