Can't cope anymore

[Hopestevo]

Hi, so even though I'm young I feel as if I can't cope anymore.

I'm in grade 8 and right now I feel as tired and depressed.

All my friendships have turned toxic and I'm failing classes from stress, losing sleep and I don't know what to do.

I have spoken to a school counselor and they say to take time off but it's hard when your family wont listen, or when there is no one to talk too.

[smallwolf]

Hopestevo,

Hey. Sorry you feel this way.

Although these days high school typically starts in grade 7, when I was young it was grade 8. And a brand new world! No longer the oldest kid in school, and then in high school you become the youngest. Changes occurred around this time also... becoming a teen etc.Friendship wise, and I can remember this from my own son, that what your friends used to like are no more, and maybe for you also? And I guess there are still pressures to do well?

So maybe we can try to tick off the easy things (and easy is a relative term). Since you have indicated that your family will not listen, you can could always try ...

the kids help line on 1800 55 1800 and their web site is https://kidshelpline.com.au/

Next, if you have a phone you can also install smiling minds app onto your phone. It has a number of things that might help you with what you are going through.

Now I have a app on my phone called relax melodies. It plays sounds that I can also layer on top of each other. For example, fire and rain and wind. These help to empty my mind before sleep. Someone explained to me the importance of sleep. And I think that sleep problems, would contribute to your tiredness, and possibly lack of concentrations and fear of failing?

If it is OK with you I might ask a few questions...

In what way have you friendships become toxic?

Can you identify when the problem(s) started? what as going on?

Do your parents know that you have spoken with the school counselor?

I am wondering whether the school counselor might be able to speak with your parents?

As far as your parents not listening? Is that because they are too busy? Or dont believe in mental illness? Or? Could you write them a note or email letting them know how you are feeling? And that you have been speaking with the school counselor?

So... I am listening to you. But also note that I am just a user here with anxiety and depression issues. And you will be supported in this space by myself and other users. And we cannot give advice as to what action to take. But if you want to talk some more, we are here to help as we can.

Tim

[LavenderTea]

Hey Hopestevo,

Thanks for posting – we’re here to listen.

Tim has made some really good points so I’ll only talk about a couple other things here.

It’s really important to be trying to get enough sleep, which doesn’t seem like something that’s happening for you right now. Not sleeping well, or not sleeping enough can influence a whole lot of things like our mood, our appetite, our motivation, our ability to cope with tricky situations, and a whole lot more. Adolescence is a tricky time for sleep; as the body changes, so does the brain, and while you may have gone to sleep earlier when you were younger, during adolescence, the brain wants to go to sleep later, and wake up later – this is because of the internal body clock – but, as you would know, with early school starts, you don’t get that sleep in. Because of this, it is important to make the most of the time you do get to sleep, and there are a few ways you can do this:

• Remove (ideally) or reduce the amount of tech in your room – this includes phones, TVs and computers/laptop use. Rather than your brain getting used to being awake and paying attention to what’s happening on a screen, your brain will start to associate your bedroom with sleep.
• Try and get into a routine – Going to bed and waking up at the same (or a similar) time is important because it will train your body to get tired and begin relaxing when it’s close to bedtime to help you get to sleep easier.
• Regular exercise – if you’re getting regular exercise, this can help in a few ways. Firstly, you mentioned that you experience stress and feel depressed. Exercise will release “feel good” hormones which will reduce some of the stress and negative mood, and will typically make you feel better even in the smallest way. In addition, exercise will work off any extra energy that you might have, that would normally keep you awake and turning over in your bed.
• Notice how warm/cold your room is – this might sound ridiculous, but having a cool room will help you sleep better – this has to do with the body temperature. When we sleep, our body temperature will decrease, so having that cooler environment will help the process along.

The last thing I want to mention, is self-care. It's important to take some time out for yourself to do things that you enjoy doing. These can be things like reading, listening to music, playing a console game - whatever works for you.

Hope this helps.

LT.

[Midnight_Miles]

Hi just letting youy know im in grade 8 to and im feeling the same,

[lxve]

Hey Hopestevo,

I'm in year 9, and i feel the exact same way. I have anxiety and i go to a school with people who are all of a high standard. Everyone took a test to actually be allowed in our school, so you can just imagine. I really empathise with you because i know it's really hard. Friendships just become exhausting and we are only young so people think that it's just some sort of phase or it doesn't matter, but is does. It's so frustrating.