I'm having trouble with who I am.

[BlakeM]

I've felt like in the last few years I've changed and I don't recognise who I am anymore.

My wife is about to leave me and work is more stressful than anything and I am constantly tired and keep getting thoughts of maybe it would be better if I was gone.

But I don't want to leave my wife and kids.

I keep struggling to do anything right, I can't figure out how to communicate well or at all.

I feel so helpless and so weak

I need help because I want my family to have the best husband and father they could ever want.

But I don't know if I'm even strong enough

[Summer Rose]

Hi Blake

Welcome to the bb forum.

You’ve certainly got a lot on your plate and I know life is tough right now. Hugs to you.

But you’ve found the courage to reach out for support and this is a really important first step. You are neither helpless or weak, just the opposite. You are resourceful for finding this space and brave for sharing your story. 
Communication is challenging for many people, so please know that you are not alone with this issue. The marriage counselling industry exists for a good reason, and this is something you may want to consider with your wife. You would be supported and both of you would be guided in a way to promote and encourage successful communication.

I’d like to suggest your first step be to reach out to your GP. Book a double appointment so you have time to talk through all the issues.

Your GP will then be able to prepare a mental health care plan for you. In doing this your GP will be able to advise you on strategies and treatments to help you care for your mental health and make referrals to local professionals who can help. Your GP can advise how marriage counselling might fit into your plans. (I’m not a doctor or health care professional.)

If you decide to go down this path, it might help to tell your wife how you are feeling and explain the actions you are planning to take. I don’t know your wife or enough about the situation to be sure, but I say this (as a woman and a wife) because it could be possible that she is threatening to leave out of anger or frustration or both, and she might feel differently if she knows more about how you are feeling and how you might take action to improve the situation. 
Does this make sense to you?

Please feel free to post any time. 
Kind thoughts to you

[Mark Z.]

Hi BlakeM,

I can tell how much efforts you've tried, it must be very hard for you.

I don't want to leave my family either if I were you. But I have a feeling that it's too hard for your to fight alone.

Do you want to share, have you tried any professional support, including your GP or a psychologist? If you haven't started yet, it is a good idea to start with your GP. If you need a sooner professional advice, I think it's a good idea to ring Beyondblue hotline to have a chat with a professional.

Hope everything will be fine.
Mark