15 year old daughter help
welvome to the forum. Thanks for your post but it must have been so hard to write, As parents we want our children to have friends and be happy.want to protect them from being hurt.
Teenagers can be cruel to each other.
when I was 12 and in year 7 I was in a small group and one day they told me I was not part of the group. I had no other friends as everyone was in groups. I was so sad .
I met one of the girls from the group on FB and she had no memory of me being kicked out of the groups but said girls can be cruel. Apparently a year later the group broke up
Decades later I still think about not being part of the friendship group but everyone has forgotten.
You are being supportive and helpful . Teenagers all have their own problems and insecurities and maybe don’t have the maturity if your daughter.
I am glad she has support at school. Yiu are listening and acknowledging her sadness and taking her tears seriously. You had the insight to get her to expand her friendship groups.
You need to look after yourself as it can be tiring. supporting your daughter.
Do you have some one you can talk to.
it is so hard to see our children whether they are teenagers or adults suffering because how others treat them unfairly.
Your daughter is lucky to have you as such a supportive and informed mum.
79bec thanks for using your first post to reply to some one else. Welcome to the forum.
Hello. I've only recently graduated high school so hopefully I can help with a bit of insight.
It's not surprising to realise that empathy sadly isn't innate in everyone, and is something that can radically grow with life experience. But more than that, mental health struggles are still heavily stigmatised, and misunderstood by people my age. Combine this with immaturity and high school, and you have a picture of someone 'only being attention seeking', or 'having a sook'. It's really rough.
From my experience in friendships, I'm lucky enough to have a pretty good understanding of how complex mental health struggles are. My best friend would feel dismissed in my friend group, because she would blame her rude behaviour to others on her mental health struggles which would really put people off. While she was struggling with her mental health at the time, in no way could this justify her behaviour, and she rarely took accountability for this.
In every young persons life, they will have more forgiving and understanding friends that are genuine, and others that are flat out cruel. But I think it comes down to perspective, from what it sounds like, your daughter doesn't have the kind of friends that would have the compassion to understand where she's coming from - this could be cruel, or it could be naivety and immaturity and they're perceiving that she's selfish.
If in any case your daughter has said something in the wrong way that have made her friends do this - being rejected the way she has is in no way her fault, and she deserves a whole lot better, friends who are understanding and compassionate. Remind her that not everyone is compatible, and that what her friends have done reflect infinitely on them, not her or her anxiety. I hope that they have the hearts to work it out with each other and are mature enough to take accountability. And if this isn't the case, then she is much better off finding new friendships and salvaging the ones that are worth it from the group.
Your daughter is only young, I've had counselling and treatment at 15 and it was very helpful for me. Please remind her that being excluded is just an awful part of high school, it doesn't reflect on her mental health struggles, and there is absolutely nothing 'wrong' with her.
You're an amazing parent for coming on here to discuss this, and it really seems like your daughter has an amazing support system and will move down a much better path.
I'm wishing you and her my best, Bella