Hey, I may be new to BeyondBlue, but definitely not new to anxiety/depression. I’m currently 25 years old and first experienced depression in grade 9 due to negative thoughts and minor bullying.
At the moment I am in my 2nd year of nursing, working a permanent part time position at a hospital, studying full time and on top of that, having to step up and be a step mum every two weeks for the whole week to my partners son. I have been calling in sick quite a bit lately due to constantly getting whatever is going around the town, and work isn’t happy about it at the moment. I always feel horrible calling in sick, but the few times I went to work sick, I just felt more drained afterwards.
Last night I woke up early in the morning having a mini anxiety attack and couldn’t go back to sleep. I’m not enjoying nursing anymore, I’m struggling to keep up with my uni work, doing odd hours at work and looking after a child. I am starting to feel like a failure and it just makes the anxiety attacks worse. I look at my siblings and they seem to be on top with their careers, married, travelling, so forth, and I’m scared to pull out of nursing to try something else, as this would be another change down the line of careers or study I’ve tried over the years. I don’t want to be the girl who “just keeps changing jobs”. But I’m so tired of being mentally and physically ill all the time. I use to be active and exercising 5-6 days a week and eating well, where now I maybe exercise twice a week and either don’t eat or just eat non stop. I’m also scared to talk to my partner about it as he would say he’s always stressed and doesn’t like his job either but still manages to go. We bought a house not long ago, and I just don’t want to add to his stress if I’m not contributing my share in the payments or bills.
I feel to ashamed to seek professional help as I feel like my problems are just silly. But I’m at the stage where I just want to give up.
Welcome to Beyond Blue forums and thank you for joining us here today. We are so glad you took the brave step of reaching out here and sharing what you are going through. We can hear how exhausted and overwhelmed you are feeling these days. You have a lot on your plate with studying nursing, parenting and working all at the same time. We can totally understand why you are feeling like you might be drowning under the weight of all of this. It is good you do call in sick when you're not feeling well because your body needs to rest.
You mentioned you are scared of talking to your partner about the anxiety and the pressure you are experiencing. Have you ever brought this up before with him? Is there a reason why you believe he won't be able to empathise with your situation? Your health and well being is the most important thing and it is imperative that you find ways to take care of yourself. Reaching out here is great. Are you also seeing a counselor or can you talk to your GP for advice?
We'd also really encourage you to contact our Support Service anytime at 1300 224 636 and they also have an online chat option: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support (1pm - 12am).
Please know that there are resources and support available to you so that you can talk to someone about what you are feeling so that it can alleviate some of the distress and create a space where you can look at your situation from an angle of highest self-care which can then allow you to come up with solutions and actions.
Please keep posting here. This is a safe, non-judgmental space and we'd love to hear how you're doing, whenever you feel up to it.
Hi Kat - ie,
Wellcome to our forums!
Sorry you are feeling this way.
Please start by being kind to yourself your a remarkable person and are taking on a lot, it’s ok to give yourself some self love.
I understand anxiety I used to suffer with severe anxiety OCD, I’ve now recovered thanks to the help of health professionals.
If you are no longer enjoying nursing anymore it’s ok to accept that….. maybe you could take a break from it and try something new?
Please fill your mind with positive thoughts….. tell yourself great things about yourself….. you are far from a failure maybe tell yourself I’m still growing and learning as a person I know I’m going to make it in what ever I choose to do….
Maybe speaking to your partner will help? We can’t truly know what others are going to say or think….. maybe he will understand?
Please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to seek professional help…. professionals are there to help us and they could help you with many aspects of your life….. You can learn to see new perspectives and learn to see every thing in a positive light……
You could make an appointment with your gp and do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist…….. your worth it!
Im here to chat
You're very welcome here.
I can tell that you have very high self-awareness, which is obviously a strength.
Yes it is a big decision to change your career, especially when you have walked a long way on this road. And it is scary to pull back. I would suggest you to take a break first. Is it possible to take an annual leave, or at least plan for it? Your current stress is caused by a mixture of several factors, and you need to have time to organize your thoughts. You need to talk to yourself if you really hate being a nurse and want to end it. Also try to have discussion with trusted advisors, your mentor if you have one, your family, your close friends, but you're the final decision maker.
Even you decide not to work as a nurse anymore, it doesn't mean you need to resign from a hospital. You can explore other opportunities, for example, HR,,administrative or other supportive jobs in the hospital, it's much easier to have a smoother switch and more likely to avoid financial uncertainty.
Don't be scared to talk about the career topic with your partner. You two need to support each other. If you both decide to change career, to be more realistic, you can plan not to change at the same time, to minimize the risk. And I believe supporting each other to overcome hard periods will strengthen your relationship.
Your problems are not silly at all, don't hesitate to seek any help you feel need. We're here to help and maybe one day we'll need your help and suggestions.