I think I posted in the forums back in early 2017. I have had a very interesting last few years. Many up and downs as we all experience here. I finally went and got professional help. Not easy and I'm on my 6th therapists (cptsd child abuse). I do find it hard as I work away and the doctors / specialists chop and change. You start to be getting somewhere then they get transferred. I find by then I don't need any help, but 5 months down the track the Dog is on the loose again. Mood swings, road rage, can't be in crowded spaces and like being alone. I'm 48 years old and I still need help. So I'm back, and getting treatment. I have also slightly opened up to my boss about my problems. Very understanding and somehow seemed like another weight removed from my body. My advice is to open up more to your mates. I have had many breakdowns / panic attacks over the years and it is normal, even manly to cry in front of others. If people around you think opposite, well their the weak ones. Many mates I have lost in recent years (similar background). Late 2017 was difficult, but 2 good mates new something with me wasn't normal. Thanks to them I have had a complete change. My alchol / drug problem is no more, I still drink but not 30 rum cans in a sitting only 6 if I'm lucky and only on weekends. Drug free since 2017. I have recently given up smoking 30 day habit since 14 years old. I look back now and think why did I keep it in for so long and also live such a self destructive lifestyle for so long. The sooner you start talking the easier it gets, it never leaves you but your in control. Thanks for allowing me to join. Regards Mick
