Anxiety and depression have ruined my life

[Kln]

This is my first time posting, I haves I much anxiety about trying to tell people that I'm not okay, so this is hard for me, I'm so used to being the strong Unbreakable person. 9months ago at work a patient died, I do medical scanning and it was during a scan, it was a massive shock and I soon fell into depression, anxiety and I guess PTSD. I have struggled so badly, I tried medication however the side effects were too much. I have been seeing a psychologist and know all the things I need to do to get better but I just can't seem to put them in place.

i know my emotions have been erratic and I'm all over the place,but I thought I had a good support system. But a couple days ago my boyfriend of 7 years left me. He had been lying to me and not being there for me when i needed.

i am now back to square one and dont know what to do. I have no close friends because I find it hard to open up to people. I don't have the greatest relationship with my parents as I'm adopted and have the fear of letting them down. I'm so used to being the over achiever and perfect role model that no one believes that I'm actually not okay.

My anxiety has become so bad that I am too scared to leave the house and normal daily things are too hard. How am I meant to move forward when I am being forced back?

[BballJ]

Hi Kln,

Firstly, welcome to the forums, well done for posting your story, I know it is hard to open up but you have done so well, which is a positive sign you may be able to down the track as well. These forums are great and you may find you will be able to open up more easier here as so many people have been through what you have been through.

Are you still seeing your psychologist or has that stopped? It seems you haven't fully got the root of your problems and may need to go back if you stopped seeing them... also perhaps opening up to your parents is one to think about as well, i understand you are adopted but I'm sure they would want to know the length of your suffering, I finally told my dad what I was going through and was surprised at how supportive he is.

My best for you,

Jay

[geoff]

hello, and welcome to the site.
There is always a thought from people that they are unbreakable, but somewhere along the way something could happen that will show them that they're aren't infallible, everybody has their weak point, and for you to have to experience this must have been a shock, but never the less it was nothing you did that caused this to happen, however that's how you feel and I would be no different than you.
What you were hoping for was your b/friend to be there for you along the way, but he has lied and deceived you in every way known, in other words he was being hopeless and wouldn't want to help get you over this trauma, and in fact it's probably best he not be there with you, even though there was a 7 year relationship, so now we hope that we can help you and form a connection with you.
What is worse is to not have anyone you can talk to, because this only makes you think about all the negative points in your life, but what has happened means that this has been such an extreme event which will need us to nuture you back until we can hopefully get you back onto your feet.
This will take a little time but I hope that you feel as though you can trust us, and when this does happen then you might be able to leave the house and seek treatment, but first of all there are plenty of people on this site who have had to encounter their own problems, in other words we will understand what you are going through, and for that I'm truly sorry for you.
Please keep this post open, I hope that this will happen. Geoff. x

[159357]

I have trouble leaving the house too. I don't know how to help you as i'm stuck with this terrible mental health. So all i can do is wish you good luck.!