New to forums. Thank God for my children and my elderly dog right now or I would be gone.

[Allanimals]

My youngest daughter is on this forum and she has now set me up here also. Bless her heart. Thank God she is getting the help she needs to finally be able to talk to me in a way that a depressed person understands regarding how life can be so challenging. I was so proud of her and her wisdom of what she has learned for herself now she has moved away, after I had a big melt down tonight, and finally someone understands me where so many others just don't "get it." My sadness for my youngest daughter is her depression is genetic (a little bit of trauma added in there) and it breaks my heart that family history crap can be passed on. I have a bunch of trauma depression that I have never had the chance to properly deal with as no psychologist etc has ever bothered to take the deep down time I probably need. The talks always end up as the "here and now" and there is always a ton of that crap we all deal with. A few select friends who know my past have said I should write a book but that is just too deep and I don't want to go there ever again so it wouldn't give justice to any book. To all of you out there suffering depression in one way or another I can only wish for you to have a happy Christmas and hope so much that 2017 is better for us all. ❤️

[bkyth7]

I wonder what positive things that you may have passed on to your daughter genetically as well? While we actually do live in the 'here and now' all of us has a history which brought us to this moment and that needs to be recognized in therapy. I tend to think of myself as experiencing depression rather than suffering from it. Suffering is not optional but perhaps the way in which we think about those issues which effect us has an influence upon how we experience them. No people don't 'get it' but if depression is not an issue for them in their lives how could they? That is where sites such as BB can be very helpful. People in general won't understand it if you tell them it takes you half the day to get yourself upright and make a cup of coffee to then let it get cold because if you drink it you're back where you started. "Drink your coffee before it gets cold" they tell me. "Not bloody likely" I think to myself while whimpering out meekly "I like it cold" As this is your first post I hope you continue to make further ones as there are plenty of people here who have callouses on their elbows earned from having made a decision only to realize that they are compelled to make another one and find a way forward. And so it goes. Philip.

[blondguy]

Happy Christmas Allanimals (and bkyth7 too)

What a wonderful and caring thread. I have had depression for 20 years and medicated....I understand where you are coming from.

Your daughter is a pro-active one and good on her for being a part of the BB family 🙂

Im sorry that you had a rotten night but considering the circumstances I would have had the same.

Genetic...maybe....but at the end of the day whether its in the upbringing or chemical you have done the best you can and good on you. We are not computer processors and sometimes our kids will grow up in ways we never thought they would.

You have done so much good (as per bkyth7's post) as a parent sometimes we only see the disappointments.

Your wishes to many posters suffering this awful illness are a treat and greatly appreciated.

The bulk of the activity on the forums are the readers that choose not to post which is fine of course. You have helped out many people on and off the forums on Christmas Day and thankyou so very much for having the inner strength and courage to have reached out

There are many very kind people like you on the forums that are here for you 🙂

Thankyou for being 'New' too....If it wasnt for new posters there would be no Beyond Blue Forums

You are more than welcome to post back when convenient of course.....even just for a chat

my kindest thoughts and respect to you

Paul (dog rescue person with a Chow Chow x German Shep mega woofer) 🙂

Please be gentle to yourself...

[geoff]

hi AA, this is a lovely post and so pleased that your daughter has taken the plunge to get help, but also to be able to talk with you like no one else is able to do, that's the link and it's very strong, and must mean the world for you.
When I saw my psychologist who I was seeing for 20 years, she asked me when I was able to talk and not cry, was there any depression in my family, so I said no, because I can never remember Mum or Dad suffering, but then I was only a kid, but yes I have met people who have had their parent/s suffer from depression and so they have as well.
Your association and connection with your daughter must be one of your best Xmas presents ever, I love it. Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear AA

Hello and a warm welcome to Beyond Blue. I recently discovered that psychologists work with someone pretty much in the here and now with sometimes a look back to the past. They are helping someone manage their present hurt and move on. Psychiatrists will focus on the here and now for a while. I think this is to get to know you and both to feel comfortable. However the psychiatrist will go back to the reasons for your depression and trauma. Sadly many people say they do not have time or money to reach back and discover the whys and hows of their depression.

If you would like to do this, and I am presuming this is the main reason for your thread, then go and see your GP and ask for a reference to a good psychiatrist. You can discuss with the psych what you want to do, how long you want to stay and generally make a commitment to this work. It will take a long time and dredging up your past will be uncomfortable and reduce you to tears on occasions. But the rewards are amazing. I recently started this process for all sorts of reasons and I am beginning to find great benefit from this process.

Have a chat to your GP, book a long appointment, and tell him/her how you feel.

I wish you a happy Christmas and New Year. Perhaps 2017 can be the year you start to heal.

Mary