Hi folks,
Thanks for including me here. I am the middle of 5 adult children in our family and our mum passed away last August after 8 weeks of being in hospital. She was just shy of her 90th birthday and had increasing health issues over many years. However, she recovered so many times that it was still a shock to us. My 87-year-old dad is understandably still dealing with the grief, as we all are.
My brother has always had a hot temper and has been an undiagnosed alcoholic for years but he still has a good side mixed up with all that. Mum would forgive him anything but the rest of us were getting sick of his moodiness and outbursts.
He and his (now former) partner have 2 beautiful toddlers that we all love. They had a rocky relationship, though, and I could see he could be quite nasty to her at times. I asked her if she wanted help several times but she said she could handle it so I respected her decision.
While we all struggled with grief after Mum died, he just didn't know how to deal with it and kept to himself a lot. Then, in early January, he was at home with his partner and kids when they got into an awful argument. He was drunk and he lashed out, She was also holding her 1-year-old daughter at the time. She called the police and then my sister who lived nearby. My sister came and got her and the kids while the police took my brother away. The police released him later that night but he needed a safe place to go that wasn't near his family or their place. I went to get him but I only did it because I knew our mum would have wanted that.
His partner has been amazing and she resumed contact with him as she still wanted him to see his kids. My husband and I are helping her any way we can and she has received a lot of support through DV agencies. He also had to join a 20-week men's behaviour program and he gave up alcohol cold-turkey. My sister and dad agreed he could live at their place but it's put a huge strain on our family relationships.
I can't find much info on mental health support for family members of perpetrators so that's why I'm here. Has anyone else here had to go through this?
I can also offer something back to this community. I live with chronic health conditions including autoimmune arthritis and I now help others going through similar issues so I might be able to offer support to people like me here.
