Hi James, welcome to the forum. You don't sound old to me mate ... I'm 54. 😀
Oh, I understand those feelings, especially the dullness that doesn't seem to end. No pleasure in life, time passes slowly, the pretense of everything being OK. You're not alone in that James, many many of us here understand and have experienced similar ourselves.
May I ask about medication? I know that feeling of brain fog too - it's a common side effect of some antidepressants. But not all - have you and your doctor tried different ones? Sometimes we need to try a few before the right one presents itself.
I wonder too if you've had any talking therapy with a psychologist? You might know this being in the health professions, but you are able to get a mental health plan through your doctor that will give you up to 10 subsidised visits to a psych.
Do you think your work affects your mood? I can imagine that for some people aged and palliative care would be a beautiful experience, but for others (me I suspect), it could become very sad and full of grief.
Lots of questions sorry, but I hope we can get to know you better. Please know this is a very supportive and safe place to talk. And we care about you, as we care about everyone who's a fellow traveller.
Best wishes to you James. Hope we can talk soon.
Kaz
