Dear New Member~
I'd like to give you a warm welcome here to the Forum. I was intrigued by your Discussion-name, 'XXXactual' is radio parlance for the person in charge of XXX speaking so that would make it the person in charge of MK, rather than other thoughts that lead the wrong way (please excuse me for rabbiting on:)
You post has a sensible aim in wanting to talk with others, isolation does not realy help. You sound as if you have sorted out what is best for you, even with hesitations over your diagnosis during those ten years.
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From what I understand, simply from having known two people with Schizophrenia it is often a case having techniques to disregard some things in order to cope and function in life, in other words be in charge. I'm no expert, talking to others might show better understanding.
I don't think here it would make matters worse for you to talk, you seem to be saying in your first paragraph it might do more harm than good. This place is pretty heavily supervised and all who post here agree not to harm others in any way. Any post you feel unhappy with just skip over.
I would suggest you look here on the Forum for others who have similar problems, and the easiest way to do that is to use our search function (the spyglass at top of page) for the word "Schizophrenia" (no quotes). You will get nearly 500 hits, and can quickly browse though them to find those that look like they might meet your needs.
I only have a dim idea of what you must have to deal with as my own problems, PTSD, depression and anxiety do generate false thoughts and ideas. I have are often been driven by these while they are not in fact true. Sorting out those from reality is hard, even with years of practice, and I find talking has been the best way to deal with it, either with my partner or my psych, though some medications do help.
I hpe you find someone here who can be of help, in any case you are more than welcome to keep talkng here if you would like to
Croix
