I'm new, but also not really

because · ‎28-09-2018

Hi guys,

I've never been really good at reaching out I guess.. I've had this account since 2016, I made it when I was in a rough patch, but I've never done anything with it. It always seems like my problems are just me being lazy to me, so I haven't really gotten any help before. Even though I do know there were times when I needed it! I'm constantly torn between telling myself I need help, and telling myself to stop being such a baby.

A few years ago when I was in year 11/12 I was in such a bad place, and I didn't speak to a single person about it. I don't know how I managed it, or hid it. I'm 21 now and it's been a slow battle for me to get where I am, which was pretty good! I have my rough times, but usually I manage, and I know that it will get better

but I feel like it's going downhill again. Little things keep happening this year and its just piling up. I don't want to be like in year 12 again. And now I have a uni assignment that's 4 days overdue but I can't even start it for some reason. It's not even a hard assignment! Its just this little thing.. I don't even know if there's anything wrong with me, since I've never spoken to anyone about it really, but I dunno. Maybe I'm just sad and lazy. Maybe its just hormones. Even now just typing this I'm wondering if I'm on the right website.

But maybe this is a good place to get used to talking. I hope I'll be active here.

baet123 · ‎28-09-2018

Hey Because,

Welcome to forums and congratulations on your first post. It takes so much courage and bravery to share your story with us and you should be extremely proud. I can tell that you are extremely resilient which is amazing. BB is an amazing platform that you can post as much or as little as you like. Many users have been through and are going through similar experiences as yourself and we can all share our experiences and support each other through our tough times and our good times.

Sorry to hear that the last few years have been rough. That really sucks but it is important to know it does get better and that we must remain positive and as strong as possible!!! (even though at times it can be super hard).

I am at university too and I know that motivation/studying can be a struggle for many of us. What are you studying if you don't mind me asking? What your going through is extremely normal and common and I believe that you should consider seeing your disability adviser at university and talking to her if your comfortable doing so. I would also consult your GP and discuss treatment/intervention options moving forward.

The best thing I did was seek help. I believe its never to late to reach out and seek help but the earlier the better. Leaving it until things get to a certain stage where the negative effects are far to great for one to handle and cope with isn't a good idea.

Would love to hear more about your situation and again welcome to the forums 🙂

All the best,

Nick.

geoff · ‎29-09-2018

Hello, and I'm very sad about the way you are feeling, and yes this maybe suffering from depression or could it be that you're not sure about wanting to do this course, or it could be both.

You have so much strength, now and when you were in year 11/12 to cope with this by yourself, the only trouble is when we try and cope with our depression by ourselves we often avoid various problems which are too hard to face, so we tend to push them aside, so they can surface once again.

What you can do is contact Reachout and/or Headspace these people are trained but they dress up in casual clothes and see people up to the age of 25 and may help get you over this hurdle.

Have you done the K-10 test, where it tells you the level of depression you may have, try and do this a few times, but not straight after another and also can I suggest you write down how you are feeling, including when you were in year 11/12.

If and when you also decide to see your GP you can take all of this and show them.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

because · ‎10-10-2018

Hey Nick, thanks for the welcome

I'm majoring in Japanese Studies at uni, and kind of thinking about maybe teaching English in Japan after I get out of uni. Though that brings its own set of things to stress about on top of uni work..

It is really kind of nice to know though that at least I'm not the only student who's getting so worked up about stuff, even if I wish no one had to go through this. So I'm really glad to hear that getting help has really worked out for you!

I know there is a wellbeing centre at my uni, and I'm really thinking about going to see one of the psychs there. I eventually handed in that assignment in as well! It was really late and I know the mark will be terrible, but I'm trying to tell myself its better than not handing in anything at all. If I fail this unit I don't know what will happen.. so maybe it is time to see someone about this before that happens.

Thanks again so much for your encouragement 🙂

fortunecookie · ‎11-10-2018

Hey because,

You're definitely not alone!! I struggled a lot at uni too, did A LOT of procrastinating, which left me generally very unhappy and socially isolated. In the end I couldn't handle the pressure with assignments and exams anymore, I cried every day.. But I never said a word to anyone, either.

Funny enough, I was writing an assignment on women in the Japanese workforce around that time... (it didn't go very well, but after getting support I managed to get through the course).

I can definitely recommend contacting a uni advisor / consellor! They can tell you which help is available at your uni, give you practicable steps on what you need to do to access support (e.g. paperwork), and check in with you and keep you on track. (I needed that, since even getting out of bed on my days off was too hard back then.)

For me, reaching out to someone at uni was the hardest thing ever, but it was a massive help and I know I should have done it years earlier. I'm glad I eventually did it.

Hang in there, you can do it! 🙂

baet123 · ‎12-10-2018

Hey Because,

Wow that is amazing. Are you fluent in Japanese? Do you watch anime? Japan is amazing and it sounds like your plans are far more interesting than mine 😄

Don't stress man. This is so so so common. You are extremely resilient, intelligent and strong. Nothing you can't handle mate!

I would definitely see your well-being centre. They are super nice, friendly, non-judgmental and extremely understanding. Definitely worth seeing and advising your university sooner rather than later.

Please keep us posted and have a great weekend.

Nick.