Struggling

[BillyBob23]

Hi all,

I'm not sure if I've come to the right place but needed to get a few things off my chest. I work full time which keeps me busy but as I get older. I feel like I'm losing grips on clarity for the future and fear of the unknown. I have been feeling this way for many years and this causes anxiety. I'm happily married but my wife travels to visit her family overseas twice per year so I find myself bored and going back to do things I did when I was single. Drinking and gambling to escape reality and for excitement and escape boredom. I have moved interstate so I have no close friends or family here either. Then I feel guilty and ashamed. And sometimes question my actions and feelings.

I may sound ungrateful but I'm curious if anyone has gone through something similar?

Thank you.

[blondguy]

Hello Billybob23

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post too!

You are alone with what you are going through Billybob. The boredom can be a serious pain for sure.

I understand you as I have had anxiety for many years now and its an awful place to be in.

You are very strong by posting from the heart.....thats a huge sign of inner strength. You mentioned that you are happily married. I would find it somewhat difficult if my partner (I dont have one) went overseas to visit her family as I would feel uncomfortable.

Losing our 'clarity' can also be a major pain too. May I ask if you and your wife communicate reasonably well?

Thankyou for being a part of the 'forum family' Billy 🙂

I hope you can post back when its convenient for you......There are many gentle people that can be here for you. The forums are a safe and judgement free place for you

My kind thoughts

Paul

[BillyBob23]

Hi Paul,

Thank you for your response, and its comforting to know that I'm not the only one with these feelings and emotions. To come to a place where there are no judgements is a good feeling also.

Yes my wife and I communicate daily even though the time zones are different, but it works well. There needs to be a certain understanding when marrying someone from another country and part of that is that person has to travel and visit their family and friends.

But with this also comes seclusion and loneliness, and the struggle to fight against the mind to stay strong and not succumb to a past not wanted. That has always been my challenge.

It's also my wish to grow stronger for myself and also for those around me and be someone to look up to.

Time will tell.

Thank you.

[blondguy]

Thankyou for posting back Billy

My brother married a girl from another country and she frequently travels back to see her family and I can see the change in him when he is left alone.....and I know he is hurting

If its okay I would like to say that you are an amazing person by starting up your own thread here. It took me weeks to even contemplate writing my own thread just over two years ago. I just didnt have the strength you possess

I am on the forums after being made redundant in early 2016 in my 50's...and I know its just a career but I was devastated and have come across so many kind people here on the forums

May I ask if you have a GP that you can visit and have a vent too? (I still see my GP every 4 weeks for a fine tune after many years of anxiety/depression)

I look up to you already Billy...seriously. Thankyou again for being a part of the forum family

My Best

Paul

[BillyBob23]

Hi Paul,

Thank you for your kind words.

No I'm not seeing a GP currently, but I did years ago when my ex suffered with depression and she dragged me down with her. I have thought it about it again but not ready to do that again just yet. To me it seems so methodical and clinical the experience I had and I felt like a child with my psychologist just nodding their head trying to sympathise with my cause. I'm sure this isn't the case with all psychologists and I believe they do an amazing job in our society.

Anyway time will tell. Just getting out whats been on my chest has given me a spring in my step since the weekend where I was flat.

Regards

Billy Bob