Not really sure where to start

[Bit_lost]

Feeling really lost with everything really. Feel like I’m letting everyone down all the time(at work and in life)

im struggling with work in a job role I don’t think I’m capable of and feel like there is so much pressure on me (have a great team) but struggle to ask for help or even to say I’m struggling. Feel like I shouldn’t be struggling everybody else can do their job but feel like I just spend most of my time questioning myself or find it hard to make any kind of decision (decisions are big part of the role) so afraid that I’m going to fail and disappoint everyone. Have tried a little bit to tell people I’m struggling but when asked why I feel like It’s all just silly reasons. Spend a lot of time doing head miles on work things. I’m exhausted all the time which then makes me feel like I’m letting my dog down (too tired and working long hours to walk him) struggle to remember or make time to do things with others cause I just want to chill out and not use my brain.

End up spending most of my time alone on the weekend because I’m tired, which then makes me feel lonely. We I do spend time with friend and drink I usually end up getting really drunk. Feel happy and carefree when drunk and much more confident then when sober. Then pretty much end up hating myself for getting drunk which then again leads me to shutting the world out.

never been one to talk about feelings or ask for help and I don’t even know where to start. Feel silly for feeling like this as I know people have things a lot harder.

before I got my new job I felt a little more in control of life there wasn’t as much pressure and I had more time to prioritise life outside of work.

I have been on medication for a while but only a few friends know and I haven’t told my family or work. Not really sure where to start as they see me as happy go lucky (family) and I feel like people at work think I’m more capable then I feel in the role.

what’s the best why you go about talking to people about this kind of stuff (work especially) as I’m not sure how much longer I can keep feeling like this

[Hanna3]

Hi Bit_lost and welcome! I am fairly new here too but I did want to welcome you to the forums here!

It sounds like the problem is the new job that you're not feeling confident in. Is there anyone at work you can safely talk to and ask how you are performing, or discuss your anxiety about whether you are performing your role at work satisfactorily? Sometimes all you need is a bit of reassurance from someone that you are doing fine! Maybe you are expecting too much of yourself in a new role? It takes time to feel fully competent in anything new especially if it's hectic and hold with it more responsibility than you have had before. You say you have a good team - could you check with them that they're happy with how things are going?

I understand about the dog problem too but animals are very understanding and forgiving and it sounds like you have a lot going on right now!

Take a look around the site, it takes a bit of getting used to (I still am). There are lots of people who will be happy to give you support/offer ideas that might help. Sometimes there are periods where there are not a lot of people on the site, other times it's busy, so have a look around and I'm sure others will soon be welcoming you.

I hope things improve for you soon, you sound like you are expecting a lot of yourself and need to give yourself a bit of a break - don't pressure yourself so hard maybe, you are probably doing the job fine. And welcome again!

[quirkywords]

Welcome bit_lost to the forum.

Well done for reaching out and writing your first post.

This is a friendly and supportive place where you can feel free to express your thoughts.

i think many people will feel like you with your new role where you are questioning your decisions and where you feel everyone seems confident. Sometimes those confident looking people are feeling like you.

Is there anyone you feel you can trust to be understanding of your concerns?

I have found when I opened up to people I was surprised how understanding they could be.

keep posting here if you like and continue the discussion.

Quirky