The last 12 months

[RescueKitty]

Hi! I'm turning 29, and the last 12 months have been difficult. 

It started when my aunty died, she was more of a mum to me than my actual mother. Her heart and lungs slowly deteriorated, was admitted and discharged from hospital repeatedly as she would refuse to stay in hospital. She eventually passed away, in her home...alone. I carry so much guilt about not being there for her enough in the end.

Two months after her death I injured my back at work. A bulged disc in my L5 pressing on my sciatic nerve causing tingling and numbness in my legs, incredibly painful. After months of physio and a cortisone spinal injection a neurosurgeon performed spinal surgery and I was unable to work for 2 months. I recently returned to work, but I'm not back fulltime or at full physical capacity yet. I often have feelings of uselessness as there's been so much I've been unable to do and feel like a burden. 

Unsupportive co-workers make this even more challenging. One staff member in particular that has always had a disliking for me. She has made continuous complaints about me and my work, often gossiping with other staff about why I can't do certain tasks and I'm lying and faking it.

One situation was when the staff member asked our manager to have me removed from the office as she was CSO that day and I had no reason to be present in office. My manager told her I was doing paperwork relating to my back injury and to focus on her own work. She later complained about why I could still take photos of the animals but could not lift and take out the heavy garbage bags to the big skin bins. She has even made complaints of me bullying her, other staff members supported me and told upper management that they were present and things did not go the way she had reported. I feel like she's unfairly targeting and harassing me in attempt to get me fired. Multiple other staff have reported her repeatedly for bullying & raised concerns regarding her work ethic.

I love animals and am lucky enough to have a career working with them, I love my job. She won't drive me away from a job I love, but I feel stuck in a bad situation with her that will continue to get worse. 

My Aunty was my go to support person in times of need, without her I'm a little lost. Animals bring me joy and my pet cat is a big support for me. I often cry into his fur as I listen to his soothing purrs. 

Well that's been me for the last 12 months. Feels nice to write it all out and hope that someone else out there is listening. 

[quirkywords]

Rescuekitty

i am glad you had a close relationship with your aunty and am sorry she died. Grief is a long oricess. Ihooe you remember the close times you shared.

you had had a challenging year  having surgery and then a colleague bullying you. 

I am glad you have a pet . Animals can help us. 
You are not alone and we are listening. 

[RosieA]

Hi Rescuekitty,

I can relate to some of the issues you've faced over the last year. My mum passed away last year after years of various health issues. (She was 89.) She was admitted to hospital with kidney and lung issues that required opposite forms of treatment. Unfortunately, she had a fall there and broke her hip.

She was already dealing with other pain issues so she really struggled to start walking again. In the end, she reached a stage where her body couldn't fight on so many fronts any more. My Dad, siblings and I, along with our extended family were all heartbroken and we're still trying to get through that in our own ways.

I've also had spinal surgery. Mine was a fusion at L4/5 level as L4 had slipped forward over L5 and the disc between had worn out. I've been working part-time from home for years due to having rheumatoid arthritis and ankylosing spondylitis (a form of autoimmune arthritis). Before that, I needed to adapt the type of work I did and how I did it, so I can understand that part as well.

It's great that your employer is supportive of you overall, However, it sounds like they could do much better in terms of handling the bullying from your colleague. I'd look at the information on the Australian Government's Job Access and Fair Work Ombudsman's websites to help you with your next steps.

You might also find it helpful to seek support through online or in-person peer support groups for any of these issues. Other options include seeking some counselling, talking to your employer about accessing the Employee Assistance Program and looking at Beyond Blue's Mental Health and Work section.

I hope you find these tips helpful and that your situation improves.