I’m my wife and I had our second child 8 weeks ago. Our first child was through IVF this took around 18 months which was really testing for us. On top of all that COVID hit the world. Our first was a boy and he developed a real attachment to me (dad). My wife really struggled with this and felt he hated her and thought we would be better without her. This was really tough for me as I knew he loved her and he would show that, but she play it all down. The struggles got really bad and I would cop messages like having kids ruined her live and she regrets ever meeting me as I did this to her. Thankfully she seemed help and the psych have really helped her. We were lucky enough that we fell pregnant naturally with our second. We wanted two kids but didn’t expect to have one this soon, but we’re happy about it. The pregnancy went well as my wife didn’t get preeclampsia like last time and everything was tracking well. The baby came a week early as she was a bit small. My wife tried to give birth naturally, but we ended up with a cesarian. Unfortunately post birth her BP went up and she had an extended stay in hospital which was not how we expected this birth to happen. But we got home and settled in nicely until now. My wife is having those feelings of being hated by our children and is saying she is resenting me again and if our second child hates her she will leave us. I just don’t know what to do. I run my own business so I have been able to drop everything and come home is she needs help, but it seems to not be working and I feel it is putting stress on me from a business side of things as well as a mental side. has anyone been through similar things? I am at loss as to what to do. thanks for listening
Congratulations to you and your wife on the birth of your second child. I read your post and my heart is going out to your and your beautiful family. Please encourage your wife to seek help with these thoughts. It sounds like she could be suffering from postnatal depression. With her conerns about whether her children will love her I can't help but wonder about her life experiences particularly with her family. You both need professionalhelp to get through this so please reach out. There are many services that can help. You will get there. I think these forums are great but you need more than this right now. Please connect with a service asap. You are both great parents and your little ones love you.
I agree with "Fearless" that you both need professional help. Perhaps go to your GP and mention it to your visiting nurse.
Certainly the struggle having two young children causes great pressure, this stress causes insecurity and sometimes people feel rejected. In your personal situation running a business as well as this worry cant be good for your mental well being.
