Anxious to get a job, I really need help.

[Patches27]

Hi, I'm pretty new to this and I don't really know what to write but I need help.
I feel like a failure, I get so anxious all the time and I'm absolutely terrified to get a job. I've never had a job before and I'm so scared to get one. I know it wont be as terrifying as I think but the thought of being somewhere new and around new people scares me. I panic whenever I send a resume of because I get worried that they will call me and I might actually get the job. 
I'm scared my anxiety is ruining my relationship, since we both want to move in together but we can't because I can't get a job. I'm becoming so sad because I have no idea how to help myself, I see all these stories of people getting jobs even though they have anxiety and it makes me feel awful because I have so many difficulties overcoming this. I want to get a job, I want to so bad but I cant help but feel so anxious about it. I hate social interaction and I thinks that's why I'm so scared to get a job. 

[Narniakid]

Hi Patches27!

Getting a job can be really daunting - I put it off for ages because of my struggle with anxiety. I was exactly like you, I freaked out at the thought of my resume actually getting a call. 

Your theory regarding it not being that bad when you actually get there is true - employers understand that starting a new job is really scary, so they're usually more than willing to make your start a welcome one. 

I suggest going for part-time or casual jobs, as a full time job would be too stressful for your condition. Even just one day a week for you - that's a good start. 

Have a look on the BB website for some info to help you, and give the hotline a call. Don't give up because it'll be worth it when you get that first payslip! I believe in you! You CAN do this!

 Crystal

[Patches27]

Thank you so much, it's so nice to know someone else has/had the same problem that I am currently facing. I appreciate your response so much 🙂

[Sophia_Sophia]

Hi Patches27:)

First up, you're not a failure at all! Reaching out for help is a huge thing:) 

I can totally empathise with how you are feeling, I struggle with anxiety sometimes and that paralysed feeling it gives you is HORRIBLE! But you know what, like you said, despite what you are feeling, it definitely won't be as bad as you think and once you do it you will feel so so good for challenging your thoughts. I sometimes even find that going to work is really good to get you out of your head:)

Like Crystal recommended, a part time job would be a fantastic start. You can definitely get a job so don't be so hard on yourself and get upset about worst case scenarios, as hard as that is 🙂

Also --- something I like to remind myself when I am feeling anxious/calling myself a failure is to remind myself of all the things I do do, e.g. you have reached out for advice which is something you should feel great about + you have sent out resumes, also something to be celebrated! Also, speaking to yourself as you would a friend, you certainly wouldn't call a friend a failure, so try be kind to yourself while you do this!:) 

I'm always here to talk if you need to chat, so respond to my post if you want to talk more 🙂 

You can do it!!:) 

Lots of love, 

Sophia xxxxxxx

[pockets4health]

Hi Patches27, welcome to BB and thanks for posting!

Looking for a job can be very hard, I myself went through a pretty tough time finding one.

It sounds like your anxiety is effecting a few parts of your life and inhibiting you from living it the way you want. It might be a good idea to have a look around the BB website for information on Anxiety and maybe see your GP or a psychologist so you can work on some strategies together. There are a lot of people that have the feelings that you have, myself included but learning strategies to cope with them has really helped me get to the place that I am today. Spending time planning, writing and creating safe spaces for me has been a huge help and also taught me to communicate my anxieties clearly so that other people can help. You don't have to do this alone. 

I think it's pretty great that you are applying and writing for resumes but please don't think that if you get the job then you have to take it. If you aren't comfortable then you can say no. Most companies have probation periods too so if you're finding it too hard you can leave so please don't feel that you're going to be stuck in it forever.

It might be an idea to seek out friends or family that could give you a job first up? Working with people that you know a little might be a good way to start out and it will give you an idea of what it's like in a workplace. Have a little more faith in people, yes meeting people is hard and being in an environment where you're being assessed on what you do is daunting but you have to remember that most people are generally good at heart, they want what's best for you and they will understand what you're up against. There are companies out there that nurture their staff and treat them well and if you can find a place like that to work I think it can be something truly wonderful for you even if the first few months is daunting and scary. Trust in yourself that you can do it and don't settle for anything you aren't comfortable with. 

I can understand the fears that you have but I think the process of conquering your fear is going to be a great opportunity for you to grow. Don't give up!

V

[Francesco]

Hi,

I want to start by firstly saying that in no way are you a failure, you have failed nothing if anything you are taking a great step by coming here for some help, so well done! 🙂

I know jobs feel like they are a make or break but honestly thats not the case. I still dont have a job and all of my friends do but thats okay, you and I dont need jobs to make our lives feel significant. If you are nervous for the job set up could I suggest volunteer work, i currently volunteer at the salvation army and it helped build my confidence as well as take the pressure off as volunteer work is very flexible and supportive. 

Honestly, there is no reason to feel as though things will fall apart without you having a job, As for your anxiety, have you considered seeing a GP or even a psychologist? Perhaps, it may help you to learn some tactics to overcome it or even understand it better. I have anxiety too and I know how extreme it can feel and isolated but people do care and understand and want to see you shine.

I applaud you for coming here. I know you will continue to search for those jobs but I want you to be able to see your worth as being great with or without a job!

Best of luck! 🙂

[Patches27]

I had my first ever job interview, I aced it and was invited to a second job interview but my nerve got the best of me since I found it was going to be a job interview. I figured out after my first interview that they're not as scary as I originally thought. 
Thank you to everyone that helped, I'm going to keep all your points locked away for next time i have an interview. 

I'm still so anxious but getting over the initial phone call and interview has made me that much more confident. 

Thank you all xx