Hello Max, to find out that your spouse is having an affair or cheating on you, the same thing, is devastating, the trust has gone and they don't give a damn about what they are doing.
The marriage vows mean nothing, 'in better or worse, in sickness and health' and to blame you is a way of her taking false control over a situation and pushing her into a new relationship.
Whether you had to work away was agreed on and a joint decision, but the lies she has told you and possibly other people are her downfall.
When someone has been caught out they are going to blame you, irrespective of whether or not it is your fault, just to satisfy their guilt.
I could suggest relationship counselling, however, emotional support has to go both ways, if it only goes one way then you can never do enough to please them.
I can't tell you what to do, but if she has broken this affair on and off several times before, then you have to decide whether you can trust her, but can I suggest you talk with your doctor, and would very much like to hear back from you.
Take care.
Geoff.
