Old Guy Anxiety

[Hagrath]

Hello one and all, first time trying a forum don't really no what to expect but sometimes you just got to try, I've sold my house and moving to Tasmania but cant find a house to buy and am forced to pay an indecent amount to rent while I continue to my search. But before I leave I have been hit with severe anxiety with lot of what if questions, regrets in selling, Pets to relocate, poor sleep etc etc, My wife has a chronic illness and as such wants to move closer to our son but I am so anxious with fast heart beat, sweating, nausea and lack of sleep. So there's my brief intro I'm very stressed at the moment so sorry for rambling.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Hagrath, Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members. This is a safe space to share and express your own feelings, struggles and experiences without judgement.

Regards
Sophie M

[Hagrath]

Thanks Sophie, Thanks for the prompt welcome, i've just discovered the on line chat getting some relaxation hints so joining is good thanks

[Amelia02]

Welcome Hagrath. It probably helps to know you are amongst company dealing with anxiety. I’m sure things will work out for you soon enough but using tips for anxiety is a great idea. Take care, A

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Hagrath,

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums...Please don’t be sorry at all....your not rambling at all... your hurting right now and your reaching out for some support and help...which can be very hard to do...so well done..

My brother (64yrs old) sold his house in December last year in NSW and decided he wanted a home in top of Queensland....He left NSW on the 29th December 2021 and with his large dog drove to Cairns in his van, looking for a place to call home...

He lived in caravan parks for nearly 3 months, no family or friends just him and his dog...and lots and lots of rain...

Just 2 weeks ago, he rang me to tell me that he just moved into his forever home...The sound in his voice told me that he was now so happy....and I’m so happy for him....sad for me that he is moving so far away...

A few times when he rang me, while he was in caravan parks, he started having a panic attack, fast heartbeat, sweaty, shaking, chest pains...

I struggle with panic attacks quite a bit and I gently suggested to him to,,,,,Take some deep breaths and refocus his mind onto something that will keep his mind busy and away from what’s happening to him through this attack ...it does help most times...

One thing that I do a lot is to sing a long to a song I know...it helps distract my mind away from my body..Also I do like to listen to some gentle sleepy stories as well as guided meditation...both of these are found on YouTube.

I hope it’s okay, if I gently suggest to you...that maybe reaching out to a Dr..where you are and explaining to them how your feeling and about your panic attacks....Right now you have so much going on in your life and like my brother, you’re probably feeling a bit scared of your new surroundings and everything that needs doing when you find a house to buy.... it will happen..,you will find one that suits you....

Keep your hope alive and believe in yourself that things will work out for you..

In the mean time Dear Hagrath, keep talking here when you feel up to it...we are all here to help you the best we can...

My kindest thoughts with my care..

Grandy..

[geoff]

Hello Hagrath, it's obvious when someone posts their first comment to feel as though they are 'rambling' but you're not, and being stressed can cause this to happen.

It can be frightening selling your home, whether it will be sold at the price you actually want, days of settlement and being able to move where you want to go.

There can always be some disharmony in selling, packing up, throwing out what you don't need anymore and making sure your pets are also ok.

Moving closer to your son will appease your wife who is suffering from an illness, but try not to buy another house just because it's cheaper than renting, you may regret it later on, and if you need to rent, do it on a short lease and don't unpack all your belongings, only because you will have to pack them up again when you purchase another property.

Geoff.

[blondguy]

Hello Hagrath

Thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue forum family...and taking the time to post as well as you have

I understand your anxiety symptoms...These are very common yet awful to experience. I have had the same horrible symptoms since the early 1980's.

Its only my humble opinion Hagrath.....With all due respect for your wife's chronic illness and understandable desire to see your son in Tasmania....Your health is paramount

There are many super helpful posts above...From my own life experience Geoff has made a good point about not purchasing a new home at this time (especially with these awful symptoms)

Talking to your GP would be very helpful...I still talk to my doc every few weeks with my anxiety issues...You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by doing so...and thankyou Ggrand above for mentioning this too

any questions are always welcome! There are many kind people on the forums that can be here for you

please be gentle to yourself in this difficult time

Paul

PS: I hope your pets are doing okay too! Do you have dogs..cats?

[kjkj77]

Hi there Hagrath

Selling and relocating is huge. Its understandable your feeling anxious about this.

Sounds like you and your wife are on the same page about this move, so in a sense you have already moved. A move like this needs to be well thought out and requires cognitive projection by imagining different senerios and what it would be like ect. You and your wife have allready done the hard yards mentally /emotionally.

Now its about management. Both your well being and your wifes, Along with the nuts and bolts of the practicalities of the relocation.

Renting is a good option as it gives you flexability. Keep a light foot print while you rent, it can be quite refreshing to have less stuff around. There is something quite soothing and asthestic about minimislm.

House 'hunting' is exactly that! Takes time, can take many months.

I do beleive, weather buying, renting, house sitting....the right house comes along at the right time.

This will be a transformative experience. Its going to be hugely interesting and stimulating for you both.

Keep it all in perspective, and brush up those project management skills.

Regarding self care: keep some every day routines, like the daily walk; personally I walk every evening. Be discrete about who you talk to about this as you dont want to take on other peoples worry. Work towards your project everyday, planning in the morning is good and have definate switch off time at the end of the day.

Keep us posted on this thread.

All the best

[Hagrath]

Thanks All for your kind words,

Went to see my GP, could not get into regular GP, New GP told me just to sweat it out! Not happy went back to the same practice to different GP, started on anxiety medication he was very supportive but I am trying to stick out the side effects, quite bad.

I I feel bad as I will be leaving Victoria for good where I was born and raised and can't help but look back. I am troubled by thoughts of places I will never see or visit again and I will lose contact with the very few friends I have. Chronic illnesses have a way of defining true friends.

I am struggling to stay focused the last few days I have been so impacted that I havent been able to do much and with a deadline looming I can't afford to stop. I think well I am pretty sure I should have got people into pack I am using a self pack shipping container and its a struggle. Got about 5 weeks left to complete, organize pick up 3 Cats (1 old boy) and an old Kelpie x to fly my son will receive them in Tassie and take them to the rental whilst we use the ferry and get there the day after. I worry about the cats they are going from acreage to a suburban house.

Hopefully the ssri's will help. It would be good if only one pill could bring about a change instead of the long process it seems to take.

Thanks again

[blondguy]

Hi Hagrath

You are doing everything possible to make the move to Tasmania as smooth as you can

Regarding the meds....they usually take a few days to 'kick in' and there can be side effects which are common. You have a lot on your plate at the moment....Can I ask (only if thats okay) what anxiety symptoms you have at this time?

We are still here and listening

you are not alone

Paul