New here

[MrsRed28]

Hey, I'm on here because I thought it was time that I talk to someone. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression 3-4 years ago. Just when I think I'm getting better and things are looking up, BOOM! Something happens and I'm back to where I started. I have a loving and supporting family who are there for me. But I don't want to burden them, even though they say I'm not. I feel like I'm stuck in life and don't know what to do. Most days I wake up with a heavy feeling in my chest that won't go away.

[blondguy]

Hi MrsRed28

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post too!

You are not alone here with anxiety & depression. I understand your pain after having anxiety for 13 years which did ease with frequent counseling (then it turned in to depression)

The Good News is that the severity of the anxiety does reduce big time with super regular counseling.

Just my opinion but you wouldnt be burdening anyone by leaning on them at all. Anxiety/Depression is no different to a physical illness. Its just we cant see it like you can with a broken leg or diabetes...We can sometimes make the anxiety worse by not leaning on people.

If you have a good GP..Its a great starting point to start regular visits. This can be a long and rocky road to travel. The heavy feeling in your chest is just another annoying symptom of this crappy condition. Anxiety/depression are mentally and physically draining. Having a really good 'vent' to a GP/counselor will help your system from going 'Boom' when we are triggered by various life events

The forums are a judgement free zone too MrsRed. No one will judge you here. The forums are a very safe & secure place for you to post whatever is on your mind. Even if you just need a chat 🙂

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[Starwolf]

Welcome to the forums MrsRed,

Well done for finding the courage to reach out. You have come to the right place.

Though it is no longer an issue for me I was once plagued by anxiety over a period of several years. The familiar heavy feeling in the chest did send me for a couple of hospital check ups. I thought I was having a heart attack.

I agree that depression tends to come and go in waves. Sometimes triggered by something, other times spontaneously.

Family members are usually inclined to support each other during difficult times. If asked, I believe they would say they'd like to know what is going on. There's no better supportive network than family. Mental conditions are medical conditions. Because they affect the mind, they're mistakenly associated with weakness of character. The stigma is often self-imposed. But the truth is, the mind depends on sound brain mechanics and the brain is just another body part.

Because mental issues cannot be explained in terms of reason and logic, they're difficult to understand for those affected. Even more so for those around them. Copying this link into your browser will access useful tips on discussing mental illness :

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/have-the-conversation/talk-about-it#findwords

Finding a counselor/therapist we can connect and work with can take several attempts. But the right person will help you get unstuck and manage the situation.

Meanwhile, researching and learning to master coping strategies like mindfulness, relaxed breathing, relaxed body scan etc...often help take the edge off anxiety. Smiling Mind and Buddhify are useful apps. There is also online treatment for anxiety (check MindSpot and MoodGym).

Kindest thoughts.

[Mr_Walker]

Hi MRsRed28 - what the others said! Lot's of people here would know the feeling of anxiety and depression coming in waves - mine's back after a long time too!

One thing that helps me though is the thought that you're not really "back to where you started" because you have more knowledge and experience than the last time. I like to think I haven't "gone backwards" or" back to square one" (though I did feel that way for a long time) - just that the anxiety is back and I'm going to use what I learned the other times to work on it again...

If you can talk to your GP or psychologist it can be easier than feeling like you're "burdening" your friends or family (though you're not - they WANT to help you!) - but with a psychologist, the relationship is very clear - it's their JOB to listen to you and help you work through it - you're not burdening them! That's been my experience... best wishes, J.

[MrsRed28]

Thanks for the warm welcomes.

I have visited my GP a few times. I was put on medication to help with my anxiety and depression, but life is really hitting me hard at the moment. I feel selfish saying that though, because I know there are others worse off than I am. I have only tried 1 psychologist. The second time I went to her, she asked me why I was there and didn't help me at all... I also paid full price for the visit. I will be discussing my next steps at my next GP appointment.

My family say that I've changed a lot. I used to be bubbly and outgoing. Now, I'm always tired and not feeling 100% the majority of the time.

I'm usually a very independent person. Leaning on others and trying to relax a bit is all new to me. It's nice to know I have somewhere I can chat and not be judged. Thank you. 🙂

[Ladyhawke]

Hi MrsRed28,

Every one who's replied to your initial post have given you very good advice.

I've been dealing with major depressive/anxiety disorders for more than two decades and yes, depression can come in waves, increasing or decreasing in intensity.

Your one experience with a psychologist doesn't sound as though it was terribly positive. Please know that many of us who are/have been in therapy have had to see a few different therapists - be they psychologists or psychiatrists - before we found one we felt comfortable with. In my case, I saw five psychiatrists before I found one with whom I clicked.

Please don't let the negative experience put you off seeking help from a therapist. The advice and support they can provide is invaluable. I have been seeing my psychiatrist on a weekly basis for 16 years and I feel very fortunate to have his support and skills.

When you speak with your GP, tell him about your experience with the psychologist and ask for a referral to another. There are many excellent therapists out there; it's a matter of finding the right one for you and that is possible.

Beat wishes, LH