Shaking, uncontrollably anxious and looking for friends

[Tired_Tracey]

Hey everyone,

I've spent the last three days crying endlessly and trying to cope with what feels like the worst anxiety of my life. I have two kids, am divorced and am in another relationship, used to be a yoga teacher, used to love life and after what feels like the hardest time ever - I. AM. HERE. Stuck in a sludgy hole (metaphorically of course) and driving my partner (and probably ex) INSANE with my ongoing swings between anxiety and depression. I am so very tired and have no idea what I am really looking to achieve out of this except talking, listening to and experiencing understanding with others in the same boat.

Hoping we can all get to know each other.

Trace

[kanga_brumby]

Welcome Tracy To beyond blue a safe place to unwind there are some good people in here who will help. Each to there own abilities. Scan around the sections find a thread read the postings and respond its as easy as that. Try checking out the social section Beyond Blue Cafe A few of us drop in there for a light hearted chat fairly often, Cheers

Kanga (Peter)

[White_Rose]

Dear Trace

First welcome to the forum and second you do sound very depressed. What has been happening in your life? Has anything in particular changed, bad news, financial problems? Some events such as these can send downhill.

Has your GP told you that you have an anxiety/depression problem or is that your diagnosis? I ask because it sounds as though you need to make an appointment to see your GP. Even if you know your problem I suggest a visit to your doctor is a good idea if only to rule out any other cause for your distress.

I see you are a yoga teacher. Can you help yourself by do some yoga exercises? Can you tell us a bit more about yourself? It is always good to know the person you are talking to.

Mary

[Tired_Tracey]

Thanks Kanga, I'm hoping there are people here I can relate to, or maybe even help with my own experiences and strategies. Just thankful that you replied. Forever grateful, Trace x

[Tired_Tracey]

Hi Mary,

I know I'm very depressed. When I can't cope with my anxiety, the helplessness and hopelessness takes over. I've been the single income earner at home for the past few months with my partner at home everyday not doing very much at all. He's a seasonal worker that earns a lot when he's working but is dead broke when he isn't. He make a huge purchase ($85k) that I had to take a $20K loan to help out, I've run through my savings, tax money and holiday payout to support both him and his son, who share our house with my two sons. After days of crying and panic attacks that last at least 45 minutes he had finally started applying for jobs.

My dose of medication was increased to cope with these stressors but it gave me ridiculous sweating, nightmares and night time paralysis. I'm so over medication, i've taken it since my ex cheated on me (almost 3 years) but its efficacy is questionable these days.

My kids ask me if I'll ever smile again. If I'll ever be happy again and it KILLs me. I'm about to start a new job but I'm worried they'll realise I'm a nutbag and not worth employing 😞 I'm just so tired of hating myself.

I appreciate you reaching out Mary, both yourself and Peter made my day xx

Trace

[kanga_brumby]

Tracka that's what we all do ask for help and get it from others like us. also advising others on our strategies usually they work some times you just have to persist with what you are all ready doing

Kanga Peter

[demonblaster]

Ahhh Trace you're in a hole darl, so glad you're letting it out here

Sounds like your'e under quite a lot of pressure hun, I think anxiety is an outlet for depression. Stress has to come out otherwise it consumes us in negatives and angst. It's something we need to use to achieve stuff with, seems to have a lot of adrenalin with tiredness the body trying to lift back up. Energy if it's not used turns into mush

you've got people here behind you now, keep up talking, it's a great release and can help put things in perspective too.
Everyone has something different to say and experiences so alls learning and support.

You'll be ok hun. You've got the goods to get through, we're here too (( ))