Where to from here?

[lostgirl13]

My life is a mess..

Over the summer holidays my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, it was sudden and I really didn't see it coming. Everyone said it was "good timing" because a week later I was headed to Europe to complete an internship for my current bachelors degree. To be honest, it did feel like a good thing at the time, I had a great time whilst I was away and met so many great new people and formed new friendships.

I've been back home now for 3 weeks and all I can think about is being away again, it's been hard to come back to uni and face everything that happened before I went away. I feel like I'm just trying to live as if I am still away and have made some pretty concrete plans to go back to Europe and rekindle my friendships once I graduate. I feel like I might be in denial about how I'm feeling but I don't really know how to address it. For now I'm just feeling really down and without purpose, the end of the year feels like a lifetime away and I find I'm just wishing away my time - I don't like it.

I'm coping by stress eating and going out on the weekends, but this is making me feel worse because I'm gaining weight and feeling negative about my body image. Also, I'm spending too much money trying to make myself feel better when I need to be saving if I want to go away again. I'm just in such a negative place right now and I don't know how to deal with it.

I feel so lost, can someone help?

[PamelaR]

Hi Lostgirl and warm welcome to our forums

Life certainly sounds difficult for you at the moment. Breakups are always hard and I've found them to leave me grieving for some time. Do you feel like that?

The grieving process takes time, it isn't easy and can make you feel really off. But it's okay to grieve, that is a normal part of life and things do change.

There is a forum under the People Like Me category, Grief and Loss. Have you had a look through there for people experiencing similar situations or searched our forums using the search field at the top of the page?

I can relate to how you are feeling. Though something I've learnt over time is - moving and/or leaving don't fix the things that you are experiencing. Think about seeing a counsellor (e.g. psychologist) if you haven't already done so. I've always found it really good to have someone to talk to who isn't part of my life. They offer a perspective that can be quite different and open up new opportunities.

Hope some of this helps Lostgirl. Remember, you're not alone and what you are experiencing is normal.

Kind regards

PamelaR