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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Being gaslighted and other general work problems having a negative effect

replies: 6

Hi All Thanks for having me online. I am single and live alone and have been like this for quite a long time. Being isolated is actually okay with me as I am a bit of an introvert and have many creative pursuits that can keep my mind occupied and curious for a fair amount of time. I'm generally an anxious person (because of experiences in my life) but I am finding my anxiety levels going through the roof over the last couple of weeks. The last day or two I feel like it has started turning into depression, I lack motivation, am tired, have cried a bit and am not interested too much in eating. It doesn't have to do with the isolation, it's actually my work situation. Working from home isn't a big deal. I have done it before, a lot. It has to do with one of my managers. He has been making me uncomfortable for months. He is a psychological manipulator and tries to turn things back onto me so I think I am in the wrong, when I actually haven't done anything. Recently, his behaviour has gotten much worse. He asks me to set up meetings with senior staff and then basically throws me under the bus in front of them to cover up his incompetence. It's humiliating. He put me on a project and when we had the client workshop he didn't introduce or acknowledge me the whole session, but he introduced the rest of our team. When I pulled him up on it later he acted like nothing happened. When my team is working on something he comes to me individually online and asks me to do something behind their backs. I tell him I need to let the group know and he says no - which then puts me in a situation that makes me look dishonest to the team. All these incidents go on. Like holding up 1 page of work for 6 weeks so I can't move forward with my work. He throws me into meetings when I don't know why I am there. He even put my name on a document as the author of it, it had been written by him and it wasn't accurate. I know I am not alone because another person has problems too, but I feel like I am going to have a breakdown. I literally feel like I can't cope and feel sick every time I have to deal with him or a situation associated with him. It's easy for him to hide behind his computer at home where no one can see him. I am in a position of not knowing who I can trust in the business - as I am constantly humiliated, feel used and I was fairly new before lockdown. Thanks for listening.

Self Discovery

replies: 4

I thought about why I am at a point where I need support and this is what I feel. I moved here two years back and I still have no friends.I don't know how to go about making new friends not so much because I don't know how to join groups or activities but primarily because of how I feel about myself. - I feel like my personality isn't interesting/worth getting to know - I don't know what my passions and interests are any more. I feel disinterested in most topics. With these i struggle to make and keep a connection. My friends from back home are still my friends but I feel the lack of connection because I no longer know what is going on in their lives. I know that is partly because I don't ask questions often enough but I struggle with the realization that my existing friends don't view me as someone they want to reach out to and talk to about their lives. Is it because im a bad listener? Do I not show enough interest? I'm not sure. When I do join some group calls with friends I often feel like the dumb one. I'm not aware enough of the current world, i dont have a strong enough opinions, i dont have anything to contribute, im not smart enough...all these thoughts run through my head and I become a spectator.

Loneliness

replies: 3

Is there anyone who is as lonely and unloved as me?

Hi! I’m new and struggling

replies: 4

Hey everyone, I’m Lily. I’m 25 years old. I have had depression and anxiety on and off for a few years now, but for the past few months I have really struggled with depression. I’m seeing a psychologist who has been great, but I feel alone and reading the threads is helping me realise that there are many of you going through similar things. I feel like I’m struggling to the point that I almost just want to give up. Every day feels like an effort. I always feel tired and lacking in energy and I stay up late with my thoughts. I find it difficult to open up to people about how I’m feeling and I don’t even know who my true friends are to confide in. This has really bothered me lately and I feel more alone than ever. I’m getting admitted as a lawyer soon and despite this, because of my mindset at the moment, I am really lacking in motivation and have lost the drive that I once had. I am busy at work and I am hard on myself whenever I make a small mistake or don’t understand something. In my head I call myself terrible things. Any help or sharing of experience is appreciated

Hi

replies: 2

this forum has brought me much support in the past and i could use it right now and hopefully offer my support to others as well

I think I need help for anxiety but I’m not sure

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I have debated with myself about joining and making a post because I’m not sure whether I’m just being a wuss or genuinely have some issues that I need help with. So I guess I’ll tell you a bit about myself.. I’m 22 and for as long as I can remember I’ve always been a perfectionist but I think it’s gotten worse in recent years. I went to uni straight out of high school because I didn’t want to ‘waste time’ not getting into a career that I would probably end up in anyway despite the fact I’m fairly certain now that ive graduated and am working that it won’t be a life long one. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job but Also think that I’m not going to be able to sustain it for some of the reasons I’m about to list. I HATE HATE HATE making mistakes and will beat myself up for it for days no matter how small and always worry about what others think of my mistakes or knowledge deficits. I expect myself to know how to do things that I haven’t learned yet but would never have the same expectation of someone else of my same level of experience and education and would think it ridiculous if they criticised themselves for the same thing. When I get stressed (particularly at work) i could be experiencing anything from chest tightness, fast breathing, hot flushes, sweats, brain fog and very often get dizzy spells. I once had to be sent to the emergency department during work for almost fainting. I had a blood pressure 170/110 and a heart rate in the 120s. The doctor put it down to stress, sent me home and I was back the next day. I went to my manager about it who said I was ‘too much of perfectionist’ and I once I sorted that I’d be fine. ive never been in a relationship (Which I’m embarrassed about) because I don’t believe I’m smart, attractive or good enough but yearn for a partner to live life with. I struggle with a lot of friendships and don’t believe that they are genuine, rather that people feel sorry for me. I don’t like going out in public and avoid shopping and the beach at all costs because of my weight. I could list more but the thing is, I wouldnt judge anyone for these issues and would be completely supportive of anyone who needed help, but still struggle to justify why I myself should need help and can’t just power on. I’ve considered seeking help in the past but always believed others needed it more than me and I was wasting resources. This is as open as I have ever been. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated xx

First timer

replies: 4

Hi there I have never done an online forum before so not sure what to write other than it’s been a pretty tough time of late difficult bout of depression on and off meds starting new meds what a roller coaster ride and I just want to feel and function normally again, not feel less than and not feel angry all the time when I really have nothing to be angry about but I am I feel it like it’s crawling under my skin, my mask has been slipping at work they are wondering what is going on with this woman who is usually the bright bubbly one, the one who notices when others aren’t doing so great and will reach out with care and bring laughter but at home when the mask is off there’s the other me the one whose tired physically and emotionally in pain and angry really really angry for being so weak and not being able to control these emotions as they take over my life and my relationship With my husband who only try’s to help but the one thing I can control is holding on to that anger and keeping my walls up and not letting him in ... see I’m angry at him because 18months ago he had a major breakdown and was contemplating suicide, he had the plan, this grown man blubbering on the shower floor and me trying to coax him to get up and trying to hold it all together, he ended up in hospital and is doing much better now stable on his medication and now all I am doing is being resentful to him and being scared I am going to be like him a puddle of mess on the floor in the shower not being able to function not being able to go to work not being able to keep my mask on I just feel so much anger it exhumes my whole being yet the the external world sees the other LyndyLou the one who tough it out and has the infectious smile if only they knew what I was really like the real me the angry resentful one the one who can be so cruel to her husband ... as I am writing this I am scared of what I am going to get back but I’m being honest I’m tired of wearing my mask all the time, I’m tired of trying to eat right, excercise daily, drink less, sleep right, trying to find the combination that works and feeling such a failure fir not being able to manage my life without medication l lasted two weeks noT on medication before I fell in the puddle and I so hate that feeling of failure if feeling less than and so the roller coaster continues day in day out I have forgotten how to feel normal naturally I can’t remember when I actually was there are moments of pure joy but they don’t last

New & dealing with first time anxiety

replies: 4

I am grateful & very lucky compared to some, but this hasn’t helped with my anxiety which all started due to the worry of COVID. I live in regional NSW and have a small business. Initially I had the worry of not knowing if we would have to close our business, we have 3 family members who work there and another 3 staff who you feel financially responsible for as well. Unlike many others we weren’t required to close, but we were very quiet for the first 4-6 weeks. During that time it was very overwhelming trying to digest all of the information, implementing new rules & regulations and constantly worrying about the spread of this disease. Although business has picked up since 1 June, being a smaller regional town, I continue to worry about visitors from out of our area , and community transfer. I know I can’t change this and hope that everyone is doing the right thing, to help prevent the spread. I’ve never had anxiety prior to all of this and hate the way it makes me feel. Last week I saw my gp and I’ve started speaking to a counsellor. I find it helpful to talk about it, so thought this might be a good place to start. I do feel guilty feeling like this when there are others in worse situations then me.

Might as well start with a Hello post

replies: 1

Hi, new here. Spent the last hour or so browsing through posts, but I don't really know what to say or where to start. Not just on this forum, but anywhere really. So many times I'll hear a "keep active, keeping yourself busy is the key to good mental health" mantra, but I never can seem to get the ball rolling. I can switch the computer on and just stare at a blank screen for hours ... at the end, I've got no idea where the time went, I've just been flicking back and forth between screens without taking anything in. Sometimes I'll get a train of thought, I'll go to look something up, but by the time I've clicked on google the thought is gone - I'm struggling to remember what I was doing.

Too anxious to seek help

replies: 7

Hi all, first time here - well I created an doubt I didn’t use a few years back! This is a big step for me because I’ve felt too anxious to reach out to anyone. The thought of a dr appointment, mental health plan, referral, then finding the right psych for my needs ... it’s all just so overwhelming! I would love some tips from others who’ve gone through this. My issues are past trauma, current relationship woes, eating disorder, self-destructive behaviour ... and just generally feeling it’s all a bit too much to bear. I took a mental health day yesterday from work but don’t feel like telling my boss what’s going on because I don’t feel like I have a good reason to be so stressed right now.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Being gaslighted and other general work problems having a negative effect replies: 6

Self Discovery replies: 4

Loneliness replies: 3

Hi! I’m new and struggling replies: 4

Hi replies: 2

I think I need help for anxiety but I’m not sure replies: 2

First timer replies: 4

New & dealing with first time anxiety replies: 4

Might as well start with a Hello post replies: 1

Too anxious to seek help replies: 7