new and looking for advise????

[ci]

HI i have never posted on any of these sites and after hiding my illness from the world for the past 2 years i'm nervous about posting!

I have been suffering with ocd for the past 2 years and i'm at a loss as to how what to do. i am hoping that someone can give me some advise! you always hear people using the expression oh i'm a bit ocd i like to have clean house or an organized pantry but thats not really ocd the term gets used so much without people understanding there is so much more to ocd than that and it makes me and im assuming other people struggling like me feel belittled and week. 

I struggle everyday and i know it sounds silly or strange but just parking the car can be a stressful ordeal when having a bad ocd day. its exhausting. from what i do understand about ocd everyone is different and have different symptoms. for me the ocd rituals are not to bad and i cope ok with them even though it takes me half hour to get from the couch to bed at night because of some of them. its the intrusive and horrible thoughts that try to get into your mind it feels like a constant battle against them and its exhausting. people don't seem to understand this illness and i'm not sure whether to start being open and honest with friends and family about it or keep it hidden. it has isolated me as things have become to hard to hide  so i just avoid people my friends have gone and gotten on with there lives without questioning me  orcontacting me as to where i've gone. the very small amount of family that have figured out what's happening just made it sound trivial and don't understand the hell it is to live with ocd. I am putting so much pressure on my amazing husband and i feel terrible over the past 2 years i am nothing like the person i was before the ocd i have 3 beautiful children and i want nothing more than to give them there mother back!!

i am so angry that this illness has taken so much of my life and i'm searching for answers i've seen psychiatrists and had ocd diagnosed but im nervous about medication as i've had conflicting advise from the 2 i've seen part of my ocd also is a massive fear of medication anything you consume. if anyone has had treatment that has worked i'd be so grateful for your help. Sorry i've rambled a lot  but the last thing i think worth saying is this all started around a very stressful time in my life and then an operation to have  hysterectomy i'm not sure but i believe this all triggered my ocd.

[Paul]

Hi ci,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums where your ocd won't be trivialised. A lot of us have gone through some pretty scary things and have learnt that the experience is different for everyone, but emotional pain is horrible no matter what it is caused by.

I wonder how you felt with both psychologists - did you feel listened to? Is it worth trying a third psychologist or even a psychiatrist to get another angle on things.

Please don't be sorry to ramble - We love it when people join up and ramble - it helps to get it out of your head.

I'm sure there are people in the community here who have ocd and may have some better tips for you.

Keep in touch ci, you're not alone xx

Paul

[Chris_B]

Hi ci, welcome to the forums. You might want to have a look through the Anxiety section for posts on OCD, and join in the some of the discussions there.  Here are a few to get you started:

OCD thoughts

OCD and intrusive thoughts

OCD: My story

Anxiety/OCD or am I just going crazy?

Purely obsessive OCD

[Stormi71]

Hi ci, welcome to the forum.

I don't have OCD, but I have three children as well. It's bad enough we have to deal with our mental illness, but it just makes it worse when you worry how it's affecting your kids, and that you're not your "real self" anymore. I actually told my 16 year old that I had depression (as he asked about my medications) the other day.  I took that as a good opportunity to have a talk to him about depression, and to make sure he was okay, as he's just started his year 12 studies. The other two are 13 and 10, a bit young to really understand. 

Psychologists are good to talk to. I feel you really need to feel comfortable with them, though. You need someone you feel totally comfortable taking about everything with. Otherwise you will find yourself holding back stuff or not being honest. There's nothing wrong with shopping around for the perfect one for you. 

I didn't, until recently, tell many people about my depression and anxiety. It is a hard thing to do. It's because people don't understand mental illness. It's the fear of the unknown. But I now believe it's more helpful to tell people. I feel like a huge weight has lifted because pretty much everyone knows now, including facebook friends. It surprised me how many other friends online etc came forward and said "I have depression, too". There's too many of us suffering in silence. 

[ci]

Thankyou so much everyone for your replies it has been helpful i will definitly checkout those other posts about ocd.

I've been tried few pycologists and 2 phyciatrists it is hard to find someone that is helpful and understands especially the ocd side of things its hard for people to understand why not just ignore it urge to do the weird things i find myself doing hopefully on the right track with whom im seeing.

 Stormi71 thanks posting about your kids i'm finding it to be the hardest thing about this illness worry so much that it is effecting them. my elest is 12 youngest is 4 so they all to young to understand but they know something not right my eldest one making fun of one of the funny quirks i have the other day broke my heart just not sure how to deal with that. its funny that you said felt like weight taken off you by telling people feel like huge weight trying to hide it so hopefully i will feel the same when get the courage to tell people.

 Thanks again for replying