Hi, welcome
Why Do I Feel not Respected in my family?
I hope I can give you some clarity. A short story- Randomly came across a pregnant lady with two kids in the city. Her car got a flat tyre. I offered to fit the spare. It was 38 degrees, my uniform was drenched when I completed the task. She drove off without a word.
I was very hurt and disappointed. Years later a talkback radio commentator was receiving calls about not being appreciated. I rang and told him and his audience about the flat tyre task and that I felt I wasnt respected. He asked "did you fit the spare tyre for that lady to receive respect or did you fit the tyre to help her out"?
I pondered his question for days. Finally I realised why he asked it. See, I had an expectation of a positive verbal act of appreciated, of respect of how I helped her. That expectation was more a priority that the task itself. It was as though- like when a boy I yearned for my mothers praise and words of admiration.
I'm not saying that praise and an appropriate response wasnt apt, but if I didnt expect anything for my efforts, then anything would be a bonus. It kind of took my expectations and flipped them upside down.
So, in response to your question, if you carried out your life in a good, moralistic, upstanding, kind and compassionate way and had zero expectations of anyone to comment on that honourable way of living then respect and signs of appreciation would come. There is one provisio.
Some people no matter how much a good person you are wont display any respect. So what do you do about that? Nothing! it is their problem. You might benefit yourself by distancing yourself from these friends or family members, not a lot of distancing but a few less phone call, a little less contact because- you arent as compatible with them as you might realise and in respect to family members you are promoting contact out of being family rather than being an ideal person to have contact.
I hope that helps. Reply anytime
TonyWK
