a decision on leaving highschool

[am31ia]

I haven’t really thought too much about this but I wanted to see if anyone had any advice or opinions 🙂 It’s quite a privileged problem but I thought this might be helpful. I’m in my final year of year 12, and just a little bit under halfway through but I’m seriously considering leaving (possibly recommending travelling or starting tafe or restarting my final year next year as I skipped a grade earlier on). at the end of yr 10 I got a depression diagnosis with a fun side of panic disorder and for the remainder of that year and all throughout year eleven I began to struggle with school work for the first time. I was pretty irresponsible with my meds and other self medicating, and even though this year I should be in a much better place, having moved away from that situation, it’s sort of worse than ever. I still get good grades and my teachers are constantly begging me to try - but I do, in deadline sense periods I feel like I barely sleep let alone rest. the last few exams I did where abysmal and I keep missing assignment deadlines (the last two were almost by a week). this morning I missed another one and my motivation and focus and frankly ability is going totally down the drain. maybe the system just isn’t compatible for whatever is going on in my brain.

At the same time, I really care about education and I love learning. I am lucky enough to go to a pretty academically rigorous priv school, and so I would also be wasting my parents struggle to pay for those fees (but I guess getting worse than I already am + flunking even more would be wasting it too). I guess it might be stupid to give up now, but everything feels insurmountable and I feel like I don’t have care left to do the reading and writing and creating that is actually where I learn most. My diagnosis and meds are all still in the air and iv been constantly switching concoctions, but still no real effect apart from constant fatigue and nausea. Mood-wise I only get those small iotas of serotonin when I’m ignoring school but then it puts me more behind = more freak out!

Sorry for the all about me rambling! ❤️

Hope you all have a nice day!!!

[smallwolf]

Hello.

Firstly, it's OK to ramble. 🙂 Can sometimes find what you are looking for, or getting thoughts out of your head.

I can understand how difficult it must be for you to navigate through this situation. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot and trying your best to balance your mental health and academic responsibilities. It's okay to feel overwhelmed and uncertain about what to do next. It's important to prioritize your well-being and seek the support you need. Have you considered talking to a school counselor or therapist about your struggles? They may be able to provide you with coping strategies and support as you make decisions about your education.

Remember that it's never too late to make a change and prioritize your health. 

Also... we each have our own paths. I know some people from the school I went to who repeated year 12. I didn't do well in the last years and went to TAFE. People who dropped out of university for a variety of reasons. Take things one step at a time and be gentle with yourself.