Hello DifferentMe & Indigo
When I posted last night, I'd seen Indigo's post, which had reminded me about how much learning to set boundaries means to me. It was one of the first things my current PDr had talked about ith me. & we've talked about boundaries several times since.
My story goes back to my childhood, where I learned my feelings & opinions didn't matter, Lots of criticism from my father's wife, then having no friends at school, bullying, s-abuse from my brother, & my only friend's father, (he against his girl's too), later my father, I'd say I was depressed by 13 years old. I tried to 'escape', & was told I could never tell anyone. More secrets & silence.
to get through everything, I deliberately sort of dissociated, pigeonholing parts of my life, people & places, incidents, keeping everything separate, & pushing all my emotions down. I denied to myself so well I believed for years that I didn't feel anything much at all.
Not true, of-course; i had convinced myself it was though.
Got myself into more awful relationships after leaving home.
Many years later, when things come unravelled, my emotions come rushing in & I realise I can't shove them away anymore. I found a GP who was helpful, well, with a phone book.... found a psychiatrist, who gave me all the space in the world to begin to talk.
I have to deal with memories, relationships with family, even naming feelings was hard at first. Then he moved away, interstate.
I wanted to find someone who would give me the space & time I needed, someone to help me sort out so much of this past of mine, to help me figure out what my feelings were, & to accept them. I didn't want to accept my feelings for years, a decade or more, I guess.
As for what anyone else said about me, or about my feelings, that's their opinion. I had to learn that, too.
Only this year have I had discussions with a couple support workers about boundaries. It's in my own best interest to ensure they understand the difference between 'support worker' & 'friend'.
Of necessity, this isn't my entire story. I'm mindful of the character count, which won't let us post up to the maximum.
Hugzies
mmMekitty
