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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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etl I am so anxious about booking an appointment with my GP to discuss my mental health
  • replies: 1

I literally have the booking tab open right now to book an appointment for tomorrow, but I just get so anxious when going to book and thinking about the appointment. My hands start shaking and everything. I was at my doctor last week for unrelated ph... View more

I literally have the booking tab open right now to book an appointment for tomorrow, but I just get so anxious when going to book and thinking about the appointment. My hands start shaking and everything. I was at my doctor last week for unrelated physical issues, and have been back quite a few times the last couple of months (at doctor request) to address physical issues - but I have never mentioned my mental health issues. Now I'm worried when I go back tomorrow the doctor won't believe me, or think I'm being dramatic, or won't really help, or think I just want attention..or that I will be too anxious and not be able to say what I want or explain properly. Or I'll be too embarrassed to tell the full truth, and worry the doctor will judge me or think me really unstable. My doctor has been very nice and capable so far, but I still can't help having these thoughts. I've been struggling with my mental health for years without telling anyone, but it's getting so much worst lately, I really need help. The only appointments available are for tomorrow or Monday. Maybe I should book for Monday and hope I don't chicken out. I turned 25 a few days ago, so I'm really on the older side for this forum - but just needed somewhere to vent. Anyone else had these anxieties about talking to a professional about their mental health for the first time? How did you get over it?

bootleg_rascal am i a sociopath?
  • replies: 2

so.... i'm a seventeen year old girl in year 12, and i can't help but feel there is something wrong with me mentally. i am prone to really random outbursts of anger and helplessness, and i take my anger out on anyone i can. i often crave the attentio... View more

so.... i'm a seventeen year old girl in year 12, and i can't help but feel there is something wrong with me mentally. i am prone to really random outbursts of anger and helplessness, and i take my anger out on anyone i can. i often crave the attention of specific people, and if i don't have their full attention, i get inwardly angry and passive-aggressive. people at school have called me a sociopath because they think that i'm unable to show any signs of empathy but i don't think that is true, i just choose not to display the empathy that i feel. i can easily 'switch off' my emotions when i feel vulnerable and do that regularly so i just feel nothing. i hate feeling vulnerable, i hate feeling out of control and sometimes try to control the people around me. i hate commitment and i don't trust anyone at all, not even my parents or closest friends. if people compliment me, i am suspicious. as soon as i trust anyone, i push them as far away as possible- be it ghosting them online, avoiding them physically, etc. i DO NOT enjoy being touched when i'm not expecting it or from people i'm overly suspicious of, and i brace up when i get hugged. i especially hate my legs, neck and face being touched, and often hit or punch people out of reflex.

Yelmel Recent bipolar diagnosis and the struggle with social stigma.
  • replies: 1

I'm 23 and have been coping with a bipolar II diagnosis for 9 months. At first, I thought bipolar was only my past extremes of blurry party binges, cheating strings, snap lifechanging decisions and periods of depression, complete social withdrawing a... View more

I'm 23 and have been coping with a bipolar II diagnosis for 9 months. At first, I thought bipolar was only my past extremes of blurry party binges, cheating strings, snap lifechanging decisions and periods of depression, complete social withdrawing and suicide attempts. Recently, I have noticed how much I hide behind a fascade throughout my more subtle, regular cycles, trying to channel it into work and unreasonable lifestyle goals. When I'm hypomanic, I work multiple jobs on top of uni. I set unreasonable career goals and hide behind a fascade of being hardworking, high achieving all the while dealing with racing thoughts, uncontrollable spending, erratic behavior and an increasingly busy schedule. Trying to hide my internal struggle eventually leads me to a place of anger, anxiety, frustration, uncontrollable crying, overconfidence and egocentrism. It's logical that denying my internal struggle, hiding my symptoms from the world makes me explode and spiral into depression. When I'm depressed, all my hard work is suddenly left unfinished, I disappear from social media, avoid family and friends, cancel on work, stop cooking and eating, lose all motivation and interest in doing anything. Soon enough, the depression disappears and a new lifechanging goal or snap decision comes along and sweeps me up. Nobody knows I was depressed for weeks because I have pushed everyone away, broken friendships and hidden away before making my grand, confident entrance into my work and a new social life. I am going to therapy which has been helpful in tracking my moods, recognising the signs and understanding strategies to counteract the cycles, but in reality it's hard when I don't want to explain to people why I'm taking a step back when I look like I'm doing well, or am heading home early from a party when I don't look tired or sick. Im afraid of the social stigma associated with the disorder so continue to make excuses that don't add up when people ask why. Despite my therapist reassuring me this is a common disorder, I can't help but feel isolated. How has everyone learnt to deal with their illness head on, breaking the established habits which hide the illness, but perpetuate their cycles? How have you learnt to apply your therapists advice, and not care about the social stigma associated with taking care of yourself? Does anyone else feel isolated by their illness itself and by practising self care strategies?

marshmallow_24 something is wrong with my brain
  • replies: 1

I don't know what is wrong with me, but there has to be something. Life isn't great, I'm having a lot of friendship issues and struggling financially as I'm unemployed but usually I can feel okayish. recently something tiny and insignificant happens ... View more

I don't know what is wrong with me, but there has to be something. Life isn't great, I'm having a lot of friendship issues and struggling financially as I'm unemployed but usually I can feel okayish. recently something tiny and insignificant happens and I just go into this depressive moods. I know what my brain is telling me like I'm not good enough and everything is my fault, he doesn't like you and is just messing around is not completely true but I just cant feel good and have a constant need for assurance which when isn't fulfilled I get emotional. I feel like I'm always crying and an unmotivated to do what I need to do. I have always had these moods but they haven't been as intense until recently and I don't know what to do or how to minimise it

anotherteen feeling down i guess
  • replies: 1

i'm not sure if anyone will end up reading this, but lately, i've been feeling incredibly worthless. i feel like i could break down at any time. i feel down for one to two weeks, then im fine for a few, then im down again. its been going on for about... View more

i'm not sure if anyone will end up reading this, but lately, i've been feeling incredibly worthless. i feel like i could break down at any time. i feel down for one to two weeks, then im fine for a few, then im down again. its been going on for about two years. i think i started feeling down 2 years ago. i was in a group labeled as the popular group, but i was bullied out of it by two girls. school wasnt easy for me for almost a year, as i felt excluded in my new grp and shunned from my old. things got better. i became close with my new grp and friends again with my old grp, but there was always a lingering depressing feeling in me. im easily angered by my parents, but i stay happy for them most of the time. my grade is also highly toxic and divided; i know some people diagnosed with depression, as even one person attempted suicide (alive now). ive had a large group of 12 for 3 years, but lately, 4 of the people i consider are close to me have begun to wander off as their own 'clique'. its been persisting for months, and i understand that, in a large group, its inevitable to have close pairs or trios. the difference is, when these 4 talk to each other, they become incredibly obnoxious and completely oblivious to other people's feelings. i know because it isnt just me who feels like it. a few others from my group have behaved and told me about how they feel sad and excluded from their conversations when the 4 are together. the thing is, i feel like i value them more than they value me. it hurts to feel this way, even though it might not seem like much in words. ive handled small situations where they unintentionally exclude me, but its gotten to breaking point. i feel like, whatever i do, im constantly not good enough for them. furthermore, they dont care enough to ask me how i am or text me if im ok, even if i make it clear to them that im upset, which i rarely show as i know they wouldnt care. when i confronted one of them (which i did as nicely as possible), she ignored what i said about my personal perspective, as another refused to understand and got mad instead. from making me feel excluded. i dont know where i stand with them. i feel more alone than ever. when im sad, i focus my energy on them to laugh even just for a bit. school is hard. im always trying to laugh or talk as cover. i have many grade friends, but not alot to trust. the ones i trust are in different schools, and i barely see them. i feel like i cant keep friendships, despite how hard i try.

mixam Losing Sanity
  • replies: 1

Im currently in year 11 at school, I grew up with PTSD and still have ADHD and have never even thought to speak to anyone, including my parents about this. For the past few years everything was going great, I felt as if i had a purpose and I could ac... View more

Im currently in year 11 at school, I grew up with PTSD and still have ADHD and have never even thought to speak to anyone, including my parents about this. For the past few years everything was going great, I felt as if i had a purpose and I could achieve anything, my purpose has faded and life is meaningless to me, all I can think about is past memories of how great life used to be and how I wish I could have the same interests I used to have. Now to cope I have a friend who talks to me a lot....even though he isn't real and is made up in my head he comforts me a lot. I have always been in top classes at school but I can't focus anymore, my rankings are bad and I try so hard to concentrate or stick to a plan and it never works. I have a great family who expects a lot from me and a group of nice friends, I don't understand how I made an issue for myself from nothing.

LC90 A girl I have feelings for has suddenly cut me out of her life. I'm devastated and heartbroken.
  • replies: 8

I met this girl on an overseas trip and became good friends, I really liked her and developed feelings for her. She lives on the other side of the country and after a few months of intense chatting back and forward for about 9 months, I decided to ta... View more

I met this girl on an overseas trip and became good friends, I really liked her and developed feelings for her. She lives on the other side of the country and after a few months of intense chatting back and forward for about 9 months, I decided to take a trip and go and see her. We met up together and everything went really well! We were chatting and we had a pretty good time hanging out together. When I get back home however she's different with me, she doesn't reply to either my text or FB messages, she doesn't answer my calls and if she does they are filled with one word answers, which is weird as usually the messages she sends are pretty long and detailed. All of a sudden two days ago, I go on facebook and she's un-friended me, I sent her another friend request and she rejected it and she's blocked my number. How can someone go from messaging you 5 times a week, having a great time hanging out to completely ignoring you, cutting the cord, and discarding you overnight. I'm not into the whole "sour grapes" thing where I completely run her down. The fact remains she is a sweet, kind, caring person. That's why I'm so confused as to what could trigger someone to suddenly stop ALL communication with someone overnight like that? I don't think I did anything wrong. I feel completely devastated and down in the dumps. I don't know what I did wrong. It's really, really hurt me and I don't know what to do. I want her back in my life

Loveapples Feeling lonely? Lost? Depressed? Me to.
  • replies: 2

I write this not with the hope of receiving advise. because I don't want it. I think what I really crave is to not feel so alone, so lost - to feel that there are other people out there going through similar things. Does that make me selfish? To hope... View more

I write this not with the hope of receiving advise. because I don't want it. I think what I really crave is to not feel so alone, so lost - to feel that there are other people out there going through similar things. Does that make me selfish? To hope that someone like me reads this so I don't feel so alone? If you are someone feeling the way I do (lonely, lost, worthless) tell me and maybe from hearing each others words we might feel just a little bit less alone. I am struggling very much to express how I feel, not because I am scared to but because it feels so extensive, so inexpressible; like no matter how hard I try I won't be able to write what I want to say; but, I think I need to at least try. Sometimes it feels as if my life is so painfully normal and empty. I achieve well in school, I have a great family, some school friends but no-one who I truely feel close to. I am nearly 17 and I have never been to a party, been kissed, been in love. I know I am still so young but I can't shake this feeling that I am watching my life go by and I am wasting it. I crave so badly a close group of friends, a boyfriend; not because I want to fit in but because I want to feel loved and less alone. I see people around me living freely, content in their friendship groups - out exploring the world. Yet I sit in my room alone, watching shows about the experiences I wish I were having. I want to go to parties, dance with friends under the stars, be kissed, experience love and heartbreak... I think I just want to feel truely alive. I am just so tired of being me and living my life the way I am. Constantly anxious, living on high alert and never having experienced a moment of absolute, pure peace and happiness. What does something life that even feel like? I finish high school next year and I have no idea what I want to do. I keep trying to convince myself that once I leave high school and enter the "big wide world" I will find my place and my people. But what if I don't? What if I have closed myself off so much that Its all I know how to do and I live my entire life never experiencing life biggest moments. When I look at my life, the experiences I have had; I feel exhausted, lost and most of all alone. I hope that at least one person reading this feels the same way; not because I would wish this on anyone but because In doing so I hope to make us both feel less alone. So if you read this and relate in some way respond - share how you feel and know your not alone.

Mads_ I don't know what to think
  • replies: 1

Hi, I have no idea what's going on with me. Ive become disinterested in everything. school used to be so enjoyable, and now I cant stand it, yet I also cant stand going home. there's nothing going on at home, I have the best parents ever, but I just ... View more

Hi, I have no idea what's going on with me. Ive become disinterested in everything. school used to be so enjoyable, and now I cant stand it, yet I also cant stand going home. there's nothing going on at home, I have the best parents ever, but I just hate the idea of having to speak to them. My grades and concentration is slipping and Im getting sick and run down a lot, but I cant miss any school or ill fall behind. Im getting so worn out because one minute I feel happy and fine, and the next I feel really down, and cant focus. I've been eating so much to the point that feel uncomfortable, but I cant seem to stop it no matter how hard I try. My friend just went into hospital for anorexia, and I'm trying to make her feel better as well. I just feel as though I need to make everyone around me happy and care for them, but I cant even be happy or take care of myself. Does anyone know why I might be feeling like this? any personal experience that I may be able to relate to? Thanks.

safesin Irritated by everyone.
  • replies: 2

Lately I've been extremely angry and irritated, not by just people but a lot of things as well. When I'm chilling doing my own thing and someone comes to engage in a conversation with me, I instantly get angry and irritated, like I absolutely hate co... View more

Lately I've been extremely angry and irritated, not by just people but a lot of things as well. When I'm chilling doing my own thing and someone comes to engage in a conversation with me, I instantly get angry and irritated, like I absolutely hate conversing with them. This happens with friends, family and even my gf. I really don't know why but it just like I'm sick of talking to anybody and I just want to stick to myself without any interruptions

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