So tired of being homeless

[Bush_resident]

So many years I have been homeless. I'm so tired. I can't go to housing as I can't handle towns and cities. If only housing had bush blocks where I could build a shelter and just be me. Trouble is I don't know me,I'm so tired of the hand I've been dealt that I wish I could just stop forever.

[monkey_magic]

Hey there bush resident and welcome to beyond blue. I hope you can keep talking to us because there are people here that care about you.

You said that u don't know you is there a reason why? Did something happen a while back or is it the anxiety?

I hope I can help you get to know yourself a little better by communicating on here.

Homelessness and homeless people' s stories are an interest of mine, I've even started my own post about it in the PTSD/ trauma section and people have recently written to me saying that they had been homeless as well.

You are not alone here OK.

Do you feel like saying how homeless life has been for you? Is there anything information you need from us to help you change your situation to make it better?

[Croix]

Dear Bush resident~

I'll join Steph in welcoming you here. Being homeless is a complete world in itself, different from what most people know and it can be hard explaining and getting understanding. I have never been there but can understand what you say about towns and cities. I live in a small rural town, and that's enough. Born and worked in big cities, not good nowadays, too many people press in, to much to cope with.

My father in law lived in the bush in a one room shack he built himself in the middle of nowhere. I'd visit him with my wife, he lived a different sort of life and just concentrated on essentials. I can understand from knowing him why he lived that way.

Being tired of it all and wishing it would all stop is something I can relate to as I've been there myself. Not knowing who I was and what I was capable of was part of it too When you've been like that for a while remembering who you are fades. A very hard place to get out of by yourself.

I know what helped me, but am unsure what to suggest to you as I don't know your circumstances, it's no use my annoying you by being unrealistic.

Do you think you might like to come back and say more about yourself, how things are at present and what has happened to you in the past to leave you where you are now?

You know you can rung our 24/7 Help Line 1300 22 4636 if you feel overwhelmed by it all, a human voice can be pretty good.

We'd be very pleased if you felt able to come back and talk more

Croix

[Bush_resident]

13 years homeless as for my past, if I voice it I own it. That would tip me over the edge.

[monkey_magic]

Okie dokie bush resident,

Do u stay in contact with others in your situation at all like go to the feeds etc where u can engage with the other homeless? I used to do that.

You've been out there for a long time hey. U def know how to survive mate, good one. Keep chatting if you'd like about anything at all 🙂

[Bush_resident]

There is nobody around. I can go months with no contact. No feed places at all. The thing i hate most is agoraphobia. I really don't like people anymore. Diagnosed PTSD and a lot of other problems. I refuse to take medication as it makes me sleep my life away. Medication for me is not a way to live, its a way to keep the doctor happy. Not me

[monkey_magic]

Fair call bush resident, it makes me sleepy too. I'm guessing you're not in a big city then.

I was tired of sleeping outside in the past as well so I eventually found a room in a boarding house. Centrelink were able to pay the bond and a couple weeks rent. So there are organizations that can help just need to re- locate sometimes.

You could write a book about your skills out there. The bush residents guide to staying alive. It would be interesting. I think a lot of ppl would find your story interesting.

There are a lot of ppl who read these posts so u can connect on here to others. Even write to others that post that way you have some sort of communication.

[monkey_magic]

Also,

Agoraphobia would have to be a tough thing. And humans can be weird. What about animals and nature? Do u like the animal kingdom? But then that can be wild as well. Do u have a favourite animal? A favourite food?

[Starwolf]

Hi Bush Resident, good to meet you.

Reading your posts made me want to connect with you. I too have known homelessness during long stretches of my life. I now live alone in a remote bush area. Like Croix's father in law, I have a primitive little shack minus the usual mod cons. I can spend weeks without talking to anyone, though I can mingle with crowds if I have to, though not for long periods. But I still wouldn't swap this often harsh, lonesome lifestyle for a place in town !

I too have had a horrid past that ended in PTSD among other things. But over the years, I have worked hard on shelving all traumas (a long list) and rebuilding my shattered core. It is true that owning the past doesn't come easy. However, there is no way we can repair the damage done if we cannot confront it. One tiny morsel at the time is easier to swallow...

This is a safe space to connect or unload some of the overload. I hope you will choose to hang around. I'd like to make better acquaintance.

This is a tough time of year for those who are homeless. Depending on where you live, I hope you can find enough shelter and warmth to get by.

[Bush_resident]

My dog keeps me company. But its not life for a dog either when it was -3 last night. I applied for housing once and they sent me to a block of flats where they were drinking on the walk way at 10am. Im a non practicing alcoholic. They counted it as a refusal of accommodation and kicked me of the list. Asked them not to put me where drinking was going on. I don't ask for much just somewhere to call home away from people. Land here is cheap so I spend a bit on lotto trying to better myself