Where do I start...

Maryjane93 · ‎06-06-2017

Hi all,

Just joined the community, hoping to talk to people who are going through similar issues. Ive been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was 17. I am now 24 and have recently suffered a breakdown. I got fired from my job a couple of months ago and I feel like thats what triggered it. At the moment I think my anxiety is worse than my depression. It's gotten so bad that Ive found myself worrying about worrying, and I know it's stupid but it's so hard not to. Weaning off one medication at the moment and am going to start on a different one in a few days. Wish me luck!

romantic_thi3f · ‎07-06-2017

Hi Maryjane93,

Welcome to the forums! and to answer your question (in the title) you've just started!

It sounds like you've been having a tough time lately with getting fired and I'm sorry that you recently had a breakdown. It sounds like maybe since you're changing medication you've been in touch with a GP or Psychiatrist? I hope that they are helpful too -

Worrying about worrying is absolutely not stupid and we all do it (well, most of us I think). That's kind of the problem with anxiety - it can be a bit of an awful cycle to be in. Are there any techniques that help you when the worrying gets a bit much?

Feel free to post or as much or as little as you like here. We also have specific threads that might be helpful to you like the one on depression, the one on anxiety or the one for young people -

You can navigate them from here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums

I hope that you enjoy being here. Good luck on the medication and I hope it works for you!

MsPurple · ‎07-06-2017

HI Maryjane and welcome to the forums.

I was in a similar boat to you. I was struggling with depression and anxiety from when I was a teenager (similar age to you) but I didn't wanna accept I may have depression. I didn't know what anxiety really was. I thought it was just stress or some worries. I didn't realise all my symptoms were caused by anxiety. It was until the symptoms got so bad and my head got so bad that I decided to get help. It was the best thing I did. I also worried about worrying because I knew if I worried my anxiety got worse. It is normal to have these concerns. A way I felt better about it is to think I am like Harry Potter. He feared fear because he was scared of dementors and they showed you your worst fear. Ok sorry for the nerd out. I also had to swap medications last year and I was super nervous. But I trusted my psychiatrist and my psychologist. With their support I was ok. You get through it. For me and my team swapping was the best decision. I am glad I stuck with it.

I just want to you know you are not alone and you will get through this tough time. For me during this time I read some of my favourite books, watched happy movies, did some meditation. I also tried to make sure I was looking after myself. I tried to exercise (by walking 30 minutes a day) and eat 2 serves of fruit and 3-5 serves of vegetables a day. Hope this helps. You are strong. Thank you for sharing

Starwolf · ‎07-06-2017

Good to meet you Maryjane.

Being fired from your job does of course pull the carpet from under the feet. You say you have had long-term depression and anxiety. Did this contribute to losing employment ?

It is difficult to gauge personal situation on a basis of a few lines so I can't say anything that could help at this point in time. However, well done for being proactive and reaching out. It takes courage. You have come to the right place.

Worrying about worrying is a vicious circle many of us can relate to...mental conditions bypass reason and logic. Being caught in the current doesn't make sense but it is what happens. It sounds like you have been discussing a change of medication with your prescribing doctor. It will take a while for effects to kick in.

Meanwhile, have you checked coping strategies for anxiety ? Relaxed Breathing, Relaxed Body Scan, Mindfulness for example. Smiling Mind and Buddhify are useful apps. MindSpot and MoodGym may also help.

I hope you will continue to talk with us, may it be to connect, share or let off steam. Rest assured you will be heard and understood.

Good to have you on board.

Maryjane93 · ‎07-06-2017

Thank you for the reply!

Its really comforting to know that you have been through similar things and have gotten better. I often get stuck thinking that I'll always be like this and things won't improve. But I know that's not true.

Im going to try to make more of an effort to look after myself. I know exercise and meditation do help me but ive been lazy and haven't been keeping up with it.

Your words definately helped :). I'm going to stay strong and keep hanging in there

Maryjane93 · ‎07-06-2017

Thank you for the welcome,

Ive just started seeing a psychiatrist, who seems really lovely. My family gp was also really helpful with getting me into the psychiatrist quickly. I'm scared of the side effects of the new meds though. The last time I tried them they made me feel really nauseous and suicidal. But I've been told that things may feel worse before they feel better, so I'm trying to keep that in mind.

When the worrying gets overwhelming I think exercise and seeing friends seems to help. I need to push myself more to do those things when I'm feeling really bad.

Its nice to know I can get support on here and im glad I joined 🙂

Maryjane93 · ‎07-06-2017

Hi starwolf,

I think my anxiety did contribute to me losing my job. When I was overwhelmed with anxious thoughts I would often find it hard to concentrate. I think it also held me back from speaking up about being picked on by other staff.

I will have a look at the apps and see how I go. Thank you you the advice 🙂

geoff · ‎08-06-2017

hello Maryjane, it's awful feeling like this, because all of us have been through it ourselves and even now it could still be happening, so depression and anxiety are two very powerful parts to MI.
You're lost your job which I'm so sorry, but it may not be for any reason except that the company was cutting down on staff, and it can become quite confusing as to whether your anxiety is stronger than your depression, as it can often change from day to day, and certainly coming off one medication to start another one is a time which is very stressful.
I'm sorry, but money is a curse, but we all have to have it, however is it possible to get government payments at the moment, because to try and find a new job right now, may not be the best idea, because you aren't feeling well, so your performance will not be as how you would want it to be, wait until the new medication kicks in, then, we hope you will be feeling much better. Geoff.