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[Rainforest]

Hello I am new & don’t really know where to start. I am not used to talking about myself. I am mature aged person & have depression that has gone undiagnosed for most of my life. I just thought it was normal ‘that’s life’, now I look back there wasn’t anything normal. I handled situations ok, but now I am not. I feel like I’m in a bucket of oil I can’t get out of. I feel useless, helpless and frustrated to say the least. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone by talking about my feelings as I know there’s people worse off than me. It’s just getting harder to cope. Thankyou for listening .

[quirkywords]

Welcome Rainforest to the forum.

Thanks for taking time to write your post and share your story with us. This is a caring , supportive and nonjudgmental community.

A bucket of oil is a very graphic and apt description of the feeling of trying to get out but always slipping back.

This is the place to talk about feelings as people here can relate to what you are feeling.

Have you seen your doctor or a counsellor? You mention that your depression has gone undiagnosed for most of your life, does that mean you have been recently diagnosed.

There are many threads here and information on depression , that you may want to browse.

You are not alone, depression makes us see things differently.

Your feeling are as valid as anyone else so feel free to post here as often as you like and tell us about how you are feeling.

Thanks again and welcome.

Quirky

[Ggrand]

Hello Rainforest,

I would also like to welcome you to the forums aloud with Quirky..

Im sorry your struggling with depression and have been for a long time..Your description of being in a bucket of oil, yes very hard to get out, you just keep slipping back into depression..

Rainforest, Quirky has asked if you have seen a Dr.. I feel that without the help of professionals it's really hard to fix ourselves..would this be something you would consider at all?

When your finding it hard to cope with your feeling/ thoughts, could you try and find something that you like doing, sewing, reading, games, music. by concerntrating on doing these your minds of your unhealthy thoughts..

Their are a lot of threads on the forums as Quirky has mentioned, there good information as well as discussions going on, feel free to join in the conversations if you feel to..

Your feelings are just as important as anyone else's, I'm pleased you found the forums and posted here..Please keep in touch and let us know how your doing..

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..

[Rainforest]

Thankyou Quirky & Ggrand for your kindness. Yes I have seen a GP & many years ago put me on AD’s which increased in dosage over the years. I made bad decisions, they covered up all emotion & I lived in no mans land. A few years ago I felt I was totally broken & went & lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere, reclusive almost. I got off the AD’s, & started to focus again. I thought I could just confront my issues, I could see more clearly but have problems with the bouts of depression. I wake up everyday with negative thoughts on the past, & how I should have done this or that better. Guilt that I am not as strong as I once was, & that my children think I’m nuts. It just won’t go away. I have recently moved back to society, I do have a casual job but have to force myself to go everyday. My GP sent me to psychologist, unfortunately I did not connect with him, he seemed disinterested, & said I just needed to get a job.

I use the CALM app on my phone which is good. But still not right. Is this how it will always be? I feel I have no purpose.

[quirkywords]

Rainforest,

I like your name. Thanks for replying and giving us more information that is vey helpful.

My adult children think I am nuts too. Sometimes a move away to a simpler life can help but if you are taking all your issues with you, it may not work.

Somtimes it takes a few people

[quirkywords]

Rainforest,

Sorry , my chubby fingers pressed something and post sent too early.!!

I was trying to say that you may need to see a few psychologists or counsellors till you find one you get on with. Also you may need to see someone a few times before you feel a connection.

I am glad you find the CALM app helps and that you have a casual job.

Finding a purpose is something some people seem to find easily and others find it more difficult.

By writing your post her you will be helping others who read it and can identify with yiu and realise they are not alone.

Also if you want you can browse the threads and find topics and people that you can relate to.

Feel free to post here as much as you like.

Quirky

[Rainforest]

Hi Quirky

Thanks for your reply, it is better feeling that others feel these horrible feelings as well, not that I want anyone to feel them ever. It can be a lonely place, so glad I found this forum. I have read some of the posts & they have been helpful.

I am currently looking around for another psychologist. I sincerely hate being this way & keep looking for anything that will help.

Some people say “just be yourself”, well I don’t know who that is. And “stand up for yourself”, well when I do that’s not acceptable. I guess that comes from a lifetime of being what I thought others wanted.

[Ggrand]

Hello Rainforest,

Im pleased that you are trying to find another psychologist I hope you can find one that you feel comfortable with..

I also use the calm app and also find insight timer a good one as well.

Finding a purpose in life, is different for each individual, and some do find it early in their lives, others find it later on.. I hope you find what your looking for..

I hope you have a good weekend..

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..

[me-n-u]

Hi, I am new to this forum and in fact have never been on any other forum so I am completely new. I am realising just how much I have relied on my dogs and horses over the years for my emotional wellbeing. I am wondering if other people have suffered the loss of a pet and have had difficulty coming to terms with their loss.

[Ggrand]

Hello me-n-u,

welcome to the forums,

Im so really sorry for your loss, words sometimes just doesn't seem enough to portray the sadness I feel for you loosing your beloved pet..Yes I have lost a pet and I felt so sad for a long time...

Me-n-u, Unfortunately you have landed onto another's support thread, it's okay, so don't worry. Staying on this thread it will be hard for people who relate to your problem to help you..I was wondering if you could go back to the home page, then click on all treads...then..on the orientation button, then click new thread..then you can start a thread of your own, to get the support that you so much need and deserve..

I will keep a look out for your thread so I can support you as well as many others.. good luck..

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..