Dear C.f.~
I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum. It's a friendly place with many people who have had all sorts of experiences and now want to use that knowledge to help people such as yourself.
Seven month of such misery must have been very hard. Despair, crying, no relief from sleep and no improvement means you must be at the end of your tether and really do need help so things can get better.
You said you can't go and ask for help. Would you like to say why? I've PTSD, anxiety and bouts of depression and found I simply could not keep going as I was. I ended up with medical support - plus the help of my partner. I know from my own experience things can get better.If it's true for me I'd expect it is true for you too.
The first time someone posts here it can be very hard to know what to say. You have shown clearly how bad you feel, and have said it has been going on for a long time. It's very hard to give any sort of advice or even have a meaningful conversation without knowing a little more about you and your situation.
While of course you only say what you are comfortable with it would help to know if you are under treatment, or have been diagnosed. To know if you have a family or others to support you - and so on.
Would you like to come back and say a little more? You will be met with care and understanding.
Croix
