I'm new here

[lexy]

Mother of 6. Eldest is 15 youngest is 4 months. Do have post natal depression and aniexty. I'm 34 years old. Have found support to be wonderful in dealing with this. But some days are a struggle.. I think your all amazing xx

It's a pleasure to meet everyone

[lexy]

I think my confidence as a mother has gone out the window. And I cant understand why. I raised 5 kids by myself. Now im.a mess..

I do have a new partner this is his first baby. So I think ive put so much pressure on myself that my brains just gone into overload. Im.always busy usually. I keep busy so I dont have to think. Maybe that's my problem . I always but it to the side now I've had a baby in breastfeeding so most of my day is sitting feeding a baby and I get lost in my own thoughts. Then have a panic attacks cause im.over thinking. I was doing really well and then i dislocated my knee. I have been able to drive for 5 weeks. I can drive again now. I've had to depend of my mother to drive me around. And again after 5 weeks im.slowing walking better etc. But i got stuck sitting getting lost in my thoughts again. I have a 4 year old who.is highly strung just his nature. Who is forever busy always into something. So I'm forever saying. Don't touch this, dont climb that. He's a busy boy. I just feel so overwhelmed with everything. Xx

[geoff]

hello Lexy, I'm so sorry that you are suffering from PND, my wife did after our second child and after awhile that's when I also had it, so I know what it feels like, but more so how my wife was unable to cope, thankfully we had her mother staying with us, who I couldn't have been so pleased with, because at that time I was running a family hotel with a skeleton of staff, so the situation was very difficult, but not as much as how you are feeling with 6 children.
Any type of depression makes our mind wonder and always think negative, that's the base to what this illness will do for you,especially when you dislocated your knee, not only did this make your own life feel like hell, but to organise and run a family would have been terrible.
With an active 4 year old would only double your depression/anxiety, because that's not what you really want to cope with right now, so I hope that your 15 year old is able to help you or is she more occupied with someone else from her school and too busy.
I know it must be a real struggle for you, and with depression is not what you would ever wish for, unfortunately depression doesn't let you decide what you want or what you can do.
I feel so much for you, and really appreciate that you actually had time to post a comment, and do hope you can stay with us. Geoff. x

[lexy]

Thank you for the reply Geoff certainly means alot.

I have family close and there always there to help when eva i need it.

With dislocating my knee my mum had 3 weeks off to help around. she is a lifesaver for having time off work.

My older kids are at the age. The help when they feel like it.. generally good but do have there moments. It's hard dealing with different ages and personalities.

I find with all the stress going on lately I find thinking about dying and leaving me kids. Which makes it quiet upsetting.. I allow myself to cry and know there just thoughts but never easy.

I try and keep myself distracted but i find the more I dont think about it the more I do...

My partner is fantastic. Very understanding and patient just hugs me when he knows im crying.

I feel isolated at home i think because I cant do enough to keep my mind busy.

[Candombera]

Hi lexy,

Thank you for telling your story. It must be very hard to go through depression and anxiety while taking care of your kids.
I had post natal psychosis when my son was 4 months old, and when I went through that, as a consequence of the medications taken, I had depression too. I was in hospital 4 times and the whole process went for more than 2 years. But I recovered, and I told my story on the Welcome and Orientation section (it's called "Breaking barriers: How I overcame depression").

A few tips I can suggest:
Join a mothers group, it helped me a lot to get out of the house and talk with women going through a similar situation.
Go and see a GP that can refer you to a psychologist/psychiatrist.
Many suburbs have community/health centres with mental health services such as nurses, social workers where you can go and have a chat, or they even send you someone home.
Get as much help as you can from family and friends (with the kids, cooking, cleaning etc).
Joining the forums is also a great idea to talk about.

I hope that you start to feel better soon.
All the best

[lexy]

Thank you for your reply.

Oh im so sorry to hear that. 😞

I'm seeing someone atm but i think it needs to be more regular.

I've seen my gp as I know i didn't feel right. Some days are great others are so not as you know. I find getting out of the house as you said helps.

Kids are helping though they don't quiet understand why I cry lots.

I give myself time to cry.. it helps alot.

I need to find something for myself. Even if its just an hour. Like having a bath with no kids around.. Lol

Not sure if thats possible. Hahaha

Ur an inspiration thank you xx

[Candombera]

Hi lexy,

Glad to hear that you're seeing someone. I believe once a week would be good if you're not that good at the moment. And agree that an hour for yourself daily would be great!

Are all the kids at school except for the baby?
You can use part of the time they're at school to do something for you. Think about something that you enjoy.

Is your baby breast-fed only? Have you thought about introducing formula and have a combination of formula feeds and breast-feeds. Breastfeeding is hard work and a lot of pressure if you're not at your best. In my case I've found that having my partner taking care of some feeds was a great relief.

Have a great day!