STRUGGLING & NO IDEA WHERE TO START

[Strugglingtocope81]

Hi all,

I am scared, I have a wife and a 6yr old and I have been struggling with happiness and love for a while now and all I have tried to do is what's best for them. I have forgotten about me clearly.

Have I failed them??

My wife wants to leave and take the little one with her as she believes I need help and she is not happy as my attitude, snipy comments and frustration has taken its toll.

Never been violent but clearly I've messed up along the way and about to lose it all.

Struggling to sleep, anxious and past week even thought about the worst.... how can I expect them to be happy with me when I can't see the light.

Tooday I reached out to GPnas I know I need help and a plan but cant see me Saturday!! I feel the constant pain and sadness over me 24/7.

I even looked today for support groups or meet ups for males in Perth but I can't even find that!

It's just this overwhelming feeling of uselessness and even self petty right now and I have NO idea how to even start to understand or start this process of loss!

The family are still here but different rooms and all I want is to show my family how good a dad and husband I can be...

Or am I just destined to fail like everything else I do!

[Strugglingtocope81]

Many thanks to you all for your kind & supportive words.

I went to see the GP and the first steps in putting my mental health plan. It was daunting and even looked for an excuse not to go this morning but I did.

Home life is not great either, the wife and I are struggling, last night I even tried to show affection to show my love and spontaneous behaviour only to be totally shot down which was really hard as sort of showed me we were at that stage for the 1st time.

I will be reaching out today / tomorrow to the recommended people that the Dr gave me as he decided against medication right now and wants me to open up and talk

Struggling to switch off the bad thoughts and worrying thoughts and anxiety is really hitting harder still.

I guess one road at a time ans hope it won't be long to see someone. I've even struggled to even talk to anyone this week except on here...I just don't know how to start a chat with beyond Blue if they call or anyone. Shame / embarrassed are to words that ring load for me right now

Tim

[Petal22]

Hi Tim,

That’s ok happy to support you 😊

Well done for doing your mental health plan it’s a great step in the right direction.

I’m sorry yourself and your wife are struggling… just give it time……. Time heals all wounds.

Im sorry that your thoughts and anxiety are hitting hard I understand this is difficult to deal with.

Where you able to open up to your gp and tell your gp the type of thoughts you are experiencing?

Please don’t feel embarrassed Tim mental health conditions really can affect anyone and it’s not your fault.

Keep pushing forward on the road ahead. I know it may seem hard now but once you travel it the view at the end of it will be amazing 💪

Here to chat

[Banksy92]

Sounds like you're moving in the right direction Tim, and while I know right now things are different and hard, know that it does get better and you become stronger when you take the steps you are taking. Opening up and talking about what you're going through with a professional will help tremendously, just give it time.

Don't feel as though you need to rush the process either, if you aren't sure what to say they can help to guide you at a pace you are comfortable with.

Im glad you feel able to express how you're feeling on this thread -would it also be help to write down a few notes to use in your first session or if you want to call a help line? Journaling can be a construction way to process thoughts and feelings. But if that's not your jam, simple bullet points can still help.

Let us know how you go.

[Strugglingtocope81]

Hi Banksy92,

Tough tough week ive been waiting to hear from the 3 psychologists that I got referred too and I thought to myself "I'll be ok till I hear form them"

It's now closed myself off further and it's clear to see that I've lost my wife and no coming back from that. I'm really struggling to actually talk to someone as I don't know how I can face all the craziness. I've not spoken to BB at all as it's a real mental struggle to accept the help..

I've just tried to see if I can get into my doctor (doesn't really matter as its a 13 day wait to book to see him for next appointment, so to be not having him to see me is a kick in the face as he said i can see him again and talk if needed) so just another person I opened up too in the start of this process but I'm left to deal with it alone again! As im not really sleeping probably 2 or 3hrs a night and he decided no medications at all just taking first but this is a daily / nightly nightmare at the moment. My thoughts and deep deep feeling of pointlessness is kicking in.

Im struggling to actually get stuff done and to get out of bed but I guess thats ok.

I just wonder if this is the new normal and I just gave to such it up and push it to the side!!

Sorry for the lack of posts and now this but I had to get it out of my head and out

[Banksy92]

Hi strugglingtocope81

It's good to hear from you, though I'm sorry to hear it's been such a difficult battle recently. Waiting for availability of doctors is one of the most frustrating experiences. I can really empathize with your struggle here. It feels as though for years our healthcare system has been overloaded and often when we need it most we cannot access basic support. Hang in there.

I understand it's difficult to open up and accept help, but I do encourage you to pick up the phone and try speaking with BB helpline if you're feeling as though you need some support in the meantime. You don't have to explain your whole story if you don't want to, maybe you just work through one aspect of how you're feeling?

We are always here on the threads too, it can sometimes help to just put all of your thoughts and ideas into writing, just to get it out of your head.

The lack of sleep would definitely be catching up on you as well. Have you ever tried guided meditation or deep breathing techniques? Slow deep breathing can really help to calm the nervous system, reduce stress and improve sleep. Maybe try something like this track next time you head to bed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZFGiDHLGGo

I find these types of techniques really helpful when I'm anxious or upset.

Let us know how you're going when you can, thinking of you.