New and anxious

[checkers17]

I'm currently working two jobs for financial reasons. I love both jobs but they both come with their deadlines and pressures and I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I feel like if I ask my colleagues for help it just takes longer because I have to explain the tasks to them. On top of this, I have always been eager to please and anxious about what others think of me (its taken a lot of effort to post here!). One of my jobs requires me to work closely with relatives and I am extra eager to please them. I seem to spend most of my time worrying about being overwhelmed which means I get less done and therefore end up even more overwhelmed - its a vicious cycle!

I also dwell too much on the past, replaying in my head conversations that I have had throughout the day in fear that I have offended someone without meaning to. This often results in unnecessary worry and regret.

I worry about talking to people about these issues in case they think I am 'making it up'. I also know that they are insignificant in comparison to what some people are going through and am ashamed that I get so anxious about little things. I have battled depression in the past but I feel that this is more anxiety than depression. I communicate quite well with my partner and feel like he is keeping me afloat.

Does anyone have any tips for relieving the anxiety burden? Or the replaying of conversations? Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

[white knight]

Hi checkers, welcome

Worry gives you ulcers and nothing good in your life.

A mentality of "trying to save the world" will eventually result in some form of breakdown. That could mean, as in my case, never working again. Its serious stuff. If that happens you will be mentally fragile for the rest of your life. Prevention is better than cure.

There are other illnesses that could be responsible for your current mentality. It is essential to get a proper diagnosis.

The following is an extract from another thread l responded to today.

Relaxation. The most effective l found was muscle tensioning exercises performed just before sleeping. It lowers your hreart rate and help with sound sleep. Also listening to youtube. Google

Maharaji youtube sunset and

youtube Maharaji the perfect instrument.

Try some deep breathing.

medication. Sometimes we need a helping hand at least in the short term

Therapy. sorting out your fears is so important. My therapist recognised l had unrealistic thoughts, worrying about things that were unlikely to occur.

Hobbies and sports. Diverting your mind is important.

Motivation. attend motivation lectures. Turn negatives into positives. Google

Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

Reduce dwelling. google

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: know your limits- beyondblue

Topic: an over active mind- beyondblue

Topic: nip it in the bud, ideas- beyondblue

Topic: burnout, the turtle and the hare- beyondblue

Tony WK

[Nervybella]

Hi Checkers,

I, like you, replay past conversations and meetings in my head all day long. It can be exhausting.

My psychologist is teaching my a technique (takes some practice) whereby every time you find yourself replaying or thinking about the past you say out loud "I notice I'm thinking about XYZ". This is supposed to diffuse the thought so that you don't get hooked on it. For example "I notice I'm thinking about what I said to Sam earlier". Then move on and do something else.

Another technique I use is when I replay the one "scene" or thought over and over I give it a name, so for me I dwell on a negative experience at work, so I think to myself, when I notice I'm replaying work things, "oh horrible bosses is playing again, OK". This has the same effect of not letting you delve deeper and analyse the thoughts.

Its taken me a long time to be able to do this and still really have to concentrate to do it. Also please note I am no way a medical professional but I thought I would share some techniques I have been taught.

Bella

[Moonstruck]

Nervybella - that is a very interesting tip you gave - noticing what you are thinking and voicing it to yourself....."Now I am thinking about.....again" etc. I wonder if I could master it. You said a psychologist told you about it...does the procedure have a name? is it some kind of therapy?

I am intrigued - is it really helping you? have a good day Bella

[Nervybella]

Hello Moonstruck,

Yes, my psychologist told me about it last time I visited. I don't think it had a name as such (or I just don't remember it)...she used it as a technique to "unhook" from my thoughts and bring my mind back to the present.

It is helping me, when I remember to do it. But like anything just keep practising. I think if I get really good at this technique it could be a big help!

Hope this answered some of your questions 🙂

Bella

[Croix]

Dear Bella and Moon~

I'm not sure if this is exactly what you are talking about, however when I first became ill I was unable to realize what was happening to me. This ranged from experiencing a headache and not realizing the fact - just living with it, thought to intense worry about past or future events -the hamster wheel of the mind.

As time has gone on I've come to realize what is happening and can say to myself -" Oh, I've headache, where are my tablets?" Or "Here we go again, dwelling on xyz. Time I got up, made a drink and tried a coping technique". I call this self-awareness.

I went from never being able to do it, to mostly being able to do it. Unfortunately coping techniques are another matter, I'm still mastering all of them.

Croix