Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Quitting job because of anxiety

replies: 5

First time poster. I want to quit my job because it’s the main contributor to my anxiety. I earn good money but I feel like taking a lesser paid job with less responsibility. Has anyone experienced this? How did it work out? Am I attaching too much importance to money? I just really feel I want to be responsible for myself. My job now I’m responsible for the performance of others and I really don’t want that at this time in my life.

How my life spiralled out of control

replies: 1

I have always struggled with mental health but between 2015-2018 it was the best it had been. In the last 15 months it has been an all time low and my whole life has spiralled out of control. In March 2018 I started to experience knee pain. It existed literally all day every day and not one pain killer would touch it. It was severe majority of the time for 12 months. I saw 15 different "specialists" and not one could work out the problem. I was told it was a mystery pain and I would have to learn to live with the pain. I was 29 years old at the time. My life became unbearable. Chronic pain sucked the life out of me and removed any enjoyment. I would have liked my life if it wasn't for the pain. I felt like I was going through something which no one understood and no one could help me. This wasn't acceptable so I dedicated my life to researching and getting out of pain. I worked out the answer when everyone else failed two months ago. I have started my self devised rehab program and complete it every day. I am seeing results slowly and confident in enough time the pain will be gone. The experience has changed me forever. I can no longer trust anyone and I feel so alone. The chronic pain issue meant I left my job last November. I couldn't physically get to the office because driving worsened my pain. I couldn't get there by public transport because of my anxiety. I couldn't focus on work and became unproductive. I knew I was likely to be fired so left first. This was a high paying job which would have set me up for life. I studied three degrees to get it. Now I am unemployed and struggling financially. We run out of money every pay cycle, have no savings and can barely pay the bills. I feel angry that the negligence of the medical profession caused me to be in this situation. I never liked work but without it my life is a meaningless day to day existence. It feels strange to have no higher purpose. My days are empty and nothing is worth it. The isolation and spending all day every day alone is driving me nuts. I have no where to go and nothing to do. I feel so alone. The only thing saving me this last year is running. It is the only point to my life and my only social interaction. This week I injured my calf and the thought of not running is unbearable. My whole world has fallen apart and it's attached to my mental health. I go to worse case scenario because of my knee experience. I wish I didn't have to continue living.

New to this

replies: 4

Hi, I am 47 and just feel numb like I’m standing still and life is going on around me. My childhood wasn’t great I haven’t had contact with my mother since I left home at 15. Since then I have always lived my life by if anyone does me wrong I just walk away cut them out completely. I met my husband when I was 18 got married and started a family I was determined to create a life and family I had always dreamt of. I had 3 amazing kids and a great husband don’t get me wrong life was tuff financially and raising 3 kids but I felt my life was complete the in 2013 I found my husband whilst working overseas had been cheating for over 2 years was living a completely other life. That moment my world opened up right under my feet and I was completely gutted I was treading water with life I always imagined that if that happened to me I would leave but at that time I couldn’t cope with anything let alone starting life again we went to marriage counseling. Anyway 6 months into that when I was trying to find my feet we were told my 20 yr old son had a brain tumour the marriage was put on the back burning and now I had to find the strength to get through this with my son. In October 2014 we were told they could do no more and my son passed away in December I thought what was going in my marriage was the worst thing but No this was my worst nightmare. So today 6 yrs after my world came crashing down and 4 yrs after my son passed away I find my self wondering why I am here wondering how I am suppose to be happy or what would even make me happy I have withdrawn myself from the outside world completely I very really leave the house or see anyone. I just don’t want to live like this but my anxiety is so great I can’t change it.i often wonder why life would deal me 2 terrible things at once

Poor choices

replies: 5

Hello there I have recently made some very poor choices with my life and have destroyed all trust my wife had in me. I have been hurting for some time with our own issues and struggling to understand how we got to this situation but more recently I have engaged in an emotional connection with someone that is now over but the lies I told in that moment are going to continue to haunt me I feel forever I am a lousy person and a lousy husband and been a big disappointment to my kids as I have hurt their mum in such a way that it will affect them so much more than I could imagine I feel so remorseful but don’t have any clue on what to do next as this is all we do keep going over the same things and feeling more pain . My family really did deserve better than what I have done just not sure on what to do with myself at the moment

Birdsandbutterflys

replies: 3

Hi Thank you for allowing me to register. It was a bad day today. Couldn’t concentrate, dizzy and panicky. Just can’t seem to think straight and focus. So want to cut and run. I’m using all that I know to breath through it and bring myself back to reality. It’s hard. I reached out to Beyond Blue with the hope that I can get tips on how to find my way back to my happy place. I look forward to your support. Thanks again

Newbie - tips please.

replies: 1

Hi. I have depression, anxiety and am experiencing loneliness. I’d love some tips on accessing online support groups in my local area. I’ve joined a gum, do volunteer work and have a supportive husband but I’d love to connect with some new and like-m... View more

Hello-New Here

replies: 12

Hello. So, about me: 41, happily married with three little kids. I'm a stay at home Dad. I had colon cancer 8 years ago and left work to fight it and have been a stay-at-home Dad since. I suffer from sleep apnea as well which means I'm very tired all day everyday but especially in the afternoons. And I've suffered from depression since I was a teenager. I'm very alone. I can go months without talking to anyone but my wife and kids. It scares me that there's only 4 people on this planet who know I exist. Recently I've been trying to find penfriends to converse by email but that didn't lead anywhere. I thought maybe I might find some like-minded soul on here who might be able to relate to me. I'm a vegan and minimalist. We sold our car in January, convinced we could live without it and it was one of the best decisions we made. I'm now forced to walk everywhere (taking the kids to school, to the shops for groceries) so that gets me out of the house which is great. Driving was becoming a little dangerous with my tiredness anyway so it's a win-win. I now average 20k steps a day. I could take the bus but I try to avoid people as much as I can and walking has become my passion now. It's difficult lugging 10-15kg of groceries home but it's not impossible, just hard work. I feel as though I'm doing something with my life instead of just sitting around waiting for some luck. We struggle financially but I don't know how to reenter the workforce. I have no references, no friends, and the only jobs I'm qualified for would be retail and customer service. I suffer from social anxiety so dealing with people is a struggle. I write stories and poetry when I have time (even published two novels) but they don't bring in money. It seems you need a vast social network to be a successful writer nowadays and I have no social media at all. Anyway, that's me. Lost, alone, trying to get by. Hopeful of finding a friend.

Hello & a short intro

replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I am very happy to have found a forum where I can share my feelings with others who are having similar struggles. 2 years ago I had never thought that I would be struggling with things such as depression and other serious mental health problems but here I am now. I have been talking about it with my GP who put me in contact with a therapist who I've been visiting about once a month for like 18 months now. I have also had 1 appointment with a bulk billed tele-psychiatrist but I wasn't happy with how that went. I am waiting to see a Dr who specilises in ADHD that is a possibility but I have been waiting for such a long time now as he's busy. I have had symptoms of ADHD most of my life but more recently I have started to show a lot of Bi Polar behavior ( i did a BP questionair on black dog's site and scored fairly high). I am now at risk of losing my job of seven years. I want to leave anyways but don't want to be fired I want to find another job first. I know that sound like a bit of a rant but it pretty accurately describes where I'm at without going into it too much. I am looking forward to chatting with you all. Much Love. Smith042

Feeling so, so lost

replies: 9

Hi, I’m 24 and I’m struggling so much. I have not slept a wink tonight. I’ve made a move to a different state and honestly think I’ve made the wrong choice, I just want to be home, but I get the feeling that everyone will judge me for not giving it a proper go. The thought of going to interviews is making me physically sick. I can’t eat at all, I feel helpless. I feel like I’m incapable of doing things that other people find so easy, such as going to interviews. I always think moving would make me feel better, but I’ve always been told you take yourself with you wherever you go. How am I meant to get through things if I can’t do the simple things in life. I’m sorry for this, I just feel alone. I’ve always struggled with horrible anxiety and I think depression is now coming into play. I feel like I’m going to let so many people down If I go back home. Thanks for listening

Some positive thoughts

replies: 2

Hi Everyone! My first post here - go easy on me Earlier today, using the entire 2500 characters I had written up a major essay on how my life has become a struggle, but then I accidentally deleted it! In the meantime I have been working on a cover letter and resume for a job I am applying for and have found that since doing it I feel somewhat more positive about myself and urge anyone having a rough time to try this even if you are not going for a job. Sit down and write up a proper resume and list all the good stuff you've achieved over your life. I believe its a fairly standard exercise to combat low self-esteem to write a list of all your positive qualities but I've found in the past just doing this in isolation I would often find my negative self saying "yeah but I'm a fake", or "I cheated", or some other self-sabotaging nonsense (cos it really is just nonsense)! I'm wondering if the task of writing a resume gives a formal, specific focus to find those positive experiences and aspects in your life without that negative self-talk getting in the way. And if you are younger and have not yet entered the workforce I guess you could do something similar using achievements at school/sports/interests/hobbies as a basis for this. Just to further illustrate my point I am a shorter stature guy (162cm) on the path to mending my self esteem and I made the mistake yesterday of reading a bunch of blogs and articles about how shorter guys are discriminated against/Napoleon syndrome etc. Of all my negative self-talk in the past that's never really been a major issue to me but I was left feeling pretty rotten and depressed, but as i said after writing up a resume and thinking about my achievements in a formal setting it's put me back into a more positive headspace. Finally one other thing is I never used to fully understand what is meant by not giving a "f***" about others. Its not that you shouldn't care about other people's situation in life or their welfare, but that its none of your business what their opinion is of you, and their opinion has nothing to do with your value as a person. Do unto yourself (as well as others) as you would have others do unto you is my golden rule. Riding this wave of life with you all - see you out there!

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Quitting job because of anxiety replies: 5

How my life spiralled out of control replies: 1

New to this replies: 4

Poor choices replies: 5

Birdsandbutterflys replies: 3

Newbie - tips please. replies: 1

Hello-New Here replies: 12

Hello & a short intro replies: 2

Feeling so, so lost replies: 9

Some positive thoughts replies: 2