Single mum feeling empty and lonely

[Guest_4069]

Hi I'm a 42-year-old single mum and feeling very lonely. I'm divorced and recently ended a long term relation ship because my partner could not accept that my son was my priority.  He became more difficult to communicate with and things are very complicated at this stage. I know deep down that he doesn't care about me as much as I care about him. I feel stupid for investing so much into the relationship. I feel like I now have with nothing but I had to ask him to leave. I couldnt be what he wanted. I know I'm a mum so I chose that over my own needs.  At night I feel so lonely but I block out my emotions so they don't consume me because I need to be strong for my son.  I would really like to connect with other single parents. It's so hard doing everything on your own. I keep worrying that I am not giving my son everything he needs in life. Is there anyone else that has experienced something similar?

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums…

I’m sorry you’re feeling so alone…I think you done the right thing, our children are so very precious and rely on us 100% of the time….Putting my children first is something that I didn’t do and even though they are adults with their own families I still regret my decision to stay with their dad….I didn’t have the courage you have….

I am widowed and live alone, night time seems to open our minds to relive our past…I know it does for me…and when that happens I try to distract my thoughts by keeping it busy, I am not a TV person so mostly i do puzzles, chat on here or listen to music…at night when I get into bed, I listen to sleep stories and I do fall asleep with my thoughts in a good place…which I think is important for the start of the next day….

I’m not sure I helped at all, but I wanted to let you know that I care about you, and to also bump your thread onto the front page….There are so many single parents on our forums who also feel lonely…I’m sure they’ll pop in soon to chat to you…you’re not alone dear Tina in your struggles…

Here, when I can be, if you want to talk some more…

My kindest thoughts Tina my care…

Grandy..

[Mark Z.]

Hi,

I'm sorry that I do not have similar experience, but I can tell that you are a great mother. You don't have to feel stupid or guilty at all because you are making every effort you can for your child. And trust me your child loves you and feels grateful.

It must be heart-breaking when a long-terms relationship comes to an end. While it is uncertain when you will meet your Mr right, you do need to take care of your other needs, for example, reallocate your time to your belief, hobbies, exercise and rest. It's time to invest more on yourself and I believe you will shine again.

Mark

[geoff]

Hello your son is your priority and this will even grow stronger as he develops in life, because you love him and care very much for him and any partner if that's what you want has to agree with this, rather than focusing on themselves, and if they are sensible will join you in exactly how you feel.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Guest_4069]

Hello Grandy 

Thank you for your kind words and support. I can tell your a good person.  I think you understand what I am feeling. At night time especially once my son goes to sleep, my mind starts to open up with feelings of regret and anger and sadness. I try and watch tv even reliving the 80’s cartoons because they are a distraction. Sounds a little pathetic but it helps. If I watch drama especially if the plot has a happy family , it really makes me cry. I was even crying the other night when I was watching the Simpsons. My only wish in life was to have a happy family with someone to share it with. I’m not brave for leaving my ex husband. I felt suffocated and he was controlling and sucked the life out of me. I think I reached the breaking point so had to leave or I would die 😞

[Guest_4069]

Hello Mark

Thanks for the support, it means a lot. I don’t think people realise how powerful words can be. I try my best but it’s not easy and there are times when I am faced with regret but I try and focus on what I have and not what I don’t. I think I’m scared that I can’t do it on my own and my son will suffer because of that. I have good and bad days and I think Christmas is even harder to cope with because I feel broken inside. 

[Guest_4069]

Hello Geoff

Thank you. I’m glad you understand. My partner wants to travel and go out and it all of the sudden changed for him. He was okay during the last few years but then he changed and started getting frustrated with the time I devoted to my son. He would make a face when I was tutoring him or when I had to take him to soccer practice. I really tried to fit both parts into my life but sometimes I had to choose and couldn’t do everything to please everyone. It’s just so damn hard to make everyone happy. I was exhausted because it felt like I was dividing myself constantly and most nights I would cry myself to sleep. I really hope I find someone one day because I really am a good person - try to be

i kind have lost hope because people keep letting me down and I’m worried to start a new relationship again. Sometimes its easier to be alone but other times I would do anything to have someone in my life to grow old with.