Newbie - DV Survivor

[Mynamesjeff]

Hi I’m a newbie looking for advice I guess or a place I can get stuff off my chest.

i was molested at the age 4-5yrs old. And have never told anyone other than a best friend. Growing up my parents were big drinkers and always got into drunken fights. When I was 22 I met and fell in love With someone who I ended up having children with. They turned out to be a narcissist and abused me daily. Not always physical. I never told anyone for ages I was so embarrassed. After years of abuse I left started a new life and struggled for ages as a single parent. No one picked up that I was depressed. I eventually found love again with a great person who I went on to have a child with. Few years later and I’m really really depressed and suffer with bad anxiety. I’m always down, sad angry tired. I’ve tried explaining to my partner how I feel but they just don’t understand or make it about them. I’m can’t be the person they want me to be and it kills me. I hate letting my partner down. I hate feeling like this. I feel like I’ve completely given up. I hardly leave the house, cleaning the house feels way to hard to do. I’m not sleeping or eating properly. Always getting angry at the children over little things I don’t have patience these days. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep or cry.

How long does depression and anxiety last. How do I fix it? Who can I talk to! Will they report me if I confined in them?
I feel like I’m going crazy am I going crazy!
i would never hurt my children or myself but someday I wish I never woke up

[Sophie_M]

Dear Mynamesjeff,

Thank you for taking such a brave step and sharing this with us today. We know it isn't easy. We're so sorry to hear how much you have struggled and are stuggling right now. You've found a safe, non-judgmental place where users give and recieive support based on their own experiences with mental health. We want you to know we're here to give you as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

Please know you can reach out to the qualified mental health professionals at our support service on 1300 22 4636 day or night. You might also like to reach out to our friends at 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or via their 24/7 webchat here: https://chat.1800respect.org.au/#/welcome

Please check in and let us know how you're going whenever you feel up to it.

[Ggrand]

Hello Mynamesjeff,

Welcome to the forums..

Listening to your story, was so much like mine...

I was sexually abused at a young age, then to get out away from that person.. I eloped with a person who I thought was really kind and caring..but he was what I call the worse Narcissist person I have ever come across....Unlike you I was terrified of leaving him...and taking our two sons with me...

I firstly want so much to say that I’m super proud of you for being brave enough to leave him, That takes huge courage..

Im really so happy that you found love with a really great person....

Mynamesjeff....I’m wondering if you would consider having a talk to your gp. about how your feeling with your emotions...and how you’re thinking...My gp..helped me so much and made me a mental health care plan...Speaking with professionals has and still is helping me towards wellness.....

Depression/anxiety takes all our motivation to do things away and makes us think the worse of ourselves..You’re not the little voice that depression/anxiety tells you....Please try hard not to listen to those negative thoughts...

I can’t answer you on how long Depression and anxiety lasts for...I think it’s different for everyone who’s unfortunate enough to be struggling with their mental heath..Professional help can end it early..then if you’re trying to manage on your own...which is very hard...

Please look after yourself and be gentle on you..here for you, when I can be..and whenever you feel up to chatting..

Sending you my care, kind thoughts and hugs..🦋🤗.

Grandy..