newbie in the middle of an anxiety attack looking for some comfort/help

[Higgi]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the BB forum...I have been diagnosed with Anxiety and stress for probably a year now. Had a really good psychologist for the first few months until she moved to the city and it was getting too hard for me to drive an hour or more for a session.
For the past 2 weeks my anxiety has been really bad. Last Friday/ Saturday I had to go to the hospital for chest pain (we have a family history of hear issues) so I thought it's better to get it checked (also my mum had a heart attack 2 months ago, but is all okay now). I thought maybe this heart attack triggered me and has been building up to a high and is coming to an eruption now (don't know what my triggers are)? Anyhow, the hospital said it's all okay after testing, so they released me.
This week I had several attacks (feeling anxious, heart racing, nausea, dizziness, pressure in chest, occasional sting in heart area, feeling hot and then cold and getting shaky) some of them only last for like 45 mins and other times it comes in waves the longest being over 3 hours. The attacks seem to happen mostly in the evening, worst when it's bed time and I just can't stay calm and have to either turn on the telly, my calm app to be able to distract me of some sort. It's really frustrating and scary because it seems like it will never end and it's just getting worse and the only thing I want to do is relax and finally get some much needed sleep and be able to stay in bed with my partner.
He is very supportive and tries to help wherever he can and is getting worried now because I have only slept once in our bed this week. But at the same time when I can feel my anxiety coming, his calm talking to me just doesn't help and I find I need to be alone and yet I don't want to be alone.
I should probably mention that I have an appointment with a new psychologist end of January. It seems like ages away and I'm not sure if I can wait this long, right now I just feel hopeless and think it will stay like this forever.

I hope this all makes sense and I'm not rambling too much as I'm typing this in the middle of my anxiety attack. I guess I'm just looking for some sort of comfort...

[Croix]

Dear Higgi~

Welcome to the Forum where you will find you are not alone.

It is a most frightening time, seemingly open ended and with symptoms piling up, which have other effects, such as sleep deprevation -another stressor.

Anxiety can cause an awful lot of physical reactions. I was in A&E last year for the same as you, chest pain. And had the same result, no physical cause.

I too have had panic attacks and even reached the stage where my partner's words which displayed love and care, became an annoyance, to be avoided.

6 weeks away to an appointment is an awful long time, and not being able to see the physiologist that helped simply adds to the stress and anxiety, after all the new one is an unknown quantity.

De-stressing your life wiht a healthy lifestyle can help, Beyond Blue has a fair bit to say on this

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety

whch leads through a lot of pages including practical strategies when having an attack.

Members on the Forum too have said what has helped. I've found this a very useful thread, well worth wading though its length

Forums / Anxiety / SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

Perhaps seeing your GP while you wait might be helpful too.

The one thing that helps most to me is to know I've been thogh it all before and survived.

I hope to hear from you again

Croix

[Higgi]

Thank you Croix,

Dealing with anxiety is very tricky and even though I know I'm not alone it's always good to be reassured.

I find too, even though the doctor said everything is okay and all my follow up appointments were okay as well (just have to finish my 7 day holter monitor which started today), I still think maybe something is wrong. But as you mentioned there can be all sorts of symptoms. I'm glad you are okay, definitely know how you felt...

I don't really want to shut my partner out but in that moment it just seems to make it worse. I'd love if he could help me but I'm not sure how to include him and how to explain to him what is going on. I will show him the link you have copied, this might be a good start. And maybe go little steps...? Any experience or ideas as to how to do this?

Forums / Anxiety / SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY I will definitely go deeper into this, I had a quick look the other night when I couldn't sleep and couldn't get myself to post anything, so I ended up distracting myself and read some of the posts.

[therising]

Hi Higgi

So sorry to hear you are going through such and incredible challenge, with both your health and your mum's.

There could be a number of things your partner could do to help you through the crippling anxiety attacks. It becomes a matter of some experimentation regarding what works for you:

• Breath control exercises together. By the way, during an anxiety attack, people have reported a positive when it comes to the first controlled breath being a long breath out, shorter breath in, long breath out and so on. This is based on the idea that the build up of energy the body creates is gradually exhausted. If you try this whilst you're not having an anxiety attack (so you can really observe the technique), you may notice that you begin to feel relaxed, perhaps a little lightheaded (in a good way) and may even begin day dreaming a little. It seriously relaxes the brain
• Listening to soothing sounds (otherwise known as ASMR) is another positive technique for relaxing the brain. Studies incorporating brain scans have noted a significant impact on brain activity. This technique is something you can also do together
• Massage is another idea perhaps worth considering. If your partner can incorporate slow gentle movements and have you gradually shift your focus to the movements, such a distraction (from the anxiety attack) may possibly work in slowing things down in your body
• Buy yourself a special hairbrush, one that you find feels gentle on your hair and scalp (preferably with natural bristles). Have your partner brush your hair for you. Slow gentle strokes have a very soothing impact on a person. Studies have also been done regarding hair brushing, believe it or not. The chemistry the brain experiences is very surprising indeed (similar to ASMR). Gentle scalp massage is another one
• One for yourself: This one takes a lot of imagination; I acknowledge something that's seriously hard to tap into during an attack. Stretch your arms up and out to the sides, so they're in line with your heart. As you take a long breath out, imagine the heart energy being released out through the ends of your fingers. Imagine what this energy looks like (perhaps light, vapor or something altogether bizarre, like glitter or something). Focus on what it looks like as it's being released. This may also help shift focus and calm the body

Trying all these techniques when you're not experiencing high energy levels will perhaps give you a better idea of what could be most effective.

🙂

[Higgi]

Thank you therising.

I will try the points above and see what works for us, there are a few I haven't even thought of!

[Croix]

Dear Higgi~

Getting back negative test results has not always convinced me -at least at first. Like last year with the chest pain, the tests at A&E did not convince me totally that all was well. It was not until I had an MRI with iodine that I could see for myself all was well. It's been like that before with most of my physical symptoms when they started.

I guss it is simply very hard to see the connection between anxiety, a mental state, and various physical ailments.

Trying to get a partner to be a help is a tricky thing. First off I'd have to say reassurance that person will always be there counts for a lot, even if one does not realise it at the time. The send thing is hard -for the partner. To start with my wife thought she might have been the cause, and it was not until my psychiatrist explained how typical my symptoms were that she came to understand she realy had little to do with my condition

Even then for her it was trial and error, made worse by the fact I'd be inconsistent. A simply inquiry how I was feeling would sometimes get an answer, though more likely a dismissive phrase and I might move away, not wishing to interact.

This is something I've though a fair bit about over the years, and have come to the conclusion that for me my mind was already at full capacity, preoccupied wiht the thoghts inspired by my condition going round and round endlessly, wiht no capacity left to deal with others. Thus any contact was met wiht withdrawal, and even anger. Perhaps explaining that might help. You are not shutting him out, you simply do not have room for anything.

When you are together his just listening may be good, my wife listened without trying to make suggestions to improve matters (which would not really have helped).

There is one area where a partner can be a great help, -still is today - and that is perspective. When in an anxious state I assume the worst of all possible outcomes and find it hard to convince myself otherwise. I have found listening to my partner's much more balanced view has been an enormous help and has often stopped my from acting in haste.

Dunno if this is much help at the moment, does any seem to make sense?

Croix

[Higgi]

Thank you Croix! That's very similar to what I feel and go through when my anxiety takes over, all points you have listed above.
I'm not totally convinced that I'm fine even though the tests say I am. On the other side I have my rational thought which tells me this is all backed up by science and facts, so you are okay!
I have tried the massage with my partner, which actually worked. Have to admit though I caught it early on and asked for a massage straight away .

Since Sunday I have been in contact with a mindset coach. She has helped me a lot! My anxiety is moderately to severely popping up in certain situations but I am in control now, and if not she is just a phone call away. Of course there are some set backs but most of the time I'm doing good and seem to be going forward. It's incredible what your mind can do!
My partner has also talked to her so he can get an insight as to what is happening and suggestions how to help and even give more input about me (as I'm not always the most talkative when it comes to problems).
So wait and see how this journey continues... 🙂

[Croix]

Dear Higgi~

I'm very pleased for you, and you are right, the rational mind says it is all OK, but the anxiety keeps on bringing up "what if's". Speaking for myself they do get less then go away, leaving you - or more properly your doctor - to treat them as symptoms rather than problems in themselves. I've meds now that reduce the headaches, and most of the other physical symptoms of anxiety. It helps relieve me of a lot of stress not to have to put up with these things.

The Rising has a lot of good suggestions and you were very wise to get your partner to massage you early on, it can make a real difference as you hoped, that's great!

It's also good to have a backstop, someone to contact when the thoughts take over.

Please let us know how you go

Croix

[Mef]

Hello just read your message and want you too know that unless someone has had a panic attack they don't understand at all what your going though,I'm the queen of panic attacks and you must seek help for it now,I now have agoraphobia too scared to leave the house incase I have a panic attack.on medication for it but I'm just existing,go talk to a psy like I should of done before it took hold of me.i wish you the best x