what's wrong with me?

[aydee]

can someone tell me why i'm like this? so for the past year iv'e been having massive outbursts of anger, it happens every three weeks or so, but it isn't normal anger.. I blow up over little things, but when it happens it feels like someone is controlling me, when the argument dies down I feel this need where I have to keep going, I can't help it, I can't stop myself. I go ballistic, screaming, crying ect. I scare my family and I scare myself. i'm so impulsive ill do anything when im angry I don't think or care about consequences, iv'e gotten in trouble by the police because of it. its an uncontrollable rage I can't seem how to properly describe it. I don't want to be like this anymore, its tearing my relationships in half but I can't seem to help it.

[Sophie_M]

Hey aydee,

Wishing you a warm welcome to the forums. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are so glad that you have reached out here tonight. We are so sorry to hear what you've been going through. We can hear how upset and frustrated you must be feeling, but please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space and our community is here to support you through this difficult time.

If you feel up to it, we'd also encourage you to reach out to our friends at Kids Helpline. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under, and are available 24/7 by phone (1800 55 1800) and online chat: https://kidshelpline.com.au/ One of the friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals to help you through this difficult time. You can also get in touch with our Support Service anytime by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. 

You are not alone here, and we hope that you keep us updated on how you're going whenever you feel ready.

[Croix]

Dear Aydee~

I'd like to join Sophie_M in welcoming you here -she does give good advice and her links are excellent.

I guess there is a lot to feel encouraged about, even though at present things are frightening and seem to have no reason. To know one is likely to lose control is very scary indeed.

The first thing is it has been year, not you whole life, so there is a cause that changed -and of course may be changed beck if treated properly

The second thing is you basically sensible, value your relationships, and understand there is something wrong, you do not just write it off as bad temper but realise such over the top behavior is a real problem.

Third you have take the first step in getting matter made better, by coming here. That in itself must have been very daunting. But that is behind you now.

I would expect the Kids Help Line chat or any of the other links may say to you that you might need some medical help at the moment. I did and once it was under way matters improved a lot. Before I simply go worse.

Do you think you can ask your family to take you to a GP to say what has been happening and see if you can be diagnosed, either for somethng physical or psychological? Once the problem is known the correct treated can begin.

Do you think that's a plan?

Croix