Lost on Planet Earth

[Infinite_Faith]

HI,

When you think about the universe the size of it....one has to sit back astonished. Compare that with Earth or ourselves and I don't know about you but I feel small. Tiny really, possibly insignificant. I mention this because sometimes when I think about depression and the vastness of the universe, something goes off in my head. I think it might be that when I'm feeling the depression, I equate that with my worthlessness in comparison to the universe. I also get angry and frustrated about life and death because I don't understand its purpose. When I don't undersand its purpose, what's the point? You are only going to die anyway right?

I undersand this is not generally healthy thinking. It's probably not something Paris Hilton would ponder (or does she?) I would like to know what all this planet earth deal is all about? But no one knows.....and that annoys me. Purpose, purpose purpose, isn't that important? Isn't that what we are really doing, living not knowing the purpose? The answer of course is yes, no one knows. Just get on with it. Distract yourself and don't think about purpose. (Well unless you might like to go the higher power route...which I don't)

If there was a higher power, we might see 'it' at work as least once. Is it to much to ask for one miracle (Per week :P) Feed the starving? Heal the Mentally Ill?

I'm not sure why I came to this forum. I can't think of any questions. Maybe just typing out ones thoughts could help. (I am half expecting this to be rejected...probably breaching some forum rules.....I read them, I promise :))

Maybe I might make a friend. Thats something I don't have. When I was a kid, I never thought about friends, I guess I was focused on my instrument playing, but now as I am older, I miss not having a close friend. Though I could never keep them when I was drinking, which I quit about 3 years ago. (Along with smoking) That's the other thing, what did I do that for....hey, I'm depressed, that just increases my life expectancy. 😛 (Proves I'm mental)

I mention friends because I have been doing some reading and it seems (and I will let the pro's take over here) that maintaining friendships and family relations are probably one of the most important things in life. Hey, no one ever told me that. Besides my famiily is a mess.....and there is little hope of a happy family reunion. (But you can pick your friends right?)

Something I have to working on, finding friends.

Thanks IF

[White_Rose]

Dear Infinite Faith

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. Thank you for your thoughtful post. I think you are both right and wrong about the world. I gather that when you think about the vastness of space you truly feel like a speck of dust in the cosmos. That's true relatively speaking. But when you think of yourself on Earth, of all the people you know, both now and in your history books, maybe you can see what a fantastic heritage we have by being human.

You know that man has occupied the Earth for only a few minutes of its history, but we have made it our home. Yes we have done pretty crappy things with the planet. I hope we can see this and start to mend the damage. You mentioned giving up drinking and smoking, both very healthy things to do. But they are more than that. You can cripple yourself physically with these ways but the real damage is done to your ability to see the Earth as the marvellous creation it is.

When we are healthy we have more ability to see and experience this world we live in, and more importantly, to see how wonderful it is. No one is worthless or insignificant, we all have a part to play. You can make friends here on BB, although they will be cyber friends as there is no way of getting together. I enjoy 'speaking' with many people here, just as I enjoy my being with my friends where I live.

May I suggest you look around this forum and read the threads. You may find you can talk to some of the people who write in here and offer some support and encouragement, or perhaps some advice from your own experience. Enjoy your time here. Yes we will all die one day but I intend to pack a lot of living in before that day.

Mary

[Infinite_Faith]

Hi Mary,

Thanks for taking the time to write such a nice and happy post. 🙂 You are clearly have a great PMA. (Positive Mental Attitude).

Wish I had one of those. I was watching a youtube video the other day and happened to notice (or hear) this woman speaking. It turned out to be Bindi Irwin (Steve Irwins daughter).

Wow, what a delightful person. So full of hope about life, so positive and optimistic. Clearly some of that is genetics. It has to be, you can almost see Steve's passion in her come out. It's not something you can buy, you are born with it. Those that are lucky to have more of this PMA than others are blessed, because anyone who knows, depression sucks big time.

Some of the negative stuff is learned through parents the world. I often am envious of some families. I think wow, how nice it must be. You ask yourself 'why wasn't my dad or mum like that'.

That's just how it is one planet earth, some are blessed others seemed to be cursed. You suggest that I must try to see 'Earth as the marvelous creation', and it is I agree. But I am trapped in depression at the moment and it's hard to see anything good when there.

Thanks for your help and kindness.

IF

[White_Rose]

Hello Infinite Faith

That's a rather lovely name. I find the 'blessed' and 'cursed' discussion rather difficult. Like you I have depression. I have been through some horrendous times with this. Of course I have wondered, "Why me", "It's not fair" etc. It's not a matter of this person deserving good things and others deserving bad things. I know you are not saying this, but sometimes it feels like it.

To a large extent I think people make their own happiness. Having the black dog constantly barking in your ear is enough to drive anyone nuts. We are hard-wired in some senses to be the person we become. It also depends on the individual upbringing of everyone. Even within families there is a disparity of love and attention. Not because parents are cruel and nasty but often because another child needs more attention. Parents, in general, do a great job, but they are also learning as they go. Especially with the eldest child.

Bindi Irwin is a delightful person and as you say, very much like her dad. We lost a good man when he died. I think this demonstrates the cycle of life. Steve died but passed his PMA to Bindi and she in turn will pass it on to her children. And the world is enriched.

I understand your depression I really do. So do all the people here who live with that condition. We learn how to manage it and live to the fullest extent possible. Do you have any help with managing your depression? It sounds to me as though you feel completely overwhelmed by depression and that's not good. My GP would laugh to know I written that as our conversations often revolve round me being overwhelmed.

Do you read much? I think you said you read a little. I have recommended this set of books to many people here. Living with IT, Living IT up, Letting IT go: Attaining awareness out of adversity. The author is Bev Aisbett. She has also written Taming the Black Dog. It's good but I think the first three are the best. IT is anxiety in the books but I believe the content works as well for depression. The books are thin paperbacks. Not sure if libraries stock them but worth a look. Try second hand bookshops or perhaps browse online bookshops. My set cost $15-$17 each, new. I added the subtitle to Letting IT go to tempt you into reading it. The books are easy to read, lots of humour, if somewhat black at times, and tremendously helpful. Best of all they don't take long to read.

Mary

[White_Rose]

Oops! I forgot to mention the BB cafe in the BB Social Zone. Plenty of people to talk to and make friends with. And you can eat whatever you want.

Mary

[Jugglin_Strugglin]

Hi IF,

It is a shame that my 1st post to you was lost, cos I did discuss a few of these thoughts.

Although depression is a curse, at least we are able to 'feel' more than if we were 'normal'. Reading these forums is can be so emotional & thought provoking, it is wonderful to be capable of gaining a deeper insight of self. I would sooner this, than be unthinking, unfeeling, although that would be easier.

The world is amazing, but the ways of it suck. If we were born in a different place or culture like say PNG, Peru or even Thursday Island, our values & expectations would be so different. A lot of the global population have a simpler way of life. I envy that. It is hard in our culture to attain this without being seen as a weirdo. Even then, to opt out would be hard cos there is always going to be some bills we can't avoid, like council rates. So we are forced to be part of a society we may not be suited to. Just another brick in the wall?

As to purpose, all philosophers past have not been able to answer that question, so religions were invented to give peace to those who choose to believe. An easy option, really. Purpose is an individual thing. All you can hope to do is live a life that you enjoy, do things that interest you, make your own goals. Sooo easy to say & may not be possible for many, but maybe it is something to aim for, a goal in itself. In 100 yrs, no one will know we existed, so as shitty as life can be, maybe we just have to make the best of the hand we've been dealt. For most, it will be a constant struggle with hurdles of various heights. We will jump them differently.. We will all get over them, We can try to make it easier on ourselves, but believe me, I know that depression makes them seem insurmountable. Perhaps I can walk around it instead of trying to jump higher than I'm able.

There are many friends here. So many know exactly how you think, and how you are feeling now. It helps to share thoughts & it makes for some great conversations. It all combines (expressing things, receiving advice, learning of others' trauma, providing advice) to give a sense of belonging & is great therapy in itself.

There MUST be many like-minded people living in our communities. Is it because we hide our mental health issues that stops us from connecting with others and making friends. It took courage for me to post here at 1st, so my social anxiety, together with lack of opportunity, makes it hard to connect with others in the real world.

Lee

[Infinite_Faith]

HI White Rose,

You raise some interesting food for thought. I think I use comedy (Dark comedy) do mask the depression. Overwhelmed, so true...the story of my life at the moment. The situation I find myself in is compounding my depression, and some days I just fall in a heap. (Like most, it's a long story)

My upbringing was tough. My dad was alcoholic, though the other day my mother down graded him to simply just a binge drinker. Well try and explain the difference to a frightened child mummy?

My dad died last year. There is so much family fighting that anyone with half a brain should just cut ties with them. I have tried to heal the past the best I can, but some wounds are to deep.

I hope I don't come across like I am ungrateful. I am very well aware of what is happening in other countries. We live in a lucky country, just to have access to such resources such as BB is a blessing.

Hugs IF

[Infinite_Faith]

Hi again White Rose,

I forgot to thank you for the book list. We really can do a lot of work on ourselves out side of BB armed with the right tools (and books).

ty

IF

[Infinite_Faith]

Hi Lee,

You bring up so many good points, well written. (In no particular order) You mentioned PNG, (and other tribes), there was a study done on the PNG people to find and signs of depression. Out of the 2000 interviewed they found on one single case of depression. Why? Well, reason (according the the pros) is simple, we lead do much of a sedentary life style. You are a PNG do they exersize and they would laugh. They don't because they are hunters and this keeps them fit, keeps the mind fit.....all these things must work in harmony, or we end up out of sync with the rest of the planet.

Yes I agree, it is a tad confronting typing about oneself especially some so personal. (And as you say, we usually hide) I mean who goes to a party and tells anyone who ask "How are you" ......'Oh thanks for asking, I'm feeling depressed at the moment"

You will loose friends faster than the speed of light. (Just in case anyone is curious, the speed of light is 186, 000 Miles per second) Now we've all learnt something that has nothing to do with depression.

Yes, in 100 years we will be dust and I must say I like the attitudes of some others on here when you here them say they are going to live life to the fullest.

I'ts so easy to throw in the towel.

I have a lot to work on, the first is trying to consistently get out of bed each day. Some days I just can't face the day even thought I know its the best thing for me.

One day at a time, one new idea, one new tool or strategy.

Regards

IF

[Jugglin_Strugglin]

I get it all.

we haven't thrown in towel though. One foot in front of the other.

thnaks for the laugh, too. My son just started Physics this wk..metric now 300km/s, I'll try to remember it and maybe impress him. Ha

Lee