Needing a rant.

[Notsurewhatmynameshouldbe]

Hey, so I’m new and I’ve never done this before but I guess I’ll just start.

I’m currently struggling with my mental health. I’m not diagnosed with anything and haven’t been to a counsellor or anything before.

Idk I’ve just moved houses from one state to another. It was such a huge move. I was fine with it at the start and after about a year in (about nowish) I’m currently now doing as well as I thought I was.

Idk what it is but like,, I don’t have much motivation, I’m in my last year of high school so I kinda need it right now! I am experiencing highs and lows not even just with my mental well-being and how I’m coping with life.

For fun I play netball, but lately it’s just getting boring and not at all enthusing as it once used to be. It’s more like a chore than anything. the day before I have my games I am excited to play and then on the day I’m just so low and tired and not wanting to do anything.

Idk I sometimes burst into tears when I’m alone. It’s not even that often I just feel lonely and like I need someone to comfort me But I don’t want comfort at the same time.

I blame it on my hormones and shit but idk if it’s just that or it’s me.

Like my coach for netball she saw something this afternoon and she messaged me not that long ago asking whether I was fine and needed help or anything. And I always tell people I’m fine and good and grand but i just don’t know how I feel and I don’t know what else to say other than that. My friends have noticed it as well but I say the same shit that I’m good and it’s nothing to worry about. Just stress from year 12.

just thinking about people even asking whether I’m good makes me want to cry and just tell people what’s happening. But I don’t even know what’s happening.

I struggle with expressing my emotions effectively, and I don’t know what to do or who to talk to. I struggle making romantic relationships too I’m not sure why but I just can’t seem to get close to anyone at all. It’s ridiculous. My love life is basically not there at all and I feel like I’m falling while everyone else is growing as adults.

I know that I’ll just get ridiculed by my family if I talk to them about what’s happening in my head. I always fight with my mum. Our relationship isn’t the best too.

My friends see my nuclear family as perfect and with nothing wrong but since I have only just become close with them they don’t really know what’s up at home.

Idk what to do after I post this I might not look at it but at least it’s out there.

[White_Rose]

Dear Natsurewhatmynamesshouoldbe

Hello NSWMNSB, welcome to the forum. You have done well writing your first post. It can be scary to start with but you have managed it well. Thank you for telling us your story.

Feeling the way you do is not good. It may be depression or something similar but you need to go to your GP for a diagnosis. Meanwhile, why not complete the BB depression test? You can find this (K10) under The Facts above. Your replies will give an indication of any depression or anxiety. It's not a definitive test. You need a doctor for that but it is useful. Do it several times at different times and days and take your answers to your GP.

It was lovely that your netball coach asked about you. We do tend to hide our unhappiness so it is great she cared enough to ask. I cannot comment on your parents not caring. I think you may be surprised at how concerned they will be. Show the tests to them. Also look at the BB information under The Facts above. Download what you want and send for the booklets. No charge.

Not being able to express your emotion is very common. Sometimes it is just too hard to explain how you feel. I know that happened to me in the past. Feeling horrible and having no idea why or what to do about it. I had no idea what depression felt like so it did not occur to me this was depression. Reading the BB stuff may help to express your feelings.

It is also common to tell people we are OK when really what we want is someone to give us comfort. For me a hug can say so much and really helps. Feeling unmotivated is also common with depression.

If you do not feel you can talk to mom perhaps you could talk to someone by phone ot online. Kids Help Line has been set up for people up to age 25. They have a 24/7 helpline 1800 55 1800 and their web address is https://www.kidshelpline.com.au/ Give them a go. You can be anonymous if you wish.

Sometimes hormonal changes can make us feel unhappy. This may be the case as you suggested. No matter the cause I think it would be good if you saw your GP. At the very least it will set your mind at rest one way or another. Why not take a copy of your post with you + the K10 results. Or write a few dot points about what's happening and show the doctor. I know I have left the doctor's and been halfway home before I remember something I wanted to say. So annoying. Now I take a list.

Come and talk to us some more.

Mary