Alone and lost

[Ghostboy]

I recently told my mum I can’t go to university anymore because I am so unstable right now but she doesn’t understand. She was the one person I thought would and it took me a year to tell her. Since she doesn’t understand, I don’t know where to go from here. I’m 21, I used to be so happy and confident and now I’m in my room all day because I can’t find the energy to go out. I dont see my friends anymore and they all think I don’t want to see them but that’s not it at all. If I told them how I felt they would never understand because I’m so good at hiding it. When I started uni I told myself I would stick to it and make friends but here I am dropping out. I just need people who understand what I’m talking about. Anyone.

[Rabbit33]

Hi Ghostboy,

Thank you for reaching out. I hear what you're saying. You feel as though Uni or at least the course you are studying is not for you and is creating a great deal of stress and isolation for you?
Have you spoken with a careers counsellor at the Uni or any other people within your support group that may be able to provide you with some assistance or support?
If you really want to drop out, that is totally your decision and i'm sure your Mother will understand. Sometimes people just want what is best for us but they don't always know what the 'best' is. So try to sit on it for a little bit maybe? Speak with someone else, gain some support, maybe writ e pro's and con's list and then approach your Mother a second time and see how that goes?

It's important to try and have a balanced lifestyle, so try and make some time for your friends this week. Even if it's just for a coffee, or a chat over the phone. It will really help de-stress you.

I wish you all the best! Sending you positive vibes Ghostboy 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Ghostboy, thanks for posting your comment and I'm sorry that you have hidden it for a year, that's a long time to pretend to be OK, and it happened with me for a long time as well.

There are a few options for you to consider, and I'm only suggesting this as I'm not a doctor,

-you could defer, go and see your doctor who may decide on medication and then refer you onto a psychologist where you can use the 'mental health plan', which entitles you to 10 Medicare paid sessions

-talk to a counsellor at the uni

-ring Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 and these people look after people from 5 years old up to 25 years

-ring BB 1300 22 4636 and ask for their help

-Reachout.com

-Sane 1800 18 7263

-Mensline 1300 78 99 78

-Blackdog Institute (02) 9382 4530

There is help for you but please book an appointment with your doctor and remember all of us have had to struggle through our own type of depression, so we understand how you are feeling.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[Idontevenknow]

Hi Ghostboy,

I went through a similar thing when I left grade 9/10 and moved into my final school years. I used to be a starry-eyed bushy tailed student with nearly straight a's and so much hope for my future. I began feeling depressed and hid it so well even psychiatrists thought I was lying. To be completely honest, I'm not out of this rut yet but my advice from being in a similar place is to:

1. Get professional support, even if its just a quick convo to beyond blue or kids helpline over the phone

2. Tell the people who you absolutely trust most maybe the gist of your situation, if they are rude about it or don't understand they don't need to be in your life, at least for now.

3. Try and find any single thing you enjoy and grab it with both hands while you can. Trust me I wish I did this before my whole world went black. Use little bits of joy to get you through things and maybe clear your head and decide what will be best for you now, and in the future.

4. YOLO. If you can, like I just said, leave uni and start tafe or go travelling or go on a solo movie date. Just do it, f it all.

5. It will get better, I know you're rolling your eyes as you read this, but trust me it will, it will.

Best of luck!