Hi
Rusty Girl, I'm new to the forum and a Beyond Blue Voice, but you mentioned sleep and that you find yourself struggling the most at night.
Having broken my back and still undergoing a very long recovery, with a number of strong medications and a spinal nerve stimulator and fusions, the worst time for me has always been at night. I've had to roll over or move like a rotisserie chicken in order to reduce pain. That quiet time at night, when everyone else is asleep and you feel the stress and anxiety taking over, is very hard to control. I have found that through meditation and developing strong mind control, or listening to relaxing music by headphones or getting up, getting a piece of paper or a journal and writing down how you're feeling, what you want, why its not happening, etc can be of so much benefit, as a cleared mind allows you to sleep. I grew up in a negative environment and those things, plus illness change you forever. But you can reverse the negative thinking. Your mind is a muscle - work it as you would your arms at the gym. Set yourself small goals to find something each day to be grateful for. It can be as simple as being thankful for a nice cup of coffee or that the sun is shining, but eventually looking at the world and trying to find something positive changes your mindset.
I don't know your full story, but I hope maybe this helped a little.
K
