It feels like i don't belong anymore

[spotteddog]

i thought i'd come here as i dont know anywhere else to go and i dont want to talk to anyone about this. No one cares about me, no one asks me how am i, or why weren't you here today, whenever i see my friends, especially my "best friend" she chooses to rather hang out with the others in my group and she never acts interested when talking to me, but when with others she's laughing and having fun and interested and especially when it's just us alone hanging out together she's always on her phone, she just says hi then she goes on her phone and scrolls through instagram for the whole day and since i don't know what to do i just go on my phone even though i hate my phone because it's so boring and i can see in front of me what it does to people it distracts them and she never asks me how i am or like today we had church and most of the girls there go to her school which im a little friends but obviously not as close with but she didn't ask me why i wasn't here and whats worse is she's closer to me because our parents are good friends and family friends with them so we are closer than our other friends, but she doesn't talk to me as much compared to others and i try to talk about interesting stuff and keep our conversations longer but barely makes a difference. I now don't go church as much because i don't like hanging out with that group because i don't like the rest of them that much and because to be honest i don't like seeing her knowing that she's not going to care i'm there and no one asks about me from there so it feels like i don't belong since no one from there seems to care anymore. Another thing is that there is a person who asks if i'm okay except she can be mean sometimes and i'm grateful to actually have someone who cares but at the same time she can be rude and make me feel like as if i'm wrong and doing the wrong thing and as if i'm always making the worst decisions for example she'll comment on something i say but as if it was bad, anyways she'll say stuff like that and judge everything i say and it makes me feel bad about myself and so i'm always cautious of what i say in front of her, it's annoying cos she can care at some points but at the same time judge me and not even realise how much it hurts. Anyways theres more, but i stay up all night thinking about this stuff and its affected my school badly and i just lost my dog a few months agoand i hate everything and i wish my dog were here because he was my only and best friend and truly cared

[Peppermintbach]

Hi spotteddog,

I’m so sorry about your dog. You must miss him very much. I think dogs often make some of the most wonderful best friends. Loyal, caring and so emotionally attuned...I’m deeply sorry for your loss...

You sound very lonely and down plus possibly feeling rejected. I think it really hurts when it feels as though certain friends are ignoring you or seem to be choosing others over you. That’s very painful and I feel for you...

On the one hand, you have your “best friend” and friendship circle, who aren’t very attentive to you and don’t act very caring, which would really, really sting. But on the other hand, you have this other friend who gives you very mixed signals: caring but she makes you feel judged too. That must be confusing...

I don’t know if this will be helpful or not but I thought that I would share an idea with you. You can make of it what you will. But maybe think about other people in your exisiting circle that you could get to know and become friends with. For example, I know you’re going to church less often these days but maybe there are people there that you could consider talking to and trying to become friends with...just a gentle idea to expand your friendship circle a little...

I’m glad you decided to reach out here. I think, generally speaking, most people need to feel cared for and for people to ask us how we are doing. It hurts to go without...

There’s no obligation or pressure but if you feel comfortable to continue sharing your thoughts and feelings, it would be lovely to hear from you again. I feel there are many warm and compassionate people here who would want to support you or read along...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Doolhof]

Hi spotteddog,

I too welcome you tot he forum and tot he community here. Pepper has provided you with a lovely response. I attend Church and sometimes feel like the people there don't care if I am there or not and I sometimes feel very lonely in a room full of people.

That is when I go and talk to someone who looks as lonely as I feel! It sometimes helps to think more about other people than ourselves. I have also learnt to not take in everything that people say about me or to me, that can just do my head in at times.

Mobile phones are wonderful things...they can also stop immediate communication between two people who are right next to each other! I don't know how we will ever change that.

I like Pepper's ideas! I hope you can try to incorporate some of them into your life.

I too find that the more I stay away from a place, the less I want to return. I am stopping myself from being with people and reducing my opportunities for connection!

Cheers to you from Dools